Female roommate wants me to sign contract

[Chamber36]

I got a female roommate... I know. Stop laughing. We do know each other from childhood. We seem to be getting along fine.

Before moving in she treated the place like her own, so I told her I didn't want to sign the contract. After she moved in she didn't push for too much space anymore, spent most of the time at her boyfriend's. We're getting along fine now.

She just told me she wants me to sign the contract so she can officially move in here and have an intra-uterine device implanted by a local doctor.

I don't want to sign the contract because it feels like I'll be handing in my balls with that contract.

I can either NOT sign the contract and she'll be sort of screwed. She won't have a doctor in the city, only one 1.5 hours away from here, which I can't really allow if I am her friend.

I could also sign the contract and she'll be living here. I think we would get along fine.

I could also kick her out, but I don't really want to do that to her. It would be sort of cruel and unusual.

Her father died when she was 14. I was at the funeral. So I am thinking she might be pretty easy for me to handle, since most girls who lose their dad want no more than approval from a guy. She also told me that she sort of resents guys that didn't know her dad because they'll never know what a great guy he was (IOI?). I knew the guy and I thought he was pretty great as well. Her big brother as actually my best friend back when I was about 4 years old. So we go way back. I know her since she was in the cradle.

The other plus-side is that I can learn how the female mind works. She tells me everything about all the texts she gets from guys, her boyfriend and guys who aren't her boyfriend. So it is pretty interesting for me to get a peek into the female psyche, considering I never had a sister.

Advice please?

 

[ARrocket]

I don't want to sign the contract because it feels like I'll be handing in my balls with that contract.

Unless I missed something, this seems to be the only explanation of why you don't want to sign the contract and make life easier for a friend of yours, so you should probably elaborate.

 

[Chamber36]

Well in the contract it says there's a 3 month notice period in case I want to kick her out. I'd be living with her for 3 months after. I feel that if she has this guarantee she might give me more sh1t-tests.

 

[ARrocket]

Can you negotiate it down to maybe one month?

Really, IMO it just comes down to whether or not you think you'll have problems with her. If you haven't had any already and you actually consider her your friend, then...is it likely you'll have an issue with her? Have you ever noticed any behavior from her that makes you think she'd act differently? Are you comfortably sitting her down and telling her your concerns?

 

[Chamber36]

Can you negotiate it down to maybe one month?

Well I told her and she doesn't wanna bring it down under 3 months. She said though that if we break into a fight and she finds a new place she would most likely move into a new place ASAP instead of stretching out the whole 3 month period for the hell of it.

So yes I am comfortably sitting her down.

Really, IMO it just comes down to whether or not you think you'll have problems with her. If you haven't had any already and you actually consider her your friend, then...is it likely you'll have an issue with her?
Have you ever noticed any behavior from her that makes you think she'd act differently?

The only behavior I didn't like was the way she walked in here planning to transform the place. She wanted to bring in a new dinner table and get rid of the book-rack on the wall. She just came in here like the people from Extreme Home Make-over. I was a little disrespected. Since I told her I wasn't signing the contract she cut that out though. We seem to be cooperating now. I'm just worried things might change if I sign the contract. Luckily I don't want to fvck her. I just sort of wanted things to be clear. Didn't want to sign the contract and flip over like a dog.

Now she wants me to sign it again. Feeling reluctant for my manhood. On the other hand I suppose it's alright. Seems like there's more pro's than cons.

 

[ARrocket]

Seems like there's more pro's than cons.

Sounds that way to me too; just make sure she knows there will be no extreme makeovers tolerated!

 

[Blistex]

Sounds that way to me too; just make sure she knows there will be no extreme makeovers tolerated!

Yeah, maybe put that in the contract too. Ideally, use the contract to set the boundaries straight.

Or...treat it like Sheldon's contract from the Big Bang Theory (I jk of course).

 

[Down Low]

I don't get the problem with a landlord and tenant making a lease contract.

IUD? An abortifacient has nothing to do with a rental agreement. Are you two gonna be tenant-with-benefit and landlord-with-benefit? Sorry, sex on the side can't be put into a lease. You can't even enforce it in a marriage.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I've lived with girls before. Twice, actually, for about a year each. Some helpful things:

1. Make sure both of you get out anything that could be considered "annoying" prior to signing anything. For example, I would tell them in advance that I'm forgetful at times and can be messy. That way, when you do this stuff later on and they get annoyed, you can remind them that you told them about this stuff early on.

2. You don't want a 3-month notice in there, period. When a woman gets mad and stays mad at you, you don't want them sticking around that long. TRUST ME. 30 days is more than enough time to find another place - at that point, if it was going bad its not your responsibility to see if she had an emergency fund saved up to move someplace else.

3. As for learning about the "female psyche," i can save you some time: what you'll learn is that females are hella contradictory, and are willing to change how they operate or think when it benefits them. For example, she might go on a date with a guy and tell you all the things he did wrong. You'll be thinking, "great, I'll know not to do those things since they seem to be a turn off." Yet, two days later she'll still be talking to the guy, and you'll be sitting there trying to figure out WHY, given how much bad stuff she said about him.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Yeah I agree with Down Low, what does the IUD have to with signing the contract? Sorry, just a lil bit confused, and if that is in the lease then damn dude your'e F@ckin smart! tennant-landlord with benefits.

 

[Deep Dish]

She just told me she wants me to sign the contract so she can officially move in here and have an intra-uterine device implanted by a local doctor.

If all she simply needs is an official living address, there's no need for a contract, at all. She can fill out a declaration of domicile with her local county, which will establish her residency.

 

[Chamber36]

She won't care if I bring home a chick to bang. I don't think she would try to c0ckblock. She'd just behave like it's normal.

But she is starting to *****. Today she complained that I ate her fvckin potatoes. We have 2 bags of potatoes now, I told her to just eat mine then instead of complaining. It's pointless to even talk about. She started complaining to my other roommate as well today about some more trivial crap - him taking out the trash. He refused and she mentioned that she didn't like him, then she took it out herself.

So I guess that it should just have it reduced down to 1 month, print that and sign it. Let her decide if she wants to sign that.

 

[Deep Dish]

Chamber, don’t sign any contract if you don’t need to. She can get a declaration of domicile with the county clerk of the court office. You are in a better position if you retain your flexibility of autonomy by not signing any contract.

 

[Chamber36]

Chamber, don’t sign any contract if you don’t need to. She can get a declaration of domicile with the county clerk of the court office. You are in a better position if you retain your flexibility of autonomy by not signing any contract.

I will check at the county office to find out if my taxes go up if I have people living here. I want everything clear as glass. Too bad I never studied law.

Maybe she can even declare she's living here without my taxes going up. That is if I don't sign a contract.

 

[Bible_Belt]

So it's your place and you let her live there without a lease? Are you in the United States? If you are and she lives with you, then you can't kick her out without going through a formal legal eviction anyway. It would actually be easier to kick her out for non-payment if you had a signed lease. Obviously, change the 90 day's notice to 30. It would take at least 30 days to evict her right now, anyway.

 

[Trump]

Why doesn't she ask the guy she is sleeping with if she could live with him?

I know you are her friend, but to listen to her guy problems and texts and feed her ego while the bf gets the sex from her, sounds terrible. Luckily you don't want to sleep with her.

Personally, I don't like feeding any girls ego unless Im getting something in return.

 

[Dominance]

Why do you feel like she is taking your balls? If it is because you don't agree with what is in the contact, then don't sign it. If you don't mind her living with her then you set the contract.

 

[Atom Smasher]

NEVER sign a contract unless it clearly benefits you.

Contracts usually = regret.

 

[muscleman]

So it's your place and you let her live there without a lease? Are you in the United States? If you are and she lives with you, then you can't kick her out without going through a formal legal eviction anyway. It would actually be easier to kick her out for non-payment if you had a signed lease. Obviously, change the 90 day's notice to 30. It would take at least 30 days to evict her right now, anyway.

Or do it without a contract and all cash. That way she was 'just crashing with you for a while' and now time's up. Change the locks and boom, you're done. There's a psychological aspect to it. Every roommate I've had I always went over the ground rules, told them up front there's no contracts (easier for both parties) and we never had any problems. Minor skirmishes were quickly resolved.

This is a business transaction, treat it as such. She's welcome to decorate her room as you see fit, but if it's a general living area and she's trying to do a makeover, shut her down.

Also - is it a place you own or are you renting from someone else? This is kind of important.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Change the locks and boom, you're done.

That only works if she goes away and does not know her rights, which is probably what would happen. However, the worst case scenario is that she does understand that you have to go through the formal legal eviction process before you can legally throw her out. That means having her served with papers and waiting for a court date. Until then, your couch is still her legal residence. You can't have someone arrested for trespassing in their legal residence. I don't know if the cops would help her break back in after you threw her out, but I would expect them to take her side, especially if the cops are men and she is attractive.

Because you still have to legally evict anyone living in your house, regardless of whether or not they have a lease, you might as well get a lease. Just make it for 30 days at a time a renew on the 1st of each month, instead of a typical one year lease. Keep records of the rent payment and issue receipts for cash. These things all make it easier to kick her out when the time comes.