Feminist blogger says that nice guys do succeed better (esp. nerds)

[MatureDJ]

http://feministx.blogspot.com/2009/05/nice-guy-game.html

Yes Virginia, there is a nice guy game. But you won't hear about it from guys like Doc Love or Roissy, because part of their internet success depends on their maintenance of unbending tough guy personalities.

I suppose some may be skeptical towards a woman that advises anything short of ice hearted caddishness towards women, but hear me out. Guys who feel real narcissism, detachment to women and some sociopathic tendencies can afford exclusive reliance on dark triad traits when enticing women, but for an ordinary man, the purpose of entering a relationship with a woman centers on love. Constant investment in a power dynamic is not what love is supposed to be about, and it is taxing for men with normal dispositions towards women. Fortunately for all the men that can't totally stomach acting like bar hopping players all the time despite the pay off, nice guy game is effective. And what's better, nice guy game works best for nerds.

Some of the men I know that are most successful with women who are out of their leagues are very nice guys, and they are very nice to the women they date. The trick is to be nice by showing your prowess at something you excel at. If you create a situation where you can display your skill, it will usually put you in a position where dominant behavior is natural. For example, if your target girl likes to sing and you happen to be a computer geek who is well versed in audio production, offer to make her a very good recording. You can offer to teach her things. While she learns, she will understand the extent of your skill, and she will look up to you.

Now, this nice guy behavior can very easily get a man friend zoned, so it is important to remember that the other tenets of game do not disappear when applying nice guy game. You have to semi frequently neg a girl in this situation. Pick on her a little. If she arrives late, sarcastically call her out. If she does something that falls even slightly short of perfect etiquette, pounce on it. Neg her, but seem laid back about it. Don't ever seem like you are genuinely complaining. Just seem like you can afford to expect better from girls.

It is also important to always maintain control of the situation. You initiate and you arrange to work on a project or display one of your skills. This could be fixing her car or even making a meal for her. Whatever the project is, it is your domain and her job is to assist you or learn. You can give her assignments. If she makes a mistake, good. It's an opportunity for a neg.

Another standard game rule that still applies is that you can't seem horny and desperate. When you talk about your skill, sound informative, not excited. Sound like the skill of focus is just one of many things that makes up your impressive life. And keep the flattery to a minimum. Under no circumstances should you tell the target girl how beautiful she is, especially if she is actually beautiful. Compliment her sparingly and direct your compliments to things that aren't even bodily attributes such as her clothing. Also, pry for the girl's weaknesses and leverage any ability you may have to better solve her problems than she can. Does she have credit card debt? If so, give her just the slightest sense of disapproval and pity while you explain some intelligent method of creating long term financial security. The objective is to use nice guy game to transition from the position of competent nice guy to the only male role where nice guy appeal is effective: daddy. It is natural for girls to go for daddy appeal. While this persona involves nice and doting behavior, it is not beta.

The best thing is that nice guy game works for nerds. Nerdy guys have a natural tendency to reveal dominant tendencies when working on whatever it is they direct their nerd brains towards. This trait can be attractive if presented properly because the display of mastery of a skill is a dominant masculine trait. Nerd brains are, after all, extreme male brains. However, nerdiness usually happens to come at the cost of the kind of social acclimatization that has the broadest appeal, and this can make ******* game feel like it is a faked personality. Nice guy game lets a nerdy guy create a situation where his mastery of a difficult technical skill takes the stage and defines how a situation proceeds.

One of the advantages of using nice guy game effectively is that a nerdy guy that uses it can attract a girl that legitimately likes him for his mind. Bar hopping player game does not automatically produce this effect. That kind of standard game behavior will result in a girl that likes a man because he is a mystery and a challenge, not because of his individual attributes. The other advantage of being a nice guy is that is is easier for guys to keep up because it is closer to the way they sincerely wish to behave towards women.

So nerd guys, you might be lucky in love after all, because the brain is the sexiest organ.

 

[mrRuckus]

"Guys who feel real narcissism, detachment to women and some sociopathic tendencies can afford exclusive reliance on dark triad traits when enticing women, but for an ordinary man, the purpose of entering a relationship with a woman centers on love."


Her basic assumption to start with isn't even true so there's no point in analyzing the rest.

Seriously, who in the seduction community (god that term sounds stupid) is recommending being an assh0le? Maybe for a one night pickup or something like that, but when did people start recommend against being a nice guy? You can be both a masculine man with his crap together and be nice to people. I can't say i keep up with these various authors.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

A rational description of the attraction process? From a woman? I took this one with a dump truck full of grains of salt, but some of it sounds alright. Except for the part about analyzing and trying to fix her problems, NO WAY BOYS.

 

[RMM]

http://feministx.blogspot.com/2009/05/nice-guy-game.html

Let's see...

offer to make her

You can offer

You initiate and you arrange to work on

better solve her problems

Gee, I wonder what...

daddy

Oh. Well, at least she came out and said it.

 

[prairiedog24]

Well, this is exactly the way I behave naturally, and I have no limit of very attractive female friends. It's keeping them interested in more than friend-ness that's tough.

 

[Jitterbug]

Well from real life observations, the arseholes who do nothing nice for women get them way more than the good guys, even if the latter have good game and do get their decent share of pvssies.

Hands up which one of you good guys have had hundreds of women writing you love letters? No one? Hah, serial killers and even that Austrian guy who locked up & fvcked his daughter for 2 decades got you beat easily!

So it begs the question: why bother making the investment of doing nice things for women at all (coz it actually costs a lot of time, effort & money! Those things don't come free, Ms FeministX), when you don't have to?

That chick is totally off her vodka knockers crazy when she suggested that nice guys should try to analyze and help fix women's problems!

###

Anyway the real reason she's writing all this is that she's a regular at Roissy's blog and is trying to do something to stop the tide of former nice guys turning bad as they discovered that being "bad" is rewarded by women!

 

[STR8UP]

Sure, "B" grade men DO get women.

They just end up getting cheated on, possibly stuck raising another man's kid, and eventually divorced and taken to the cleaners.

It's called being the "beta provider" type, and I've seen many being herded down the aisle to slaughter.....

 

[PeeGee]

The mating game is a lot more complicated than attracting a mate. Once you attract one you need to maintain attraction or there are a plethora of consequences.

The article fails to address a great deal of issues that come up by being a nice person. It's not even being a beta provider type that you need to avoid but that you are always and forever compared to every one of the woman's potential suitors.

You cannot ever afford to take a break from your 'game'. Constantly engineering situations where your 'nerd brain' is the alpha scenario doesn't always work. Try being nerdy while taking your girl sky diving, or to the gun range. I just can't associate nerdiness with certain activities that a girl will be interest in. Men who get complacent quickly find out how much value female words and promises really are

"Always and forever or until I find somebody better"

 

[Mr. Me]

>> The trick is to be nice by showing your prowess at something you excel at. >>

The problem with her post and others like it, is that because of the low barrier to posting a blog, umpteen zillion basically inexperienced people have become self-assumed instant experts because of their one time anecdote, personal inclinations or otherwise limited knowledge of a subject. "Hey, I'm a girl and I had a date with a nice guy! That makes me an expert! Let me give everyone advice based on my three dates!"

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Why, as a man, do I have to perform like some kind of court jester to win over a woman?

"Oh, look at me, I can make you an auddddddddio recording of your beauuuutiful voice!"

As a man, all you have to do is:

a) live your life;
b) keep improving yourself mentally, physically, and socially (all three of these are easy to figure out - just do things that take you out of your comfort zone and are challenging);
c) never answer to any woman for who you are; and
d) profit.

Soooo easy!!

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'll grant it that the author's intentions were good, and I agree that by creating situations that place you in a position of authority can increase a woman's attraction.

The rest of the advice is dubious, and the entire premise is a straw man argument. No one in the community is advocating "dark triad game." In fact, Mystery's most recent revision of his book seems to stress the importance of a fun, positive personality.

What nerds need to address first and foremost is their poor social calibration and body language. No amount of being nice or skilled at something is going compensate for those deficiencies. MM, RSD, Mehow, etc. are actually great for these guys, because those systems place these things in a anthropological context and break down the correct behavior into formulas. Socialization is thereby "learned," perhaps by rote memorization at first, but (hopefully) eventually by simply allowing naturally masculine behavior to emerge. The good thing about these methods is that they produce significant rewards early on; even a reward as simple as an HB continuing a conversation instead of running away is a significant milestones for a nerd used to creeping out girls.

There are lots of routes to pick up mastery, and being nice works wonders when you are a high value male. This article would be more appropriately directed at such guys--but then, high value males don't need to do much to attract girls. Giving such advice to nerds is essentially telling them not to make any adjustments in their life and just trust that there's a woman out there for them.

 

[jophil28]

Why, as a man, do I have to perform like some kind of court jester to win over a woman?

"Oh, look at me, I can make you an auddddddddio recording of your beauuuutiful voice!"

THat is indeed the point .

The whole article is predicated on that old female belief (or wish) that men need to "apply" for a date with a woman by jumping though hoops to please her, entertain her or fawn over her as if he were in some kind of audition.
The author ridicules PUA style (nightclub) "game" because she knows that it shifts a lot of psych power over to the guy.
Women liked things the way they were, and this woman is essentially expressing that sentiment by promoting AFC behavior..

 

[SXS]

What a huge bunch of BS...