Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Sounds to me like you've met a woman with some self respect, Str8up.....DJing tactics don't work on women with self respect.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Female DJ or not interested? Next?
- Thread starter STR8UP
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Ummm...no, this particular woman has a b!tch shield that could protect the Starship Enterprise during re-entry. I've never met anyone like her to tell you the truth. She was rude to me on a couple of occasions, but I eventually got past the shell and she's pretty cool.iqqi said:
I'm not sure I agree with that statement.Don Juanabbe said:
DJ tactics work on MOST women, but it's like playing defense. And if the woman is ALSO playing defense, how does anyone score a goal?
I had to look past ******d appearances to even get to the point where I thought she was a cool chick, and I'm thinking this is just another part of the peeling away of layers you have to go through in order to get to know who she really is.
I have a feeling everything you see in the beginning is just a front. That's why I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt on the slow transition to intimacy.
legolas
Master Don Juan
Penalty KicksSTR8UP said:
wjh
Master Don Juan
Sounds like a lot of work.STR8UP said:
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Time for some scarcity. String her out. You need to not be so easy. I just don't believe in going by rules such as nexting after such and such time, or "giving it one more shot". It does not work like that.
Serial dating gives women too much power and too much focus. I know you are not a fan of the plate theory, but having some others to focus on while you pull back is wise.
Serial dating gives women too much power and too much focus. I know you are not a fan of the plate theory, but having some others to focus on while you pull back is wise.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
STR8UP did you ever consider that her b!tch shield was because she too judged YOU too harshly and quickly right off the jump?
Mmmmm?
Mmmmm?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Okay, here's the problem with that.mrRuckus said:
Not every woman is going to be wooed by your "awesomeness" immediately.
Do you automatically discard a woman if she isn't enamored by your presence the first time she meets you?
And it's not about her being a prize. I'm not up her ass calling her all the time and telling her how beautiful she is.
I've been around this game long enough to know that sometimes you have to "play along" in the beginning, then once you set the hook you can establish the frame. Like I said, two teams playing defense NOBODY scores a goal.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Yeah, this is a funny scenario, I've been in it, and when I used DJing, all it got me was contempt from the woman.....
STR8UP said:
So what? Just because you know not to chase her around doesn't mean you aren't viewing her as the prize.
You are making her out as something to be won but why do you care to play along with this nonsense? She is PURPOSELY giving you a hard time. Why do you want her so much when she's a pain?
"sometimes you have to "play along" in the beginning," I wouldn't even want her anymore. Why do you want to play along? Because you want her. She's just being difficult for difficulties sake and defining the rules to you. What makes her so great compared to other women that you have the time or inclination to deal with the one being in the pain in the ass?
And yeah when two teams play defense they somehow score goals. The Devils won several stanley cups with hardly any offense and the Ravens of the NFL in 2000 won with about 0 offense. And you tried offense already and got shot down! You weren't both playing defense...
What is the harm if you just do nothing instead of playing her game? What woman actually has the self control when she's interested not to do SOMETHING herself?
Why am I "allowing" her to be "difficult"? Well, to be honest with you it's no sweat off my back. I'll take a little playing hard to get over making plans and flaking out ANY day of the week.mrRuckus said:
I get the gist of what you are saying, but simply saying "make yourself the prize" doesn't help. That's the ultimate goal in any interaction, but is it realistic to expect EVERY woman you are interested in to bow at your feet in the beginning?
It's a push/pull kind of deal. Obviously I posted this because I'm not getting the reciprocation that I would LIKE to get, but I don't think that means it's a lost cause.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I agree with you Str8 that it's unrealistic for all women to bow at your feet. Although, in my experience if a woman didn't make plans within a week or so she never did. So I think a guy should make a move early and if you don't get compliance, then walk.STR8UP said:
You've already shown the expected, standard male pursuit, the "pull". Based on how she treated you in the beginning, her whole "I'm not easy, you have to pursue me" deal, and her avoiding kissing you on the 2nd date, I'd say it's time for the "push".
There's no doubt in her mind that you are interested in pursuing her, she now has to reciprocate or give you the green light. I'd say if you don't at least get a deep kiss on the 3rd date, she should be left wondering why you haven't called her.
I know you know this, but just as a reminder, the tactics she's using are to establish the upper hand, don't give it to her.
There's no doubt in her mind that you are interested in pursuing her, she now has to reciprocate or give you the green light. I'd say if you don't at least get a deep kiss on the 3rd date, she should be left wondering why you haven't called her.
I know you know this, but just as a reminder, the tactics she's using are to establish the upper hand, don't give it to her.