I'm am happy to say that I am now back in college after a break from a dissapoint spring semester of '03(love wise that is). With the help of my religion, Dr. Phil and of course this site, I have been able to use my newly gained self-confidence and self-esteem to my advantage. I have not gotten any "digits," that is not the current goal. I have been succsessful in approaching women without pressuring to get the phone number. Now I find myself developing a confort zone with women much quicker. This means that soon I will no longer need to have a "confort zone" anymore! I find that by focusing on using an approach where I only require myself to be friendly, I am able to perform better, so to speak. Before, I was preasuring myself to get the digits. Now, I have taken that preasure away. I may not be getting the digits, but I am getting comfortable approaching women that I am not familar with. Once this has been mastered, then I can start trying to get the number. At this point, I have been observing and looking for potential dates. So far, I have found 2 girls that I find attractive and interesting. 1 in my Directing Class and 1 in my English class. None so far in my Tennis class however, I have only had 1 class period so far, so more time is needed. I think I'm leaning toward the girl in my English class. Shes more of a 8.5-9 range, but she fits my physical preferances well, but so does the girl in my directing class(she's about a 7.5-8, which is still good). So, what I plan to do on Monday of next week, is approach the girl 8.5-9HB. We sat next to each other to day and I did talk to her a little and joked with her. I plan to give her a formal interduction on monday, so that we are officaily no longer strangers. I will sake her hand, for I believe that is important. This will elminate my need for a confort zone with her. And, when and if I decide to ask her out, it will be much easier to do. At any rate, I wanted you all to see how much better I am doing now. I know it is not much growth, but it is signifciant. Things are moving along faster then I expected. I would also like to thank those of you who helped me as well.
"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"
The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.
Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.
Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.
Field Report: Back to school
- Thread starter SDBmania
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Uhhh don't formally introduce yourself to her and shake her hand??? That's retarded bro!!! Just keep talking with her and being confident. If she's interested trust me, she'll let you know by asking for your name and flirting with you. I'm glad your making progress and becoming comfortable talking/approaching girls. However DO NOT SHAKE HANDS AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF, that's just lame!!
PIMP
PIMP
??
Hmm, what? I would be working the Kino. I don't want it to feel like we are just class mates, but acquaintances as well. I want to treat this situation like I would with any other person, male or female. I'm not focusing on "relationship or dating" at this point. Since when did it become lame to shake someone's hand?
Hmm, what? I would be working the Kino. I don't want it to feel like we are just class mates, but acquaintances as well. I want to treat this situation like I would with any other person, male or female. I'm not focusing on "relationship or dating" at this point. Since when did it become lame to shake someone's hand?
FreeStyleZ
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2003
- Messages
- 358
- Reaction score
- 3
Your situation is what led me to this site to find tips on women. When i got over my shyness I was very confident and could talk to any woman comftorably. Yeah, no problem. Soon I found out though that I was talking to them so comftorably that I was their friend... and they never looked at me as anything more than such. If you dont start applying things that this site preaches early on, then it will work against you.
Exactly, that's why I thought that a hand shake would be a great way to start using Kino. And only since we really have not had a proper introduction. But, I do find that you are right. I have always been good at being friends with women, so now I need to step it up a notch. That's why I want to start trying to get comfortable with using Kino.Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
Your situation is what led me to this site to find tips on women. When i got over my shyness I was very confident and could talk to any woman comftorably. Yeah, no problem. Soon I found out though that I was talking to them so comftorably that I was their friend... and they never looked at me as anything more than such. If you dont start applying things that this site preaches early on, then it will work against you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MagicDonJuan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2003
- Messages
- 49
- Reaction score
- 0
You can do the handshake thing if you want, but after the first 2 or so meetings, and you've established enough rapport and a connection with her, you should go to hugging when you greet and leave her, and any other girl you know. If you're fun and easy going around her the hug will seem natural
Make it seem like you always do it, and they'll come to expect your hugs and be perfectly comfortable with it. They'll even ask where their hug is when you dont hug them.
Handshakes are for guys, you hug the women.
Make it seem like you always do it, and they'll come to expect your hugs and be perfectly comfortable with it. They'll even ask where their hug is when you dont hug them.
Handshakes are for guys, you hug the women.
Ah, thank you. Yes, I was only thinking about doing the hand sake once. Just as the offical introduction. But, that's the only time I would do the hand shake. So, then after Monday, I should start hugging her? Should I hug her when we say good bye on Monday as well? Also, she is shorter then me so how can I initiate the hug? Should I bend down or what? God, I hate geing so AFC like, but at least I'm getting better!Originally posted by MagicDonJuan
You can do the handshake thing if you want, but after the first 2 or so meetings, and you've established enough rapport and a connection with her, you should go to hugging when you greet and leave her, and any other girl you know. If you're fun and easy going around her the hug will seem natural
Make it seem like you always do it, and they'll come to expect your hugs and be perfectly comfortable with it. They'll even ask where their hug is when you dont hug them.
Handshakes are for guys, you hug the women.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
OMG!!! Bro your THINKING waaaaaaaaaay too much!!! You don't calculate your moves!! You can't say, "Oh ok, today I'm going to hug her." You have to get the vibe and flow off what she does and how she acts towards you. What if she's in a really bad mood the next time you see her? Then are you still going to hug her even though she seems distant the whole time??? You need to learn to read girls first. They give you all the clues you need to know based off their body lanuage and how they talk to you.
Stop analyzing so much, it will be your downfall!!!
PIMP
Stop analyzing so much, it will be your downfall!!!
PIMP
Well, duh. I realize that, I'm just trying to get a feel for what is concidered normal. Obviously, I'll have to just wait it and see it's just I'm not used to using kino at all and I'm not very good I reading women's singals. I'm still an RAFC.