Female Friends and Social Proof: PRIMER to Success?

[sstype]

Most guys I know that are very successful with women have a combination of an above average physical appearance combined with massive social proof.

It seems that social proofing can work wonders towards attracting women. Women LOVE guys that other women go for, even if the guy is not that spectacular looking.

I notice that these guys usually have a network of female acquaintances/friends that they hang out with. They go out AS FRIENDS and the guy really does not care if the girl is attracted to him. He just treats her like a guy friend (minus sex jokes and other man-to-man talk) and does not try to make a move.

Their value increases to the other chicks because he is constantly seen laughing and having a good time with his girl friends. His girl friends may even become attracted to him at some point in time.

My theory:

So if this is how it is played, maybe a good start for a lot of guys here is to work on physical improvement, approach attractive female friends and make subtle remarks that you want to be friends w/ them even if they are interested in you. Build up your female friends base until you can consistently hang out with them @ clubs, malls, parties. Build up your guy friend base so you don't come off as gay. Go fishing, camping, poker, gym, etc....



Give off the vibe that you're not lookin to hook up. Look harmless. Let the girls get comfortable to the point where they will be hugging you and touching you because THEY TRUST you won't take it seriously.

Then watch as they start developing feelings for you because they can't stand other girls wanting to be around you. You will be social proofed like crazy and then you can start hooking up.


This work for handsome good-lookin dudes here because girls assume that they are players or "ladies men" but if they are surrounded by chicks that admire, trust, and respect them, then girls will be more willing to sleep with them and not feel guilty afterwards.

Average to above average guys here could implement this as well with the same success, cause it will throw off the girls preconceived perceptions that you are just lookin to hook up. Once you are social proofed they will be willing to compromise to get with a sought after guy like you. Plus you'll be "that ugly dude that gets all the chicks" haha

This is just one aspect of winnin it with the ladies and its also a theory of mine, im not really social proofed like I wish I was because I always try to "hook up" with every girl that crosses my path. I guess they see that I am just "another horndog tryin to get into their pants" If i loosened up like some of the more successful guys i know, then maybe I wouldnt be facing so many more rejections then they are. I truly think the reason a lot of guys here just dont make it with women is because they have little to no female friends/aquaintances.

 

[GaryUranga]

sounds interesting, gettign a few female FRIEND before going into gettign hook ups with them or other girls, I think you should add to that to not screw up you attractiveness when talkign to theese friends.

 

[sstype]

bump...cmon does anyone here have at least ONE female friend?

 

[Hitman10000]

Social proof helps but it's not necessary. I got rid of all my female friends a couple months ago then I am recently dating this new girl and I didn't need to have any "social proof." The only "social proof" you really need is to know your limits and being a man around her when you meet her family/friends who will either give you a pass or fail in terms of being her boyfriend.

 

[OfficeSpace]

I totally agree with sstype on this one! Your thread is exactly what I would have written, thanks for sharing bro! Good stuff! I have experienced that social proof is a great tool, but a bit too much and you come across as a player... So you gotta watch yourself.

 

[The Brotrain]

Having hot friend's totally works. I just got back from a bar where my model friend intorducded me to a hb9 who happens to be a chemical engineer. We'll see how things work out, but the best wingman you can have is a good looking, outgoing pivot. I posted on this a while ago, but it was in response to someone elses problem so it didnt get much face time. I'll repost it soon.

 

[Randomer]

Mmmmm, I have pretty much the same ammount of female friends as male friends... and I think it sounds kinda weird to just get rid of all of your female friends, a friend is a friend regardless of if they're male or female IMO. It might be slightly different with me though since I am at college where the female-male ratio is like 60-40, it'd be weirder if I had no female friends... lol

 

[Blusher]

Go fishing, camping, poker

What does that got to do with anything?

Anyway, having female friends will build up your confidence, conversationnal skills and obviously your social proof.

I am a make-up artist and although I made a point in not dating my models, I sometimes went for drinks with them after a photo shoot . I had more eye contact hanging out with these girls than I ever did before. So we would chat at the bar and invite other girls to join our conversation. It hits the bull's eye everytime!

Having said that, opposite gender friends an a LTR are hardly compatible.

As it turns out, since I am in a LTR all my female friends have either lost interest in seeing me, have expressed jealousy or bitterness, or have sent me very flirtatious text messages and/or e-mails at some point. Last thing I need is some jealous female acquaintance to jeopardize a very healthy and balanced LTR by texting me out of the blue.

I guess my conclusion would be female friends are great when you're single but sooner or later you realize that there's an element of attraction (mutual or sided) and that they cannot be considered 'real friends' like your male friends.

 

[Le Parisien]

Social proof is definitely a big thing!:yes:

When I used to be in engineering fields, I barely knew any young female through my social circles, let alone hot females. When I was going out (I used to go out three times a week), the same scene just kept repeating itself.
It lived in a college town for my graduate studies. So everytime at the clubs, the average and ugly dudes who just happened to know tons of hot females (mostly through their "good" majors like accounting, psychology etc...) were always the life of the party. Of course having tons of HBs dancing with you and talking to you by their own choice without you doing anything to get their attention created huge social proof. Many other HBs would also "want a piece of that".
While there are always actually good looking guys who are either from out of town, or don't know any girls there, their success is nowhere near what you would expect them to achieve based on their looks.

And then almost two years ago, I had a career change for personal reasons, now I can honestly say that I meet HBs on a more regular basis. Me still being the same me, my whole world just changed.
Just one example: now one of my closest friends is a gorgeous hungarian girl. I don't think of her that way for a few reasons and I won't go into more details. I met her through a capoeira practice and over time, I found out that she's really a nice, intelligent and successful person, and we connected pretty well, so naturally we became friends.
But I must admit that I realized that when other people see me hang out with her, her asking me to hang out and do stuff, they all thought I was a major pimp, and many other HBs would get jealous and start to show interest in me!

Basically it's just human psychology. Have you ever wondered why on a friday night, some restaurants seem to be crammed but many people still wait in a line to get in? While others are almost empty but no people would want o get in? "If no one's eating there then the restaurant must be bad..." "Let's check out the other spot, there seem to be a lot of people there..."
We are all guilty of this reasoning right? And this actually without any prior knowledge of the place, the food isn't necessarily better or worse than elsewhere right? That's why the wise restaurant/bar/club owners would have things called happy hours or other names just to attract people there so they will actually get good business later on during the night.

Just a few very important things about this HB social proof:

- The girls must be hot! Otherwise it might actually be counter-productive. I repeat, they must be hot!

- They must treat you differently from other guys. Because any chump with some luck will know a few HBs. So do they value your friendship? Do they say "hi" to you before you say anything to them? Do they hug you on their own initiative? Do they get excited everytime they see you? Do they invite you to do stuff? Etc...

 

[madgame]

Hey le Parisien...I went to Paris a few weeks ago and....DAMN...I mean I wouldn't really say girls in Paris are much more attractive than in other parts of the world I've seen, but I love the way they dress..mini-skirt or way tight patns and boots all day long lol...I'd love to see more girls dress like that where I live, but I think i've only seen one dressed that way haha

 

[sstype]

Social proof is definitely a big thing!:yes:

When I used to be in engineering fields, I barely knew any young female through my social circles, let alone hot females. When I was going out (I used to go out three times a week), the same scene just kept repeating itself.
It lived in a college town for my graduate studies. So everytime at the clubs, the average and ugly dudes who just happened to know tons of hot females (mostly through their "good" majors like accounting, psychology etc...) were always the life of the party. Of course having tons of HBs dancing with you and talking to you by their own choice without you doing anything to get their attention created huge social proof. Many other HBs would also "want a piece of that".
While there are always actually good looking guys who are either from out of town, or don't know any girls there, their success is nowhere near what you would expect them to achieve based on their looks.

And then almost two years ago, I had a career change for personal reasons, now I can honestly say that I meet HBs on a more regular basis. Me still being the same me, my whole world just changed.
Just one example: now one of my closest friends is a gorgeous hungarian girl. I don't think of her that way for a few reasons and I won't go into more details. I met her through a capoeira practice and over time, I found out that she's really a nice, intelligent and successful person, and we connected pretty well, so naturally we became friends.
But I must admit that I realized that when other people see me hang out with her, her asking me to hang out and do stuff, they all thought I was a major pimp, and many other HBs would get jealous and start to show interest in me!

Basically it's just human psychology. Have you ever wondered why on a friday night, some restaurants seem to be crammed but many people still wait in a line to get in? While others are almost empty but no people would want o get in? "If no one's eating there then the restaurant must be bad..." "Let's check out the other spot, there seem to be a lot of people there..."
We are all guilty of this reasoning right? And this actually without any prior knowledge of the place, the food isn't necessarily better or worse than elsewhere right? That's why the wise restaurant/bar/club owners would have things called happy hours or other names just to attract people there so they will actually get good business later on during the night.

Just a few very important things about this HB social proof:

- The girls must be hot! Otherwise it might actually be counter-productive. I repeat, they must be hot!

- They must treat you differently from other guys. Because any chump with some luck will know a few HBs. So do they value your friendship? Do they say "hi" to you before you say anything to them? Do they hug you on their own initiative? Do they get excited everytime they see you? Do they invite you to do stuff? Etc...

That's good to hear Le Parisien.

You say that the girls must treat you differently from other guys.

I want to approach hot women but I don't want to sleep with them, I want to develop friendships with them and use them as social pivots. Most hot women think that every guy that tries to talk to them wants to f*ck them.

How do you send the message that "hey look, I like you as a friend." In other words, how do you successfuly LJBF chicks and keep them platonically attracted to you.
Perhaps invite them out and not make any moves beyond a friendly hug?

 

[The Brotrain]

Approach them in normal places like coffe shops or work and tell them "You like their style and want thier fashion advice."

Otherwise if your in a bar/club you need to pick them up and then screw it up by not amping up the sexual tension and focus instead of building a massive amount of rapport. It might take a while to find the right girl.