Female Mate Guarding

[va2000]

I've noticed my girlfriend engage in plenty of female mate guarding, some of it explicitly and in some cases I have suspicions... in fact there was one cool couple of close SMV to ours and the guy cheated and they divorced and I never lined it up in my head before, but it was only after she became single that my girlfriend seemed to have "fallen out" with her. I didn't get any specifics, but it's somewhat obvious that what used to be the coolest friendship just doesn't involve really any communication between them. I know if there was a real reason or serious offense I would have heard something.

The beta me was very careful about concealing any flirtation or sign of interest in any of her friends, but I was trying not to flirt with anyone out of "respect" for her, and the hot ones have definitely disappeared anyway. So what is the best function of her friends? It almost seems as if it would be counterproductive to flirt openly with them, or she might end up with nobody left... also I'm curious if there are any ways to increase her hot friend circle... or is that one a pipedream?

Another question would be, when she says it was "disrespectful" that you were playing along with that one friend who obviously wants you, my instinct is to say I don't feel that way, but is there a way to turn this one in for an even bigger profit?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

In my experience, girls are rarely loyal to each other when it comes to men. I've pulled competing 'best friends' a number of times and had to keep my mouth shut for the sake of those so called friendships. Even my ex-gf's room mate kissed me on NYE while gf was in the same room. Like honestly, girls who are now married and/or with kids and stuff, acting like butter never melted in their mouths, those that a stranger would view as upstanding members of the community, didn't think twice about betraying their closest friendships for a roll in the hay with me. Just play the game, be friendly an as you say, respect the fact you are in an exclusive relationship.

The only thing I would say about your situation is that your gf sounds a bit unstable, potentially ditching all of her friends because she feels threatened by them. Be careful, you don't want to end up with an emotional parasite that never leaves you alone. Once she's got no friends left, she'll start projecting those insecurities on to you. Take that as the voice of experience.

 

[va2000]

I agree on the instability aspect. She is far from perfect and that is a character trait I consider balanced by others.

But... in purely a self esteem context, would it not stand to reason that dread game works nearly the same way but requires less work? For example, it seems that a girl who is insecure about having friends who are too hot around is already responding to dread without me doing any leg work. Obviously it makes for a touchier, more potentially unpredictable dynamic.

 

[AJ84]

I've noticed my girlfriend engage in plenty of female mate guarding, some of it explicitly and in some cases I have suspicions... in fact there was one cool couple of close SMV to ours and the guy cheated and they divorced and I never lined it up in my head before, but it was only after she became single that my girlfriend seemed to have "fallen out" with her. I didn't get any specifics, but it's somewhat obvious that what used to be the coolest friendship just doesn't involve really any communication between them. I know if there was a real reason or serious offense I would have heard something.

The beta me was very careful about concealing any flirtation or sign of interest in any of her friends, but I was trying not to flirt with anyone out of "respect" for her, and the hot ones have definitely disappeared anyway. So what is the best function of her friends? It almost seems as if it would be counterproductive to flirt openly with them, or she might end up with nobody left... also I'm curious if there are any ways to increase her hot friend circle... or is that one a pipedream?

Another question would be, when she says it was "disrespectful" that you were playing along with that one friend who obviously wants you, my instinct is to say I don't feel that way, but is there a way to turn this one in for an even bigger profit?

Dread game is for guys who don't feel like they have options, as the goal of dread is to keep a girl around. If her friends are flirting with you and she sees that, then clearly you have options. No need to apply this strategy as doing so will make you look like an a** and risk her dumping you for a guy who doesn't pull that crap unnecessarily.

 

[AJ84]

You're the guy who posted in Mature Man ' How Red Pill Aware is Your Wife?'

From what I recall you have been with this girl for several years and are new to the red pill concept and want to apply this in your relationship.

This will be more challenging than applying this to a new relationship. You're four years in right? Just be mindful of these approaches as you don't want to erode a good thing ( as you described in that other post), trying to apply a bunch of red pill stuff that may not even be needed.

Seek advice from men who have turned red pill in current relationships and were able to use it to improve the relationship not just for them but for their partner as well. Take what you think will benefit you and her and discard the toxic aspects.

 

[va2000]

Thank you AJ, I've actually been looking at the "don't overdose" type discussions today. I like the way user "TheBluePillProfesser" puts it on Reddit: "you don't go past level 5 if you are happy in the relationship." At the moment I would say I'm 95% "happy" in my relationship. When we are together, sex is almost daily without me having to initiate, but that's just one aspect.

I can see the potential for better enthusiasm. It is interesting to me, that my fondest memory of passion was our first meeting about 9 months into the relationship and after about 3 months straight of me being away for work, and she met me at the airport a little tipsy in a friend's car and got in the back seat with me and couldn't get off of me while riding home. It has never happened in the nearly 4 years following, and I attribute it mainly to how little she knew me and how I was still a masculine mystery. I travel a lot for work and she misses me deeply as evidenced by tears, etc., but in this case I had just stepped up dramatically in my professional status and still had not displayed nearly the amount of beta tells I have displayed since then just by nature.

I know mystery is not something you can "create" once familiarity is established, but f I can build up a sufficient level of redpill behavior, I believe I can reach that kind of passionate enthusiasm again, which is crucial to my appreciation of the relationship... and I think a touch of dread is going to be required throughout.