"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Female friend called me creepy

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jcb1772

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There's a female coworker of mine...

Brief background: I've been good friends with for 6 months but also told her a few months ago I could see us becoming more than friends...I was basically rebuked since she hasn't broken up with her bf. So she knows I was interested at one point, but we've remained close friends.

Anywho...

I was talking with her on our office's instant messager and she made a comment that "you seem lonely" and my response was "so lonely. ;)" Nothing suggestive was intended. An hour later she said that was a really creepy use of the wink smiley. I didn't know if she was being serious or not so at first I just laughed and said I was obviously kidding about being lonely, hence the wink. But she kept going on, saying I was a creeper repeatedly and that my winky smiley was suggestive. I insisted that wasn't my intention and we ended up getting in dry argument about winks...ugh.

I probably didn't handle that well by arguing...I wish I had just shrugged it off or turned it around on her somehow. But there's something about being called creepy...even if she was playing (and in hindsight she probably was), I didn't know for sure and that bothered me...especially when being "suggestive" didn't even cross my mind! So if she was just playing, why? To troll me? For what purpose? As far as I know she just sees me as a nice/funny friend (yeah yeah, lol), so I don't know why she'd just **** with me like that. But she should also know me well enough to know I wouldn't be purposely "creepy." So what gives? And what should I do if she brings it up again?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Dryden

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Sorry to hear that she feels like she has to humiliate you at work...

You might want to ask who she's been talking to... that she would start writing messages or comments to you like that.
 
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jurry

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This is a troll post right? You've been on here ten years and are asking about an office IM conversation with a taken coworker who has turned you down and has BLATANTLY told you you are a lonely creeper?!

Shes not your friend, and shes right, now go out and learn how to talk to women bro. You need SERIOUS work.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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L

LMFAO

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This is why you don't even attempt to flirt with girls using any office written communication.

Some girls are completely humourless and can't even handle a guy flirting a little (if that can even be constituted as such). She must really be bitter and unattractive.

Don't take the risk putting winks to coworkers on instant messenger and emails. It can easily go tits up, if not now then later when they file an harassment charge against the company (true or not) and dig for evidence.

Don't communicate with her again unless you have to.
 
Peaks&Valleys

Peaks&Valleys

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jcb1772 said:
I've been good friends with for 6 months but also told her a few months ago I could see us becoming more than friends...I was basically rebuked since she hasn't broken up with her bf. So she knows I was interested at one point, but we've remained close friends.
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Why are you wasting any time on this chick in the first place? You are in the FZ. That is it. You are the lowest of the low. This is what happens to her nice guy "friends" that get out of line and try to test the waters. They get shoved back into their rightful place as fish excrement.

jcb1772 said:
And what should I do if she brings it up again?
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Don't argue with her. Don't try to defend yourself. Don't engage.

She's insulting you. She's offending you. She's looking for reasons to attack you.

Her paradigm is all screwed up.

Kick this dumb b1tch to the curb. Ignore the $hit out of her, don't look at her, avoid her. Don't give her any attention. If anything, tell her to leave you alone. Then block her IM.

You don't let people into your life who act this way.

Your stance: This b1tch is crazy (which, it sounds like she is)

Just because she thinks you're being creepy, doesn't mean that you are. Remember that, this is only her dumb opinion. Hopefully she goes to HR and complains, and you get fired. Then you'll have a nice pay day coming. :up:
 
J

jcb1772

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jurry said:
This is a troll post right? You've been on here ten years and are asking about an office IM conversation with a taken coworker who has turned you down and has BLATANTLY told you you are a lonely creeper?!

Shes not your friend, and shes right, now go out and learn how to talk to women bro. You need SERIOUS work.
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Yeah dude, I know I need serious work. I still have a lot of issues with women and with things in general. When I joined this site 10 years ago I didn't even know how to talk to a girl PERIOD. It's not like I haven't made progress.

Thanks for all the responses guys. For the record, I know now she WAS just messing with me and doesn't actually think I'm creepy. I haven't been into her in months. I just didn't know how to handle being called creepy by a female even if it was in a joking manner. I still don't understand what the point of that teasing was about, but whatever.
 
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Robert28

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Women overuse the ever living sh!t out of the word "creepy" these days that it really has lost its meaning. It's basically the same as Al Sharpton playing the race card. It's tired and worn out and people just laugh at it whenever they hear it now. Just think about it like this, women that use the term "creepy" aren't smart enough to come up with a different adjective to describe something.
 
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Epimanes

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Women only use the term "creepy" when they are unattracted and you flirt with them with needy intentions.. If she thought you were hot it wouldn't have mattered what you said and she would have went with it and flirted back.

Build more rapport before you try shyt like that again... And NEVER tell a woman your lonely with sexual inuendo.. That's creepy. What kind of "don juan" is lonely? I thought you single "don juans" are to spin plates.. Be awesome.. Work out.. And weed them out til you find the right one or the right one for right now?.

Epi
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Robert28

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I've read his post several times and to me it reads like he was just kidding around about "being lonely". The problem is I think the girl in question probably has the sense of humor of a rock and is probably dumb as a brick. I mean how in the blue he!! do you get a sexual innuendo from a fvcking winky face and the words "so lonely"? I don't know this dude and even I, a complete stranger, can tell it was a smart@$$ response that went completely over her head. The sad thing is this dumb wh0re probably votes and has/will have children someday to pass on her stupidity to.
 
gravityeyelids

gravityeyelids

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Girl calls you creepy on IM? You say "haha", and then log off and proceed to ignore her nonsense. Do NOT oblige her by arguing about something stupid.

Oh yea, and why the hell would you tell her you can see you guys becoming more than friends? bad move dude.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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