Fellow DJs... Please help me :( I feel like i lost everything

[DJsomeday]

Fellow djs i am in need of your help, please don't overlook this.

I'll tell you my story i'll try to make it as short as possible but i must include some key facts that might get you to understand my current situation.

I think i joined in october last year, this site was THE discovery at the time and the knowledge i obtanined was incredible, i instantly got better at dealing with women and stuff, a reading that really helped me and got the best part of me out was "Weapons of mass seduction" by Mr. Fingers, i think everyone should read it not just to pick up women but to learn a better outlook of life, it's simply incredible and goes beyond techniques and stuff.

Well, onward.

I got really good, so much that i made an acquaintance(sp?) of my classroom want to go to prom with me within 2 hours of being dj with her, i also got my first real kiss because i used a girl to practice ALL my stuff C&F and all that, she got so addicted she wanted to kiss me everytime she saw me for some time now (that has changed though... i'll explain why below).

I was so great and i enjoyed using my dj skill to meet new ppl so much that when i was a freshman (april this year) i talked a lot to ppl in my new classroom, but then BOOM... it happened.

I was bored so i talked to this 2 dudes without fear or hesitation and we were walking around campus when a chick that i met before came and she told me a nickname that i disliked that i got in a time when i didn't have respect for myself, so anyway this 2 dudes started calling me like that and the next thing i know most guys in the room knew the nickname and started calling me like that, i swore to myself never to let ppl disrespect me or push my buttons without doing nothing so I un-friended all of them even though most of them haven't even talked to me yet, but i wasn't gonna hang out with people who nicknamed me even before of getting to know me but i wasn't gonna hang out with people who nicknamed me even before of getting to know my name.

This is where it happened, instead of being outgoing and fun with everyone i kinda became the loser of the classroom, sure i had friends (most of them girls i'm ashamed to admit) but i wasn't really accepted like i would have liked.

This time was really rough one day i just broke down and cried(in my house, not classroom) because i couldn't believe what was happening, i've never, EVER, been a reject in my life i've always had at least 2 or 3 good friend to hangout, here i had some girls and 1 guy that i met later but it wasn't good enough i felt like i was out of place for the 4 months that took the course.

I lost my dj abbilities during that time because of lack of use or i don't know, the girl that was addicted to me isn't addicted anymore, in fact i think she now sees me as a chump or something, because i was around her in really low times, when my abbilities were on the floor.

I can't get back up everything has changed, before at school i was popular (EVERYONE knew me and i really mean EVERYONE even elementary school ppl lol), i had no financial problems (my mom lost her job in december), i had a constant excersice routine (i'm eating more than before, my mom thinks it's because it's colder than ever but i think it's because it's my only scape from the tension), etc.

I've also gotten to the point where i feel i MUST make excersices before i go out or i feel really uncomfortable/down.
I can't seem to find the motivation i once had, these 4 months were a pain in the ass, now my mom is pressuring and always says i'm lazy and that if i fail a college subject she'll kick me out of the house, my father has tons of troubles himself and i can't seem to find it in me to get up, i've tried reading Weapons of mass seduction again but it didn't have the desired effect, i didn't became that i once were, i swear of god for at least a month i managed to be a DJ... but it seems i lost it... Help Me... i can't seem to find motivation support anywhere what happened to the man i once were?.

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't worry buddy.

I think I have just what the doctor ordered.

Two posts you have to read and I'll edit them in for you both by backbreaker.

Here is the first one. Its very inspirational. A bit choppy of a read but its about how backbreaker clawed his way to success one step at a time.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=84433&highlight=backbreaker+oneitis

And here is the second one.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=129726

 

[Phyzzle]

Yeah, I think you're suffering from a "failure to lighten up."

I used to get ticked at people for calling me "weird", but fvck it, I am pretty weird.

You still have the high school mentality, but high school is a soap opera. College is a sit-com. Just take the nickname as a joke. Ever meet a fat guy named tiny? Now, you're gonna be the muscular, well dressed, confident, ever smiling guy named "wussbag". Who cares?

 

[Interceptor]

You need to focus on what YOU want to accomplish in YOUR Life.

You need to re examine what gets you excited. What is your passion?

What do you like to do for fun?

What type of woman excites you?

What kind of life do YOU want to LIVE?

Youdo need to go back to the gym. That is Number One.

You also have to start up your reading.
You have to go on a journey of Self Discovery.
You simply don't have a strong enough identity, and a strong enough desire for a major Goal in your life.
You really need to find this.
Because your desire will be helpful in creating your masculine and Mature Compass of Life.This is the inside machinery of your Soul.

This is what leads you on to fight when everything is bad or is going wrong.

If you don't have this Compass, an Internal Compass, you WILL be Lost. And you will continue to be Lost.
Andyou will continue to seek guidance and accpetance from others outsiode of yourself. Most of whom CANNOT give YOU what YOU NEED inside.


You need to develop a strong self image, a healthy Self IMage of yourself.
You need to have Goals. You must create the Drive, Amibition, and will power to succeed at these Goals.

You must realize that what you are experiencing is the process of life, and Maturing.
If you break NOW of all times, you are headed for a life of depression and misery.

Happiness is a CHOICE. (you are learning the hard way. like we all do)
Why?
Because it comes from the INSIDE, from your positive OUT LOOKmon YOUR LIFE.

You must develop the strength to NOT look at "what is". but look at it as "What it SHOULD BE." ("THIS is WHAT I WANT, NOT That!")
Why?

Becaue only YOU can create the Life YOU DESIRE.

It's ALL in YOUR HAnds.

All of it.
It always was. Life has a nasty habit of convincing us other wise, but don't buy into the "Illusion", THAT is for the Unenlightened masses. Are you a Leader? Or follower of someone ELSE's IDEAL and projections of yourSELF on YOU????!

What you experience now is all becasue of something superficial, because you haven't internalized the Principles of LIfe, these are the Principles of a Man, a Masculine Man..the True Don Juan.
That's why it's ridiculous to say "when I was being a DJ with her."
It's ludicrous.
When an immature boy says that he looks at it as being as though it is somethign you put on like a piece of othing, or popping a pill.

But it's not that.
Hence, you're failure.
What you are experiencing is the recognition that it was all superficial, and you WER NOT a True Don Juan.
You haven't internalized it. You cannot simply EXPECT to read some literature and PRESTO! Instant DJ for all time!
It doens't work that way. It never will. It never can.The effects are temporary.
What we want is what will last a lifetime and beyond.

That is the true ideal of living the life of a true DOn uan.

You have to find yourself. You have to become the BEST Self you can be.
You must leanr to have the power and will and the grand Desire to CREATE the Life YOU WANT.
And you must accept that there wil be people in all walskof life who will not accept your vision, and will try to force their vision of you on yoursefl, who will be close minded. And who will do wehat they can to bring you down, becaue those people are ignorant and will never have anythign but suffering and failure.
You must rise above all that.

 

[DJsomeday]

Thanks a lot guys you're right you all have helped me open my eyes and get back on the battle, specially you interceptor you're right i wasn't being DJ i was just being "artificial" but now that i think about it could it have been that i was my best self during that time? because i never used canned material i just used C&F that i came up with and took rejections well (i even said "ok i'll try to get rejected 10 times" in a club and to my surprise i got 5 dances with girls and just 3 rejections), i don't know i'd like you to think about it bcuz i felt it was me with a DJ frame of mind, as if had finally learned that i was truly the prize and all that, maybe that believe was totally ripped appart by the strenght of 4 horrible months lol.

Thanks a lot guys you're really helping me get through this, i'll continue doing my excersices since i think they're essential too and i'll try to be as positive as i can and develop this healthy self image of myself. thx a lot!.

If you have any more advice i'll gladly take it . thx!

 

[Being_the_Don]

You need to focus on what YOU want to accomplish in YOUR Life.

You need to re examine what gets you excited. What is your passion?

What do you like to do for fun?

What type of woman excites you?

What kind of life do YOU want to LIVE?

Youdo need to go back to the gym. That is Number One.

You also have to start up your reading.
You have to go on a journey of Self Discovery.
You simply don't have a strong enough identity, and a strong enough desire for a major Goal in your life.
You really need to find this.
Because your desire will be helpful in creating your masculine and Mature Compass of Life.This is the inside machinery of your Soul.

This is what leads you on to fight when everything is bad or is going wrong.

If you don't have this Compass, an Internal Compass, you WILL be Lost. And you will continue to be Lost.
Andyou will continue to seek guidance and accpetance from others outsiode of yourself. Most of whom CANNOT give YOU what YOU NEED inside.


You need to develop a strong self image, a healthy Self IMage of yourself.
You need to have Goals. You must create the Drive, Amibition, and will power to succeed at these Goals.

You must realize that what you are experiencing is the process of life, and Maturing.
If you break NOW of all times, you are headed for a life of depression and misery.

Happiness is a CHOICE. (you are learning the hard way. like we all do)
Why?
Because it comes from the INSIDE, from your positive OUT LOOKmon YOUR LIFE.

You must develop the strength to NOT look at "what is". but look at it as "What it SHOULD BE." ("THIS is WHAT I WANT, NOT That!")
Why?

Becaue only YOU can create the Life YOU DESIRE.

It's ALL in YOUR HAnds.

All of it.
It always was. Life has a nasty habit of convincing us other wise, but don't buy into the "Illusion", THAT is for the Unenlightened masses. Are you a Leader? Or follower of someone ELSE's IDEAL and projections of yourSELF on YOU????!

What you experience now is all becasue of something superficial, because you haven't internalized the Principles of LIfe, these are the Principles of a Man, a Masculine Man..the True Don Juan.
That's why it's ridiculous to say "when I was being a DJ with her."
It's ludicrous.
When an immature boy says that he looks at it as being as though it is somethign you put on like a piece of othing, or popping a pill.

But it's not that.
Hence, you're failure.
What you are experiencing is the recognition that it was all superficial, and you WER NOT a True Don Juan.
You haven't internalized it. You cannot simply EXPECT to read some literature and PRESTO! Instant DJ for all time!
It doens't work that way. It never will. It never can.The effects are temporary.
What we want is what will last a lifetime and beyond.

That is the true ideal of living the life of a true DOn uan.

You have to find yourself. You have to become the BEST Self you can be.
You must leanr to have the power and will and the grand Desire to CREATE the Life YOU WANT.
And you must accept that there wil be people in all walskof life who will not accept your vision, and will try to force their vision of you on yoursefl, who will be close minded. And who will do wehat they can to bring you down, becaue those people are ignorant and will never have anythign but suffering and failure.
You must rise above all that.

Well said and spot on.

 

[Being_the_Don]

You've got to believe in yourself. Interceptor made a lot of good points, you can't base your happiness on someone else. There will always be people who want you to fail and they'll do just about anything to destroy you. They'll tell lies, seek attempts to make you appear stupid so as to boost their own ego, talk about you behind your back, etc. And they'll even get some people to believe them. But you musn't let it get you down. We all have our ups and downs but we're born to follow our own path, to make our own life. If you follow others' views about what you should do and who you should be then you're saying that you have no right to your own life. You musn't think that way. There are wicked people who will try to control your life but that's because they realize that you are a THREAT to them. If you notice, some of these so called successful people have built themselves up on a house of cards that can be knocked over. And they don't want you to succeed because your success is their failure.

And don't talk yourself into thinking that everyone you meet is going to be bad. What I mean is, look at the things you like and want in life. Ask yourself why you want them and then go out and get them. Say you're attracted to a certain kind of woman. Ask yourself why. If it's just for superficial reasons you're not going to make it. BUT if what attracts you to this type of woman is real then go for her. If you get rejected then again think about what it is you want and go beyond what might be superficial. And those positive qualities that you're looking for in a certain kind of woman (eg the HB with a good heart) will motivate you to look for her and find her. So don't think that everyone is the same just because you meet people who want to diss you.

Know this: it is the dark side of human nature that enjoys the misery and suffering of others. So there will be no sympathy when you're down. Instead they'll feel happy and relieved of you allow them to decide how you're going to live your life. What you need to do is think about what matters to you. Tell yourself that you have self worth (say it out loud). You've been taught by a lot of people that your life is not important (that's why you gave yourself a bad nickname) so it's going to take a while to UN-learn those things and then teach yourself the opposite. And you'll still be going against those who want to drag you down. But that's when it comes down to the real fight. Which is stronger? Their desire to destroy you (which is motivated by fear)? or is your motivation to succeed more powerful? Only you will truly know the answer to that one but whichever wins out will decide the way you live your life. And many successful people have had to fight against the status quo but they've won out because their will was stronger than those who wanted to destroy them. And their names are the ones who will be rememebered for generations after generations to come while they nay-sayers and antagonists will be lost to obscurity. The global shakers are the ones who believe in themselves and follow their vision.

 

[Interceptor]

Everyone has to realize that all of your life is an experiment...

You must learn to accept the challenges, face them, and risk failure or an unwanted outcome in your life.

Here is the thing...

Life will present you with challenges. Difficulties so great, that you truly have no where to go. No one whom can understand what you feel, and no one that can get rid of the pain you feel.

We are used to popping a pill, or someone (if you were lucky enough to have caring and nurturing people aroudn you) that will try to sooth your pain, and help you get you back on track.

Many of us do not have these people. In fact, with society become more and more self centered, and magterialistic, it is starting to bore a hole in our Village /Tribal mentality. And that people will begin to pull away from others. Why? Becasue how can they help you if they cannot help themselves?

We often say "No Man is an Island."
Yet, more and more, we, as Men, find ourselve facing dilemmas in which NO ONE can tuly "help us" or "save us".

This is the Truth.
Plese read this.
This is the honest to God truth.

Many people are distracted from their Spirituality. Many people have become "disconnected" with themselves, and a connection to the Divine.
We are al here because we seek to thrive. To live our life in the fullest possible sense of the word.
We seek experiences.
Yet, we do not know just HOW to get them. To achieve that happines we sek in our lives.

The number one thing I see personally in others is Fear.
Fear and insecurity.
A feeling of "non connection" to others, and a feeling of not being Loved.
This disconnect you feel is real. You may ignore it. You may downplay its importance and impact on your life.
But it is there.
We don't feel connection, we don't feel Loved.We don't feel connected and accepted.
So we seek our (inner) Happiness, in the External. We seek External Validation. We seek others to approve of us. For others to give us their Permission.
But see, this is ALL WRONG.
It is wrong. It is an incorrect view of Life, Spirituality, your Purpose on Earth, and the Divine guidance that you seek here while on the Earth.
Listen to this.
the reason you do NOT feel Loved, truly Loved is because you have not filled yourself with Love first. You feel empty. So you seek others to fill it for you.
For them to take on the responsibility to make YOU Happy. Yet they themselves cannot even make themselves Happy. Many people have no idea of their purpose in Life. No idea of who they really are. Only a connection to material things is what gives them an identuity. They seek out others ro DEFINE THEM.
Your purpose inthis life, while you are hrer is to find you r very own Happiness.
To seek out the experiences that YOU PERSONALLY want ot experience.
They may be somewhat morally ambigious. Some of you may really deep done want to experience things that make others uncomfortable. Some of you may just want to experience something like like Mt. Everest. Or simply finding True Love.
But many of us are AFRAID. Yes, dep down AFRAID of making decisions, Because the cost ios too great if we "fail". So we do nothing. And suffer in silence. We have no courage to do what we want. So we follow an "Order" we follow what others do, so we don't face ridicule,and we have a false sense of "security".

I want you to know something.
Your Parents were not prepared to teach you that which you NEED to know. Neither can school. Nor can you friends, or a pretty girl that you "like". You are already complete. No one can complete yuo, you are already complete. What you are NOT is Self Realized. In that, you don't REALIZE WHO you are, WHAT you HAVE, and WHAT YOU CAN DO IN THIS LIFE!
When I say that every Male on here MUST go on a Journey of Self Discovery to become a MAN...this is the Truth. No joke.
This is your salvation.
Because without the experiences that formulate your thoughts, and build the foundation for your Internal Compass, you will continue to go around in circles. Inm an endless exercise of neediness, and external validation, and ultimately...misery , depression, and unhappiness.
Because you didn't realize the Work that NEEDS to be done. The importance and expectation of going to school, getting that degree, and getting a job to over ALL OTHER necessaeties for YOU LIfe. these well meaning aadvice from years past cannot possibly deal with the complexity of your own true nature within.

In that...a cookie cutter advie given to you in an age of infinite complexity cannot account for all the events and experiences and wants, desires, and personal NEEDS that YOU and YOU ALONE Have.
Do you understand??
Do you see why (at least in the MM Forum room) we consistently use the phrase "disconnect from the Matrix"?
It is meant for real. It is the truth. It is the understanding that Society by and large is an entire illusion from which YOU , in order to be truly Happy within yourself, MUST Disconenct from.
Yes, I said it. Disconnect from.
You cannot buy into the illusion anymore. because to live in that illusion is to waste time. Valueable time. Time which you cannot recuperate ever again.
You will be wasting valueable time , energy, money, and ohysical and mental energy trying to live up to someone ELSE's standarda dn expectations of you.
Because that is what we have done toourselves.
We have extracted any notion of Spirituality, and true calling and Purpose, and replaced it with distraction. Total distraction from your Happiness.
Now...knowing what you know about life. Knowing the difficulties you personally have experienced, and that of your parents and their parents, can you honestly say that it is a good thing to distract yourself from your very OWN HAPPINESS?
No. It defies logic.
Yet, guess what? This is the horror we have inflicted on ourselves.
And many men at an advanced age realzie this later on in their life, and realize all the timethey had wasted on stupid pursuits of stupid women, stupid careers, and stupid pandering, and stupid advice, and stupid distractions.....
Stupid.
If you understood the magnitude of what I am telling you you would understand this old Buddhist tale:

A young Monk went to an Abbot in the Shaolin Monastery and spoke to him about suffering and the meaning of life. And how to accelerate his learning and deep understanding so that he can surpass all the suffering as quickly as he can, even surpassing his "inevitabvle karma" that he was destined to experience. The Abbot took him to a fountain and told him to look deep into the fountain, into the boottom of the water. The young monk bent over and peered deeply into the water, the Abbot then seized the back of the young man's head and pushed it into the water. The young man began struggling and began drowning, the abbot then released his head and let him up. Gasping for air the Monk exclaimed "Why did you do that???!! I could have died!!"
The Abbot calmly looked at the young man and said "Do you see? Do you see just how strongly you must pursue your enlightenment? For it must be with the desperation of imminent death that you must put in all your mental and physical effort to gain the knowledge that can save you from ultimate misery. With that sense of fear, and despseration, and powerful INTENT must you to seek out knowledge and improve and surpass the human biondage in this life. With that powerul intent that you have just experienced..must you apply in your life."


The experience you wish to have, and the life you wish to lead can only be accomplished by you.

By You.
Only You.

No one can "give" that which you need. You have to create it.
You will slowly realize this with every breakup, every "failure", every argument, and every loss.
Life will give you (false) "evidence" that Life is hard, a struggle, and despairing is natural. Love is Scarce. Happines is fleeting. An Wisdom is useless in this day and age. No one can truly be happy. And if you deviate from the Norm, you're a weirdo.
Yet it is all a lie.
Because this all stems from a lack of seeing the Big Picture. Of not realzing your Dreams, Passions, and Purpose in Life. Of not realizing your purpose in coming here, and the Love you already have inside yourSELF.
Other wise we are all a million crazy , neurotic ants climbing on top of each other each trying to steal away a piece of a crumb from another.

Are you this?
Are you an ant?
Do you see how nothing, not even your good and well meaning parents can MAKE you a Man??

Experiences. The experiences YOU have created. And the intellect and wisdom gained from thse experiences. This builds COURAGE.
This buiilds CONVICTION.
This builds PERSEVERANCE.
This builds RESOLVE.
This makes a Man.
And this is how you have forge yourself, with your Internal Compass which will lead you to wise decisions in your life.

 

[DJsomeday]

Thanks interceptor that was a very good post, you too Being_The_Don, thanks to everyone who replied on this thread i'm gonna keep improving myself and recovering my selfsteem, i don't need validation from everyone, just myself! if i'm ok for me nothing else matters !. Thanks guys!.

I'll also think about what i REALLY want out of life!.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Are you a freshman in HS?

 

[DJsomeday]

college, but i was total AFC till october las month

 

[Last Man Standing]

Your life as a man didn't begin yet - relax!! You just started college - many years ahead to socialize in this setting. Join a frat or some other club if you want to be around people and make friends.