Few questions on high interest then nothing.

[Anonymous56]

Ok...I have been going out a lot and just trying to have a good time. In the process, every time I have gone out over the last month or so, I have had an above average girl pretty much all over me for that night. I didn't go any farther then kissing any of these girls but they always gave me their numbers without me even asking. However, when I call them 4 or 5 days later to set something up for that weekend they either flake or just say they call me back and don't.

Does this happen often? It doesn't really bother me that much because I know I can go out and find more girls. However, I haven't really had anything more than one night with any girl this whole year.

Maybe I am just meeting the wrong girls?? I guess this is just part of the process.

 

[ematsuda]

that sounds odd. You must be doing something wrong on the phone. Are you keeping those conversations short and to the point? Your job on the phone is to set up a date, so keep the small talk short. The whole call should go no longer than 5 minutes tops! That could be the only thing I can see since they offer you their numbers which shows high IL.

Why you are not getting a 2nd date can be a whole lot of things for that. Basically, very basically, you messed up on the 1st date and that's why you're not getting the 2nd.

 

[Anonymous56]

These werent dates..the scenarios are I show up at a party.. THE GIRLS APPROACH ME! All 3 times this month. We dance and **** (well in reality pretty much sex with our clothes on). LOTS of touchy feely. Constant ass grabbing..constant leg stroking. All these girls were above average to well above average.

When I call its just to see what they are doing. I talked on the phone with one of the girls for 45 seconds. Here is my theory:

I think these girls were a little slutty..they probably already found some other dude in the 4-5 days that I didn't see them. I know one of them for a fact was a big slut. I didnt know that until after I met her. Who knows....

 

[Anonymous56]

I think what I need to start doing is taking them back to my place the night that I meet them. I never do that....I usually just settle for a number.

 

[ali_g]

There are many scenarios possible here:

- they were never interested in the first place. They had drunk a bit much and were just out to flirt and have a good time (which a lot of hot looking girls do).

- they're interested but are throwing tests at you, to see how interested you are. This is when you need to have a combination of patience and persistence when dealing with them. I still agree with Ematsuda in that you should only use the phone for arranging dates and stay on 5 mins tops.

- their interest is dropping due to your phone game. You are either saying things like "It's sooo good to speak to you again" or simply chatting too long or being too open and failing to arrange a date over the phone (at 1st never call just to find out how they're going).

- their interest dropped over that night because you told them too much about yourself or you couldn't keep your hands away from them or spent too much time hanging around them. Maybe they were happy with the attention that you gave them more than them being interested.

I don't know which one it is, only you know what happened. Hopefully you can work out which scenario it is: yes it can be hard to figure out some women.

 

[Anonymous56]

Ill take this

"they were never interested in the first place. They had drunk a bit much and were just out to flirt and have a good time (which a lot of hot looking girls do).
"

The other ones are definately not it. I did kiss these girls though. I guess that counts for something.

I hate to use the drunk thing as a reason because I get real drunk sometimes. But no matter how drunk I get I always can tell if I want someone or not.

Also its not like im an ugly guy. I am a tall, athletic guy (6 5) and people tell me I have a pretty handsome face.

Ill keep at it though...last year I never went out and never met any girls. Atleast now adays I can do that. Baby steps my friend...baby steps. Its tough being a late bloomer sometimes.

 

[seasonedplayer]

I am not taking the p*ss out of you, also I do not know you but your problem could be that you are too good and too smart. Girls that meet good looking guys in clubs will get onto them when they have had a couple of drinks or on the first meeting. However, when it comes down to it, they will be too insecure to show interest in you or they know that a guy like you has power over them. So they back off.

 

[ali_g]

Suppose Seasonplayer is right, a little confident persistence may be the technique to employ here.

If they've rejected you once, wait a week or two try again ... (no 20 min chit chats on the phone) and ask them out again. If they reject you twice or three times or cancel on you twice, they're definitely not interested. I find that you get your answer of whether they're disinterested or acting hard to get from the second or third attempt, not the first one; providing that you're not too eager ******.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Yeah, it's possible to over DJ some of the ladies. It's amazing how many of them have really low self esteem - even the good looking ones!

I can't begin to tell you how many good looking chicks are going out with losers. Not jerks, but losers - drugs, dead end jobs as waiters/bartenders. It's unreal. I think they really don't know what to do with a real man that:

a) is in shape
b) has class
c) Looks good
d) has a good job
e) is a man
f) has CONFIDENCE

because there are so few of us. I'm really starting to believe, during my transformation so far, that some women cannot handle this and will shy away.

 

[Chemistry]

Well, you can't over DJ a lady... you do too much and don't DJ her properly... I mean part of the whole DJ is, in short, gettin what you want from it all, so if you're not then you ain't DJin her... I mean if you exert the DJ characteristic of 'confidence' too much, then you leave the realms of the DJ and become an arrogant prick to these girls / ladies...

But barring this and the other suggestions thrown around in the thread, some of which I agree with, and some of which I don't... these girls may just be out for a good time... I get the impression that all involved are relatively young, so they're more than happy to be enjoyin themselves each week and seein' whats up...

Alternatively they may just like the attention... yeah, they're interested in you... but they're also interested in Mr. X, Mr. Y, and Mr. Z who they met on subsequent nights but they don't want to settle with any of them, because next Saturday Mr. A comes onto the scene, and the following night out, Mr. B comes onto the scene... attention ***** is a little harsh, she's young, free and enjoyin it...

What you want to do is attempt to close it there and then... see what you can get from her that night, THEN take that number and then see what's up... now if you sleep with her then it probably won't bode well for anythin long term but if you don't want that, and are stretchin things out over 3 dates or so just so you can get sex, then this would be the ideal...

 

[uniassign]

You need rapport. These girls are attracted to you, but you need to make them feel comfortable.

You need to spend time on the phone, or when you met them, to really get to know them and them to know you.

Think about it, chicks have ASD. What are they going to tell their friends? Hi, I am going to meet this guy I met at a bar last night. I don't really know what he does, or what his last name is. But I am meeting him because he is hot.

NO. That's why chicks ask you lameo questions like: what's your name, what do you do etc.

I think if you spend some time during the initial meet to let them get to know you, your chances of flaking will decrease.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Sorry to say this but that 5 min call is DUMB. That's like me meeting up some dude at a party and then I give the guy a call and go "Yo let's go snowboarding 3 days from now" ! Most likely he will say no cause he doesn't know who da hell I am! Same deal with girls. Talk for at least 30 min..build rapport.. So called DJs say cutting it short claim it will make you mysterious and stuff.. UHHH NOPE if she doesn't know you well enough she won't like you well enough to hang out. The 5 min thing works if you are good looking like an 8 (brad pitt or orlando bloom level) but if you're just an average/ugly joe.. you gotta win her with your personality.

I tried the 5-10 min call thing and IT NEVER WORKS. When a girl flaked out on me once, I knew she did not trust me. So I called her 10 days later and we talked for 2 hours, I didn't setup a date. A week later SHE CALLED and setup a date.

Why are you calling 4-5 days later? Who the hell setup that rule is DUMB. Just call back the next day - preferably leave a voicemail and tell her you had a good time and for her to call you back if she feels like talking to you. If she picks up the phone, then proceed on talking. Don't setup a date though.. till later on.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Anonymous56
I think what I need to start doing is taking them back to my place the night that I meet them. I never do that....I usually just settle for a number.

now you're getting it. strike when the iron is hot with these chicks because someone else will.

this is assuming they are slvts, as you've said, and asumming you want to have sex with slvts, which is your choice.

 

[Anonymous56]

Thanks for the replies...one of the girls actually just called me 3 days after I called her (I called to see if we could do something last week and she said she called me back (she never did)).

Were on spring break but I have to stay at my university for sports reasons. She is at home on spring break.

She sounded like she wanted to talk on the phone but I just kept it short and busted on her for not calling me back the other night.

I really just HATE talking on the phone...I am more of a talk in person guy, especially when Ive only spent a few hours with someone.

 

[ali_g]

Yep I agree. None of this yap on the phone BS.

You want to see them in person and the only way to entice them to do it is to keep your call short and ask them out.