Field report and a Thank You DJs .

[The Diver]

Hi guys the DJs . I'm following this site for quite a while now, and learned heaps of good advices. In the last 4 years,my main interaction with women is DOL sites, and lately, after composing a smashing profile, with great photos (I'm 170cm 63kg ,lean, with athletic look) I started getting a good amount of contact requests from woman.
Since I changed my profile I secured three dates, and would like to outline the event with one of them , which was a challenging and a great learning curve for me, where I implement what I have learn here from you guys.

So here we go:
Me and her exchanged a few messages online, and then had one chat on the phone, where I gave here the impression that I have a busy, fun life and that I'm dating other girls. At the end of the chat I GAVE here two days to chose from, to have a date.(my old AFC , would have asked her which days she's free) She declined both days and said MAYBE next week. I immediately offered one night for the following week ,and stated that this is my only free night, (my old AFC would have asked here to let me know when she's free) she said SHE'LL THINK about it. After two days she send online message " I'm busy this day, PICK UP ANOTHER DAY". I went NC, and after two days deleted her contact from my online site.(my old AFC would have continued chasing her like an idiot)

Now come the fun part,where you can see the change in her attitude.
(Let's say her name is Sue)

Two days after I deleted her contact online she send me a text to my phone:
She: The Diver where are you? why did you deleted me?
Me: No answer (my old AFC will try to explain and justify my action)
She:I'm available next Wed', is it's suit you?
Me: Hi Sue , that cool, what's your address?
She: Are you going to pick me up?
Me:No, we're going to cook dinner together in your place.

Here she went silent for an hour, and than:
She: what are we going to make?
Me: My special seafood chowder. (I knew you're an adventurer woman, you're cool)
(I think you guys on SS called it to validate her)
She: Hahah , can we make it Tuesday? ( now ,me The Diver thinking, WTF, not again)
She: I forgot I have a class Wednesday, and I don't want to miss it. Seafood Chowder sound divine.
Me:You're very inconsistent babe,Tuesday is ok but make up your mind B'cos the shows keep going on in my life .
She: Yes, I had giving this a thought. I do know you have a tight schedule, Thank you.
Me: ok cool, so are we good for Tuesday 7pm?
She: yes.
Me: and your address is ?
She: (sent her address).

That it, closed, now let's wait and see if she'll flake.(I don't really care as I have other dates
( Abounding mindset ?) .

Now, I don't want to think how it would have gone in my old AFC days.
So thank you very much to all of you DJs , for putting so much effort and time, in making us all a better men, and I welcome any further advices regarding refining my game.
Cheers
(Btw, sorry for the foreigner accent hahah)

 

[sph21]

What do guys today do? We try to hide our strength and express our 'femininity'. Take an example of guys: early on in a relationship, they will show how 'great' they are by cooking for the woman!

As Anti-Dump said:

Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are YOU doing? Making spagetti?!?!?!

Your first date with her is showing her how good you are at cooking? What are you trying to show her? That you're a good feminine husband material?

my old AFC

You're putting too much emphasis on not being an AFC. It's as if these whole interactions are all about calculations & formulas.

Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize 'techniques', but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing each other for you.

A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.

None of us is perfect, so don’t try to act like you are the SupremeAlphaMaleOfTheUniverse. Women come equipped with state-of-the-art BS detectors and can smell posers a mile away. Don’t get so absorbed with not being “AFC” that you set off their “Poser Alert” and blow your chances.

You can make her believe that you are her best choice right now. But sooner or later, she will test you and these tests will show her who you really are inside. So, it is better to work on being an authentic man who has an awesome life. Being a DJ is hard. It's not like flipping a coin. You see what you're doing here? You're trying to impress her of someone you're not. You've been here for a while. Have you read these threads?

• Fifteen Lessons
• THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
• Kill that desperation!
• Be a Man!

Those threads helped me a lot in understanding the world and women. From time to time, I reread them just to remind me of what needed to be done or maybe I was missing something important and learn something new.

 

[The Diver]

Thanks sph21 for your feedback.
just to clarify, , I do have an awesome life, engaging in many different exciting and fun hobbies, and chasing girls "desperately" is not one of them, and I do believe my confidence and my mindset is authentic and genuine, and been a poser is actually cheating myself, which will be stupid to do.
The "my old AFC" is not b'cos I'm trying hard not to be AFC, it's just to explain the difference between what would have been my answer in the past (which would have been needy and desperate) to the current answer, which is indifferent, aloof and confident, which is come from within.

Now, about the cooking,,,, I hope I didn't blown it here,,, but she knows I'm not looking for anything serious here, (Good husband material ? no way, not me, and definitely not my intention, ever) and my aim here is to do something fun TOGETHER ,( definitely not me cooking for her), and steering the interaction to the sexual side of it.Well ,now I'll have to see how it'll go, and learn from it.
Thanks for the links, I did read them , will read them again.
Cheers

 

[derby1]

nothing wrong with cooking for a woman at all....if thats his skill thats his skill......................however theres a way of handling it...ie you do it together you LEAD she FOLLOWS...........she dont sit on her fat ass and watch.....she joins in....otherwise i agree with original reply shell think shes lady of the manor

 

[The Duke]

Nice job! Keep up the good work.

 

[The Diver]

nothing wrong with cooking for a woman at all....if thats his skill thats his skill......................however theres a way of handling it...ie you do it together you LEAD she FOLLOWS...........she dont sit on her fat ass and watch.....she joins in....otherwise i agree with original reply shell think shes lady of the manor

Yea, that exactly how I plan to do it, leading her, giving her instructions, and keeping my dominance. Don't know why I worry suddenly, thinking about it now, I actually did it a few times before (but in my place). I'm so confidante in my masculinity, that it's not phase me to do a "Feminine " work without loosing frame.