fiance driving me nuts.

[mysterymanelp]

My fiance and I went out to the store to pickup some pillows and stuff. While in checkout there was this girl right in front of us maybe about 23 or 24 nice body really good looking. I dont pay this girl any attention. While getting in the car my fiance is a little mad and says did u like that girl in front of us or what. I tell her no matter what I do u get mad if I do look at them or if i dont look at them. She stays quite and doesnt say anything.

Has this happend to any of you guys out there and what did u do?

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Hah - Welcome to the rest of your life, unless you put a stop to her behavior now.

 

[mysterymanelp]

I have tried a thousand times there is no way possible that I am able to stop her behavior. My only hope is to let her go, but I'm having a hard time letting her know how I feel.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I just got out of a 5-year relationship. I know what you're going through.

I had to let her give me the marriage ultimatum and I didn't reply. That let her know my answer.

You need to think about your future and how you envision it.

 

[WestCoaster]

The key word here is "fiance" not ...

... WIFE, meaning you can get the he-l out right now if you want.

Well, my dad married at your age and did well, but that was a long time ago when women actually had class, diginity, and morals -- and they respected their husband. In today's world at 26, there's no reason to get married unless you have no intention on ever getting it on with or having fun with another woman. My suggestion -- of course -- is to play the field like no tomorrow until you're 30, then re-assess things.

Got news for you: It will only get worse once you get married.

Get out while you can. She's just another woman who can be replaced. You have oneitis.

 

[mysterymanelp]

thats my problem. I wannna get back into the playing field really bad. I can taste it in my mouth.I just gotta think of a way to let her know that I'm ready to get out. I have told her a couple of times that I wanna get out, but she starts crying and that is when I feel bad and tell her that we can give it a try.

 

[WestCoaster]

Let her cry

It may be sad for her, but it's probably best for both parties. Once you think about it logically as in you want to sow your wild oats, she wants a man she can control, well you're both better off. Heck, you're already looking around!

She'd cry for awhile, be depressed for awhile, so what? Everyone breaks up. What's best for both parties -- from my limited vantage point -- is for both of you to find more compatable partners. Or perhaps you're compatable but the timing is off.

Funny, a guy my best friend works with got divorced after being married in his mid-20's. He got divorced at 29, no kids. Wifey was upset for a little while but he realized they weren't made for each other. She got re-married and is happier, he's b-ngning young gals left and right. Both are happy. Breaking up usually sucks, but often it's good for both parties.

Don't let her immediate tears ruin your future happiness.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Start cheating on her and get caught. That solves both problems - she will then leave you and you will have started playing the field.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: Let her cry

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Don't let her immediate tears ruin your future happiness.

My good buddy let that happen. Relented and decided to marry her. Divorced 5 years later and she took half his life savings - approximately $250,000 and was a complete abusive ***** and always accusing him of this and that.

 

[CharmaLeo]

When the tears roll that's when women are at their strongest. Things will not change 'cause damned if you do, damned if you don't . There's not a way to please and placate this kind of woman.
Eventually you are going to be too unhappy and pisssed to even keep trying. Things will blow up and she will part with half or your shyt if not more.
So run while you can. She will cry in your presence but believe me she'll get over it.

 

[WestCoaster]

Re: Re: Let her cry, part II

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
My good buddy let that happen. Relented and decided to marry her. Divorced 5 years later and she took half his life savings - approximately $250,000 and was a complete abusive ***** and always accusing him of this and that.

Scary, scary, scary. These money-grubbing women/wife stories freak me out. I liked the one last week (I think too cold u. told it) about his friend who caught his wife cheating and now she's at 18K a year, while he's raking it in and she's divorced and stupid.

But more often than not, the women makes off like a bandit. Too bad if she cries for 10 minutes, or an hour, or two hours. Tough sh-t.

There are kids in cancer wards who won't live to 10 years old. I feel more sorry for them than some stupid broad who is going to milk you for all you got anyway.

 

[mysterymanelp]

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Start cheating on her and get caught. That solves both problems - she will then leave you and you will have started playing the field.

That is exactly what is going thru my mind. I figure if i cheat she will leave and I will be free.

 

[WestCoaster]

Or you could be a real man ...

... and not an AFC, grow some nads and actually politely break-up with her.

Why are men so afraid of breaking up with women? Don't be a wimp, be a man. Don't cheat, that's for AFCs and losers.

Grab your b-lls tonight, see if they're still there, check your testosterone level and make sure you're still a man, suck it up and break-up with her. Don't take advice on cheating. Anyone who has been cheated on knows how bad it sucks.

Plus, when you do that YOU'RE the loser, not her.

Have some respect ... as in respect yourself.

* Are you a MAN or a mouse ... squeak up!

 

[mysterymanelp]

That is pretty messed up. I am about to go home and tell her exactly how I feel, and let her know that I have been feeling this way for a very longtime. I dont think cheating is the right thing, because if it was me in her shoes I would want the truth.

thanks for the advice it made me sit back and do some thinking.

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by mysterymanelp
That is pretty messed up. I am about to go home and tell her exactly how I feel, and let her know that I have been feeling this way for a very longtime...

Good man. Please let us know how it goes, we're here for you

 

[WaterTiger]

Cut the cord....

She might cry like a baby, but she won't be very surprised by your decision to break up. If just "looking" at another girl can get you the silent treatment for the night, then she KNOWS she no longer has your full attention. She's hyper-sensitive, she knows you're looking at other women, and she knows WHY.

Break up with her. Don't let the tears stop you from doing it. The longer you two are together the more miserable you will make each other. Good luck.

 

[PlayaBoy]

wanna change her behaviour, just say - yeah i was checking her out, and 14 more you missed, so what?

do it every time she comments on that, and if she freaks out just act natural and calm and sitck to your guns.

dont buy into her discussions ever!!! speak in a soft, relaxed, confident tone, and dont worry about her making threats of leaving, passive agressive behaviour or whatever, just maintain your attitude.

if she does leave you then she´s not a normal person to begin with, and she´ll be doing you a big favour...

if you keep your witts EVERY TIME she will return to you a changed woman.

this knowledge applys to ALL things in a relationship...

 

[WestCoaster]

Don't change her, break up

Totally disagree on changing a woman. Women only change one way: for the worse.

You have to find a top, high quality, classy woman at the top of her game from the get-go. A low-rent, mean-spirited, game-playing woman is always going to be that way. She is not going to wake up some day and say, "Wait a sec, I'm going to change!"

Personal change is the hardest thing in the world for most people, especially women. They are who they are.

You have to front-load it: Get a quality woman from the get-go, don't do little mind games in trying to change her.

A woman usually gets meaner, fatter, and angrier. Few get nicer, fitter, smarter, and kinder.

Don't change, break up if she's not high quality from the get-go.

 

[mystic03]

Dump her crying @ss!!!

She won't be giving you another chance when she's the one that come up with the idea of breaking up....


And if this is the reason why you haven't broken up with her... give me a break ( I know it's hard) but you've got to think about your feelings too (or first)!!!!

 

[PlayaBoy]

thats a very good point WESTCOASTER, but i believe women´s behaviours do change for the better.

rather changing a woman´s behaviour, its all about changing YOUR own behaviour towards women. when you do this what happens is one of two thing: either the woman´s responses to your attitudes become a reflection of your own beliefs, and there is a positive shift in the relationship, or your beliefs arent strong enough, and you will fall into game-playing and conflict.

it´s 10 times better to do this from the get-go, as you said, but to many men attractive women are hard to come by...