Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 834
- Reaction score
- 131
I've come here for quite some time b/c this forum is one of the only places to receive guidance on what it means to be a man in the 21st century. I was fortunate enough to discover this forum years ago, and unplugged from the matrix in my early 20's. As I'm sure many of you can relate, I initially went too far in the opposite direction and developed a somewhat unhealthy habit of using women and justifying it to myself by believing they were of lesser integrity than men.
Now I've tempered my views a bit and am trying to reconcile a lot of the things we talk about with a more positive outlook and genuine empathy for women. After all, for every story we read about where a women cuckolds an AFC that remained loving and loyal throughout a marriage, there are just as many (if not more) instances of a man of power cheating on his servile wife. I think the point is to hold women to the same standards of accountability as those of men, not to espouse their gender as inherently lacking morals.
Which brings me to my question: Does the "feminization" of America really exist? And if it does, does it really threaten us men?
The way I see it, feminism is no longer a force to be reckoned with. It is no longer shocking because so many basic tenets have been absorbed by society: equality in the workplace, etc. At the same time, all of the more radical notions presented by feminists have been wholeheartedly kicked to the curb, even by most women. I believe we are currently in an era where post-feminist beliefs dominate the culture. This is evident in popular psychology, where sex differences have finally been acknowledged as fact, thus rendering the goal of "one gender" impossible. Nature is now seen as more important than nurture in many issues, and we've learned that certain gender roles are inescapable.
As these beliefs have trickled down the intellectual hierarchy, pop culture has returned to embracing traditional roles for men and women (that is, after the horrible failure of the 'metrosexual' movement). It is now not uncommon to see very good and accurate dating advice that is in line with what we talk about here on the front page of internet portals such as Yahoo!
Sure, there's the odd movie or sitcom that showcases AFC behavior, but there's also an emphasis on hiring beautiful women for these projects, so one can really argue that feminism is at play. The few instances where an aging woman in Hollywood marries a much younger man get talked about as if it due to a paradigm shift, but it is widely acknowledged that a woman's sexual desirability decreases much more rapidly with age than a man's, and girls still continue to find older men sexy without any wish to "level the playing field," as it were. If women really control our culture, it is only through the deferment of men, since less than 3% of Fortune 500 CEO's are women.
Point is, women are at a huge disadvantage in America, and it seems almost petty to view women, even radical separatist feminists, as threatening our happiness. If anything, the feminist movement brought us men some great gifts: It is now MUCH easier to find a well educated, self sufficient, sexually comfortable woman that will want you for YOU, not for your material wealth. If you ask me, I hope there continues to be MORE "feminists" and LESS women that resort to using their sexuality on AFC's to get their way, or read crap like "The Rules" to trick a man into marrying them, or play into the "helpless woman" stereotype to rationalize infidelity on her part. As much as these stories are perceived to be common, these tactics are not representative of an entire gender any more than the weak, spineless AFC is for ours, and they should not be accepted as "just the way women are." The real fear for us should not be the "feminization" of society--it should be the refusal on the part of us men to hold women to the same moral code.
Now I've tempered my views a bit and am trying to reconcile a lot of the things we talk about with a more positive outlook and genuine empathy for women. After all, for every story we read about where a women cuckolds an AFC that remained loving and loyal throughout a marriage, there are just as many (if not more) instances of a man of power cheating on his servile wife. I think the point is to hold women to the same standards of accountability as those of men, not to espouse their gender as inherently lacking morals.
Which brings me to my question: Does the "feminization" of America really exist? And if it does, does it really threaten us men?
The way I see it, feminism is no longer a force to be reckoned with. It is no longer shocking because so many basic tenets have been absorbed by society: equality in the workplace, etc. At the same time, all of the more radical notions presented by feminists have been wholeheartedly kicked to the curb, even by most women. I believe we are currently in an era where post-feminist beliefs dominate the culture. This is evident in popular psychology, where sex differences have finally been acknowledged as fact, thus rendering the goal of "one gender" impossible. Nature is now seen as more important than nurture in many issues, and we've learned that certain gender roles are inescapable.
As these beliefs have trickled down the intellectual hierarchy, pop culture has returned to embracing traditional roles for men and women (that is, after the horrible failure of the 'metrosexual' movement). It is now not uncommon to see very good and accurate dating advice that is in line with what we talk about here on the front page of internet portals such as Yahoo!
Sure, there's the odd movie or sitcom that showcases AFC behavior, but there's also an emphasis on hiring beautiful women for these projects, so one can really argue that feminism is at play. The few instances where an aging woman in Hollywood marries a much younger man get talked about as if it due to a paradigm shift, but it is widely acknowledged that a woman's sexual desirability decreases much more rapidly with age than a man's, and girls still continue to find older men sexy without any wish to "level the playing field," as it were. If women really control our culture, it is only through the deferment of men, since less than 3% of Fortune 500 CEO's are women.
Point is, women are at a huge disadvantage in America, and it seems almost petty to view women, even radical separatist feminists, as threatening our happiness. If anything, the feminist movement brought us men some great gifts: It is now MUCH easier to find a well educated, self sufficient, sexually comfortable woman that will want you for YOU, not for your material wealth. If you ask me, I hope there continues to be MORE "feminists" and LESS women that resort to using their sexuality on AFC's to get their way, or read crap like "The Rules" to trick a man into marrying them, or play into the "helpless woman" stereotype to rationalize infidelity on her part. As much as these stories are perceived to be common, these tactics are not representative of an entire gender any more than the weak, spineless AFC is for ours, and they should not be accepted as "just the way women are." The real fear for us should not be the "feminization" of society--it should be the refusal on the part of us men to hold women to the same moral code.
