"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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FIELD REPORT #4: Warning sign?

Marlimus

Senior Don Juan
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This experience threw me off.

I spy a chick in the college cafeteria. I grab a coffe and sit down across her. Totally relaxed.

Me: What are you reading?
Her: ______ for my biology major.
Me: A science major I presume?
Her: No, psych, actually.
Me: My name is ______ what's yours?
Her: ______.

Me: Listen, _____ lets grab a cup of coffee sometime.
Her: Uh, no thanks.
Me: No problem. See you later.

I get up to leave
Her: It was nice meeting you!
Me: Yeah, right!
Her: No, seriously, you came right up to me. Just like you came right up to us last week.
Me: When was that?
Her: Just last week.
Me: And your friend's name was?
Her: Katie?
Me: (Shaking my head) Iknow too many people by that name. Later.

I walk away at first, but my curiousity overcomes me. I go back.
Me; Is that a good thing or a bad thing? What did you mean by that comment?
Her: I don't know what you're talking about. I have to study.
----------End of interaction-------------------

This has happened before. I bump into the same girls over and over without remembering them, and her comment disturbed me. I don't want to look like a shark who can't even remember half the chicks he's met (even if its the truth)
I need to work on my memory, because this has happened before. I met a girl at a party and passed her straight the next day because I forgot her. Now she thinks I'm an ******* or that I think she's not important. On such a small college campus, I need to make sure I don't get a bad rep.

Damn, this college campus is way too small.

I think my next set of field reports will focus on dates. Lord knows I have enough phone numbers. I need to switch from hunting to farming.

Marlimus out.
NorPacWolf, I would welcome your comments. Shezzler too.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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NorPacWolf

Senior Don Juan
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THERE'S STILL A LONG WAY TO GO

"This experience threw me off.

I spy a chick in the college cafeteria. I grab a coffe and sit down across her. Totally relaxed.

Me: What are you reading?
Her: ______ for my biology major.
Me: A science major I presume?
Her: No, psych, actually.
Me: My name is ______ what's yours?
Her: ______.

Me: Listen, _____ lets grab a cup of coffee sometime.
Her: Uh, no thanks."

---I have to repeat my suggestions from my previous post. You're definitely trying to close too fast. That's why you can't remember these girl's faces. Take some time to learn something about your target. Ask questions as a way of qualifying her. Also, find some way to kino her. A handshake during an initial introduction is fine. In addition, look for buying signals and IOI's during the interaction: does she stare intently? Does she kino you back, or better yet, initiate kino? Does she ask you what your name is? Does she hit you or squeeze your hand while you shake hands? Is she giggling like a giddy schoolgirl? Do her cheeks flush red? If so, keep escalating the kino. Also, only suggest a future meeting AFTER you get at least one, or better yet, several of these IOI's.

My recommendation is that you pick up a copy of The Game by Neil Strauss. Pickup is a game of tremendous sophistication nowadays and to be honest, DJ Bootcamp is no longer a 'state of the art' document. DJBC is still very, very useful in helping individuals get over their fear of the approach, but it's not terribly useful in developing a bridge between your approach/opener and the close.

Keep reading, keep up the field work, and keep posting FR's. We're rooting for you.

NorPacWolf
 

So pimp its scary

Master Don Juan
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Man, that's good that you approached...but you didn't deal with the issue fully, and should have been done instantly.

Try to keep better track of the chicks you hit on.

You are definately going for too quick of a close for what your asking for.

Me: What are you reading?
Her: ______ for my biology major.
Me: A science major I presume?
Her: No, psych, actually.
Here's where I step in, it's good to here.

ME : oh... do you plan to open your own practise
her : *eventually leading to* I'm studying right now
me: ok, when are you finished studying?
Her: an hour
me : ok, I'll be at __ coffee shop at __, meet me there so we can finish this conversation.
her :eek:k
----------

Now that doesn't solve your issue of hitting on this girl last week... she probly shot you down last week too... or you were too busy hitting on her friend last time.
 

biker_gixxer

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I walk away at first, but my curiousity overcomes me. I go back

I would of kept walking bro, you seem clingy if you go back.

I agree with 'So Pimp', you are closing way to fast. Take a few minutes to chat, get some chemistry going, try to build some attraction, flirt a little. Once you guys are vibing and you can feel that she's interested, that is when you get up to leave, but not before getting her number or setting up a coffee date.

Nice job on the approach by the way...
 

SevenOne9

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To the OP -- you lacked rapport. That was your main and biggest problem.

They key is too strike up 'feelings' within her.

You went in too fast; its like you were in a hurry. Try to 'branch' the convo next time.

Nothing came out of it because she didn't strike you as interesting enough to hold her attention.

Let me also add, she's the one who's supposed to be curious about YOU, not the other way around...

Now, if you were just doing this as a bootcamp practice-- i'd understand.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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