"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Female I met at work

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151674

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I called this female and she answered. I asked her did I catch you at a bad time? She said she was on her way to see her son why whats up? I then told her the reason why I called you cause I wanna get to know you outside of work in an intimate way but I didnt wanna expressed that to you while at work. She was quiet for a lil minute then responded you didnt hear me say my baby pulse had stop? I responded I understood that you was going see your son but didnt catch that it was an emergency. She went into details about the phone call she received from the hospital concerning her son and started crying. I then said well im sorry to hear that forget this conversation and I hope your son be ok. Did I do the right thing? On a side note her son nearly drown a while back but still alive by a miracle and on breathing machine
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Stoic

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You did fine.

Just caught her at an incredibly bad time.
 

Lookatu

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What's up with everyone trying to date their coworkers?

If you two continue talking and you do wanna go down that path, just make sure she's not using you as an emotional tampon going forward and be aware of when you get friendzoned.
 
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What's up with everyone trying to date their coworkers?

If you two continue talking and you do wanna go down that path, just make sure she's not using you as an emotional tampon going forward and be aware of when you get friendzoned.
Well due to the pandemic a lot of gathering places are closed and the ones that are open are very limited to the amount of people going inside. Right now in these times you mostly likely will meet women at your job or you may luck up and meet one at the store.
 

Epimanes

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I hope you didnt actually tell her you wanted to get to know her in an "intimate way outside of work" .... your approach seems a bit creepy to me and lacks confidence...

Id actually appologize in person for catchin her at a bad time and then ask her how her kids doing .... if the window of opportunity opens... maybe ask her to join you for coffee sometime over a lunch break... this is of you insist on dating a co worker... personally hittin on co workers can be deemed boarder line sexual harassment if she takes it wrong..... ask me how i know... lol

*shrugs*
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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mrgoodstuff

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I hope you didnt actually tell her you wanted to get to know her in an "intimate way outside of work" .... your approach seems a bit creepy to me and lacks confidence...

Id actually appologize in person for catchin her at a bad time and then ask her how her kids doing .... if the window of opportunity opens... maybe ask her to join you for coffee sometime over a lunch break... this is of you insist on dating a co worker... personally hittin on co workers can be deemed boarder line sexual harassment if she takes it wrong..... ask me how i know... lol

*shrugs*
You are aware that women are so excited to be dating in the workplace, that they will suggest taking things outside... At work keep it on work, if she wants to invite herself with you somewhere, then consider it. But taking risks for your career hitting on ladies in the office, asking them out, etc is not too smart.
 

Epimanes

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Before i found the good gf i have now.... i was accused pf sexual harassment from a new lady at work in the commercial office building i look after... we chatted for days.m she obviously pretended to like me or somthing cuz 2 weeks after she arrived at the building as reception she complained to her HR that i was sexually harassing her cuz i looked at her.. and "leered" non of which i did... and they brought me in for questioning by their HR department.... this woman also asked me to text her some info for a work order request and thanked me for the work done and i had seen her once while i was driving and waved and honked at her... all implied was ok and well according to her actions towards me all friendly... even starting convos with me in passing.... then boom.. her HR department calls me into their office as she had complained that i wouldnt leave her alone.. when all i was foing was being friendly with her like i do everyone else in the buildings i look after ... she got treated no different than anyone else and i have been at my job for 20yrs.. needless to say... i stopped going to that floor and procastinate their maintencne requests ... she even had the audacity to tell me boss one day when he had to go to their floor to talk to them about some issue they had that he was leering also ... cuz he eas standing at her reception desk .... rang her service bell... she didnt look up to even acknowledge him then a moment later looked up and said "i see your staring at me its makin me uncomfortable" .... my boss just walked away and said to me later that she has some kinda problem... and he changed his stance on the sexual harassment call on me ... and contacted their HR to advise her of his opinion.... i continue to avoid that particular office space tenant now unless i absolutely have to go there.... then i just bypass her and go see the HR lady instead... fkn work ladies man i tell ya....

Moral of the story? Careful with work place ladies... they could be just setting you up for failure...
 

GT40

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Dating or banging work females is 90 percent a bad idea. It usually goes south.
Next you can’t work together.
She makes a formal complaint.
You get canned.
 

SW15

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In white collar office environments where employees tend to care about their longevity at the employer, I would not recommend trying to form any sort of romantic relationship with a co-worker. It's a really bad idea.

Bad Things That Could Happen
  • She could reject your advances and then you're stuck seeing her at work day in and day out. Even with more work at home lately due to pandemic, you might still have to have phone calls or video conferences with her. That's an unpleasant reminder. I hit on some woman at my gym and she rejected me and I had to see her for a long time after the rejection. That wasn't pleasant, but at least it didn't affect my career or mood at work.
  • She could whine to HR about you. This can happen just based on an approach, but could also happen at any point in a romantic relationship. HR usually won't take your side. If this happens, you'll need to find a new job.
  • Even if an approach is successful and results in a sex and/or a relationship, eventually things will sour. You won't likely seeing her at work. You'll probably need to find a new job. For most business professional for most of the past 15 years, the job market has been lackluster due to recession or lackluster recession recoveries. Finding a new job is a pain.
The only time that you can date a co-worker is if you are both working some low wage, temporary sort of job where neither one of you cares about longevity at the organization or your career. Store level retail is a common case of this, but there are some other situations.

@Rocnavy: You are 33. Why interested in a single mom? Plenty of 24-32 year olds are childless. A single mom at work is a really bad idea.

I'm fortunate that my current job is mostly male. The few women in the organization are not physically appealing to me.

In some past jobs, there were some pretty women. One job where I had a multi year tenure had a couple of "cute" women but no one "hot". I wouldn't mess around at work for merely "cute". The best looking of the "cute" women and I would have been incompatible anyway. There were similar stories with other "cute" women at that job. Mainly that job tended to have highly educated (more than a BA/BS degree), highly career oriented women, which isn't what I wanted in a girlfriend.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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