Fiance cheated many times

[Ang]

We have been in a long distance relationship 8 yrs. Saw each other 6 to 9 months out of each year.

Became engaged. He moved closer to me to easily meet each other a few mobths ago but he said since we were having arguments (i wanted to see him more) that he never revealed his address..not a day has gone by that we havent spoken.

Hes been avoiding me and nows hes just told me hes been sexting with women and has had sex with 12 in the past 6 months.

He used to drink and he said because of issues with us (i have not seen him in 2 years!) That he replaced sex for drinking.

Now hes remorseful..he said the guilt is eating at him and he has dreams Hes going to hell..said all women were beautiful and older and were all married or engaged.

He said he did it out of anger. At first he told me perhaps he had a sex addiction and that we could go to counseling.

Now he said hes sorting it out and doesnt want to go.

We still have not physically seen each other because he says he cant face me. But at the same time says he loves me and wants to marry.

He says hes not the same man i took to the airport 2 years ago. That i deserve better. He said if I did what hes done he would dump me.

Im in so much shock. I love this man ..he was my future..the one i dreamed of amd the first person i thought of every morning.

Im trying to understand why he did this from a male perspective..

He said he had no guilt when he did this even after seeing me calling and calling on his phone.

He said he was angry and it was just rough sex with these women and it didnt mean anything..but at the same time he said some of them he got to know for months and even a couple years ..some gave him xmas gifts!

Should i believe hes sincere? Should I trust him? Im scarred..i dont feel beautiful.

Please give opinions..im shocked..i feel like im in.a nightmare.

 

[Ang]

You've taken a horrendous wrong turn on your way to the kitchen to end up here somehow.

Only joking.

I've had women that i've been going out with travelling to different parts of Europe (mass immigration and general times in which we find ourselves), and it's communication with clear plans and still thinking short term - otherwise it's just a complete nonsense.

If you've not got the short term covered, then you place him on the distant back burner. Simple.

So basically dump him?

 

[Atom Smasher]

...he said since we were having arguments (i wanted to see him more) that he never revealed his address..

What more do you need to know if the guy didn't even give you his address?

You need a dose of reality. You are in love not with the real person, but with your imaginary, idealized vision of who you wish he was.

Dump the loser and get out of fairy-tale land.

 

[Ang]

He says he wants to get married and that hes ashamed. He wants to make it up to me.

Is this a case of someone that needed to sow their oats before settling? A freind tells me thats what it was..and that I should look at the 2 year distance as if we were never truly together

 

[sazc]

Dump

 

[sazc]

He says he wants to get married and that hes ashamed. He wants to make it up to me.

Is this a case of someone that needed to sow their oats before settling? A freind tells me thats what it was..and that I should look at the 2 year distance as if we were never truly together

So anything anyone here advises you, you are going to come back with a "yeah, but" response? If you want to stay in the relationship, then stay in. I would have dumped him a long time ago

 

[Ang]

So hes damaged goods? Are you saying when a man does this...he will never change?

 

[Ang]

What more do you need to know if the guy didn't even give you his address?

You need a dose of reality. You are in love not with the real person, but with your imaginary, idealized vision of who you wish he was.

Dump the loser and get out of fairy-tale land.

 

[AJ84]

So hes damaged goods? Are you saying when a man does this...he will never change?

He repeatedly cheated on you and won’t tell you where he lives. He’s showing you his true self. It’s your choice to accept his true self or the fairytale you want to believe. What he’s saying means nothing, they’re just words. He had his fun and now wants his stable backup (you). If you marry this loser and he continues to cheat which he probably will, you have only yourself to blame for marrying a repeat cheater.

Reason four billion why long distance relationships don’t work.

 

[AJ84]

Every girl I know who took back a guy that cheated, got cheated on again. Every single one.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You quoted my post but did not add anything.

You need to understand that this guy will never change. The reason you’re online looking for an answer is that your gut tells you there is something wrong.

If he loved you, he would be making things happen with you. He is playing you. Get out while you can.

 

[lamath]

So hes damaged goods? Are you saying when a man does this...he will never change?

If you stay with him you will be the damage good

 

[sazc]

If you stay with him you will be the damage good

I think there's a good chance that this has already occurred......

 

[Desdinova]

If you stay with him you will be the damage good

She already is. She still wants to marry that piece of 5hit. And you know what? She will still want him when she's fvcking one if the giluys on this forum

One-itis is a terminal disease for women.

As for the OP, dump him. You can at least enjoy the attention of all the dudes you'll undoubtedly date after this guy.

 

[SoSuave666]

What more do you need to know if the guy didn't even give you his address?

You need a dose of reality. You are in love not with the real person, but with your imaginary, idealized vision of who you wish he was.

Dump the loser and get out of fairy-tale land.

We've found a woman with a scarcity mindset!!!!

JK OP I know it's hard. But what AS says is true: you have fallen for an idea of him. You are projecting your values onto a serial cheater. Dump the guy and don't ever look back.

 

[glass half full]

OP- If you take him back, you will have verified that you can't live without him, and worst of all, he will now think he can get away with anything in the future, because you let him this time. It's self explanatory.

 

[Spaz]

We have been in a long distance relationship 8 yrs. Saw each other 6 to 9 months out of each year.

Became engaged. He moved closer to me to easily meet each other a few mobths ago but he said since we were having arguments (i wanted to see him more) that he never revealed his address..not a day has gone by that we havent spoken.

Hes been avoiding me and nows hes just told me hes been sexting with women and has had sex with 12 in the past 6 months.

He used to drink and he said because of issues with us (i have not seen him in 2 years!) That he replaced sex for drinking.

Now hes remorseful..he said the guilt is eating at him and he has dreams Hes going to hell..said all women were beautiful and older and were all married or engaged.

He said he did it out of anger. At first he told me perhaps he had a sex addiction and that we could go to counseling.

Now he said hes sorting it out and doesnt want to go.

We still have not physically seen each other because he says he cant face me. But at the same time says he loves me and wants to marry.

He says hes not the same man i took to the airport 2 years ago. That i deserve better. He said if I did what hes done he would dump me.

Im in so much shock. I love this man ..he was my future..the one i dreamed of amd the first person i thought of every morning.

Im trying to understand why he did this from a male perspective..

He said he had no guilt when he did this even after seeing me calling and calling on his phone.

He said he was angry and it was just rough sex with these women and it didnt mean anything..but at the same time he said some of them he got to know for months and even a couple years ..some gave him xmas gifts!

Should i believe hes sincere? Should I trust him? Im scarred..i dont feel beautiful.

Please give opinions..im shocked..i feel like im in.a nightmare.

This man has no integrity, honor and bravery.

Sure a man must sow his oats with the idea of getting the best possible mate but there's lines that one does not cross lest it destroys the man's soul in the long run.

Ur man is not a playboy par excellence but a deeply confused individual with plenty of insecurities.

You as a woman must know when to stop ur inherent ability to manipulate a man into ur life when he displays a shocking lack of integrity - all women has this ability but somehow due to their own insecurity allows toxicity to fester on.