Field Report#13 : Date with Young Girl at Tim Hortons

[Ryan]

Read the whole thing:

1) The Girl

• 18 year old College Freshman
• Type-->> Quiet Loner, but relatively confident
• Looks: 7 (yeah im improving lol.)
• Slightly mental: Claimed to being overly paranoid, and anxious (panic attacks)

2) How we met

• Standard routine..we matched on Bumble, a few messages, I told her I wanted to go the museum and she said 'we should go' (interest?), then I escalated to text
• We originally planned on meeting on wednesday to go to the musuem, but I called her last night, and thought Id ask her for tea after work tonight.
• Conversation was decent: she told me her parents died (after I asked her if she lives with her aunt), I shared with her my tragedy, then we decided that I was going to pick her up after work.

3) The date

• I show up on time -->> I am on the phone with another 'plate' while waiting for her to change out of her work uniform, as soon as I see her getting into the car, I tell plate "I gotta go I will call you later" , but the funny thing was while she was greeting me I did not hang up on plate yet (so plate could of heard? but thats not what this thread is about)
  
• She gets in the car, we drive to Tim Hortons (coffeeshop), I ask about how was work, she says it was boring. In the car she asks me if I have been on a date since moving to the city before, I said "yes but there was no connection". I returned the question to her and she says I'm her first OLD date, I reply " I am honored" , she retorts "you should be". She said some other guy asked her to hang out with her, but he was creepy.
• 
  
• At Tim Hortons, we get tea (interesting enough she offers to pay, but I insist lol) I sit next to her (french style), the whole time im thinking when I should put my arm around her...there were some silent pauses, but I didnt feel entirely comfortable, felt a bit intimidated. I didn't get her humour etc (even asked what she thinks the funniest comedy is )
• 
  
• I did put my arm around her, but not her body but the top of the booth. She mentioned how creepy the other guy was on bumble...so this decreased my motivation to escalate. But when I did put my arm around her, I didn't notice any resistance.
• 
  
• I made a mental note to end the date first, so when she came back from the washroom, I was like you want to head out? She was like 'Its up to you'...then I was like yeah its late (near 11pm), and we made our way to the car.
• 
  
• Car ride home: She gave me her address, which I put into the GPS, and then drove her to her house (she lives in a rich neighbourhood) pull up at her house thinking we could chat in the car a bit, I put on chapstick and offer her some?

She tries to fake my accent and says" Ohh you think your going to get a kiss at the end of the date?", she then says:

" I only kiss on the cheek Im boring", she gives me a peck on the cheek, then I said you missed the other cheek, and she said you only get one kiss per a date lol

• She says thank you for the tea, and have a great night.

I dont think I had stronger frame on the date.


4) Aftermath

• Should i wait until Thursday to go to the museum? or try to ask her out for Tuesday?
• I mean aside from my place, what is a kino conducive activity?

Ok so rate and critique?

Please if you haven't gotten laid in the past three months, dont bother replying.

Thank you for your time. If you need anymore information just ask.


Question: Is it bad to think about your 'plates' when you masturbate?

________________________________________________________________________________

What I did well:

• Initiated the end of the date (false time constraint)
• Told some funny stories / made her laugh
• Stared into her eyes

Mistakes I committed:

• Stuttered (cant help that)
• Escalated too slow: never put arm around her
• No "boyfriending" moves: I should of done some bf moves, wipe away hair off her arm, cater to her, dry off her sweater when she spilt tea on it.
• Not playful and sexual enough---> some one please show me?

What I will do next time:

• Put my arm around her body---not the furniture surrounding her body
• Escalate----> guage reaction----> green light? keep escalating
• <<please add>>

Oh and please do the poll http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/personal-study-please-participate-in-the-poll.248714/

@Amante Silvestre

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! @Igetit! @3agle3yes @MrWood @dude99 @RangerMIke @marmel75
@logicallefty @VladPatton @sph21 @Alvafe @Mauser96@Julian @JohnChops @Mazer @Desdinova @sph21 @MidnightCity @deesade @guru1000 @Dash Riprock @ubercat @Murkserious @Poonani Maker @NSX-R @Knight of Roses @skinnyguy @wifehunter @AJ84

 

[Skyline]

I think you were/are, overthinking this.

She's obviously interested if she went on a date with you in the first place, let alone a last minute one.

Why are you sitting next to her? Sit across from her.. The thing about 'staring someone in the eyes' is that it comes off as creepy. You should only be giving her direct eye contact in relation to how much she is giving you. Very similar to a job interview.

Sitting next to her and staring her down? Come on...

I personally think that kino is overrated. The whole point of kino is to not be afraid to touch her in general. The situations that would be acceptable to use them in is really up to you. Touching her a bunch of times isn't going to make her like you more than the guy who has a strong frame and can smooth talk.

I would say that it looks like she just wanted to have some fun. I feel like she was being playful but it seems like it went over your head. You were definitely overthinking on the date which kind of hampered your ability to banter back.

You can tell all the funny stories you want but if you don't connect with her then you aren't going anywhere. The way I do it is by being warm and adapting my judgement based on what she likes or how I perceive her to be. You could have talked about why she has panic attacks/anxiety and then relate to that.

The "boyfriend moves," don't do that. Just be natural. Kino/actions are great but it's only as great as how strong your words are...

I do agree that the frame was definitely in her favor, she even gave you chances to challenge it... I personally would keep her in rotation, she seems like a girl I would date.

I would just go ghost until the day of the museum date. I mean it's literally only 2 days... If she breaks ghost within those days, then you can do whatever. If you don't want to go then just reschedule.

 

[AJ84]

Read the whole thing:

1) The Girl

• 18 year old College Freshman
• Type-->> Quiet Loner, but relatively confident
• Looks: 7 (yeah im improving lol.)
• Slightly mental: Claimed to being overly paranoid, and anxious (panic attacks)

2) How we met

• Standard routine..we matched on Bumble, a few messages, I told her I wanted to go the museum and she said 'we should go' (interest?), then I escalated to text
• We originally planned on meeting on wednesday to go to the musuem, but I called her last night, and thought Id ask her for tea after work tonight.
• Conversation was decent: she told me her parents died (after I asked her if she lives with her aunt), I shared with her my tragedy, then we decided that I was going to pick her up after work.

3) The date

• I show up on time -->> I am on the phone with another 'plate' while waiting for her to change out of her work uniform, as soon as I see her getting into the car, I tell plate "I gotta go I will call you later" , but the funny thing was while she was greeting me I did not hang up on plate yet (so plate could of heard? but thats not what this thread is about)
  
• She gets in the car, we drive to Tim Hortons (coffeeshop), I ask about how was work, she says it was boring. In the car she asks me if I have been on a date since moving to the city before, I said "yes but there was no connection". I returned the question to her and she says I'm her first OLD date, I reply " I am honored" , she retorts "you should be". She said some other guy asked her to hang out with her, but he was creepy.
• 
  
• At Tim Hortons, we get tea (interesting enough she offers to pay, but I insist lol) I sit next to her (french style), the whole time im thinking when I should put my arm around her...there were some silent pauses, but I didnt feel entirely comfortable, felt a bit intimidated. I didn't get her humour etc (even asked what she thinks the funniest comedy is )
• 
  
• I did put my arm around her, but not her body but the top of the booth. She mentioned how creepy the other guy was on bumble...so this decreased my motivation to escalate. But when I did put my arm around her, I didn't notice any resistance.
• 
  
• I made a mental note to end the date first, so when she came back from the washroom, I was like you want to head out? She was like 'Its up to you'...then I was like yeah its late (near 11pm), and we made our way to the car.
• 
  
• Car ride home: She gave me her address, which I put into the GPS, and then drove her to her house (she lives in a rich neighbourhood) pull up at her house thinking we could chat in the car a bit, I put on chapstick and offer her some?

She tries to fake my accent and says" Ohh you think your going to get a kiss at the end of the date?", she then says:

" I only kiss on the cheek Im boring", she gives me a peck on the cheek, then I said you missed the other cheek, and she said you only get one kiss per a date lol

• She says thank you for the tea, and have a great night.

I dont think I had stronger frame on the date.


4) Aftermath

• Should i wait until Thursday to go to the museum? or try to ask her out for Tuesday?
• I mean aside from my place, what is a kino conducive activity?

Ok so rate and critique?

Please if you haven't gotten laid in the past three months, dont bother replying.

Thank you for your time. If you need anymore information just ask.


Question: Is it bad to think about your 'plates' when you masturbate?

________________________________________________________________________________

What I did well:

• Initiated the end of the date (false time constraint)
• Told some funny stories / made her laugh
• Stared into her eyes

Mistakes I committed:

• Stuttered (cant help that)
• Escalated too slow: never put arm around her
• No "boyfriending" moves: I should of done some bf moves, wipe away hair off her arm, cater to her, dry off her sweater when she spilt tea on it.
• Not playful and sexual enough---> some one please show me?

What I will do next time:

• Put my arm around her body---not the furniture surrounding her body
• Escalate----> guage reaction----> green light? keep escalating
• <<please add>>

Oh and please do the poll http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/personal-study-please-participate-in-the-poll.248714/

@Amante Silvestre

@ImTheDoubleGreatest! @Igetit! @3agle3yes @MrWood @dude99 @RangerMIke @marmel75
@logicallefty @VladPatton @sph21 @Alvafe @Mauser96@Julian @JohnChops @Mazer @Desdinova @sph21 @MidnightCity @deesade @guru1000 @Dash Riprock @ubercat @Murkserious @Poonani Maker @NSX-R @Knight of Roses @skinnyguy @wifehunter @AJ84

It sounds like the conversation went well and there's some interest but TIm Hortons doesn't have a nice Cafe environment. It's like Dunkin Donuts in the states. The lighting is brighter, busy, kids families etc.

The evironmemt honestly affects the mood and if you want to escalate with some flirting touching etc Tim Horton's is not conducive for that.

Not sure where you live in Canada and but Second Cup or even Star Yucks has a better atmosphere than Tim Hortons, or even just grabbing a tea from Tim's but going to a park bench and sitting there.

She can't go for drinks at 18 but after the museum suggest a nicer cafe or a walk somewhere.

If you're in Toronto and it's the ROM that you are going theres a cafe there but there's a few other places to go around the area and you definitely want to do something after the museum.

 

[MrWood]

i cant remember the last time I put my arm around a girl on a date... mby I was 16?
kino happens while you are talking... touch her arm when you laugh together, usher her through a door with your hand on the small of her back
tap her leg "what!?" like shes in trouble when she said

she retorts "you should be".

for example...

 

[Ryan]

i cant remember the last time I put my arm around a girl on a date... mby I was 16?
kino happens while you are talking... touch her arm when you laugh together, usher her through a door with your hand on the small of her back
tap her leg "what!?" like shes in trouble when she said

for example...

Too creepy to put your arm around a girl??

 

[skinnyguy]

Connecting emotionally with chicks is key. Good thing you shared your story.

Try to be more funny and lighthearted. On my date with an HB 9 on Sunday, I was on my game when I got her laughing because it made her comfortable.

You don’t like alcohol on the first date?

 

[wifehunter]

Try focusing on the date. Example: Do something you like, not something she likes. Take her along, if she enjoys it, great.

Chicks are an accessory. Like a good watch.

Remember... you are the prize.

BTW, if you're doing something you like, you be on your turf, which is exactly where you want her.

Another thing... if you're out where THEY are... 'insta-I just met you dates' are a thing, too. You just need chicks along your path.

 

[Ryan]

Connecting emotionally with chicks is key. Good thing you shared your story.

Try to be more funny and lighthearted. On my date with an HB 9 on Sunday, I was on my game when I got her laughing because it made her comfortable.

You don’t like alcohol on the first date?

Shes too young to drink lol

@MrWood said its bad to put your arm around a girl on date....is this true?

Connecting emotionally.........how though?

@skinnyguy

 

[Ryan]

Try focusing on the date. Example: Do something you like, not something she likes. Take her along, if she enjoys it, great.

Chicks are an accessory. Like a good watch.

Remember... you are the prize.

BTW, if you're doing something you like, you be on your turf, which is exactly where you want her.

Another thing... if you're out where THEY are... 'insta-I just met you dates' are a thing, too. You just need chicks along your path.

It was a first date late on a sunday night.......only coffee shops open...

 

[MrWood]

you put your arm around... her shoulders/neck yes?

 

[Ryan]

you put your arm around... her shoulders/neck yes?

but its ok to put around waist right? @MrWood