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Fellas, What's Your Take on: Either Go For Many Girls or for None

Zodiac

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EvilAgenda said:
Subtext is: Never go for just ONE girl.

1) Can some wiser guys explain this? Maybe share some experiences on what this means.

2) Should this continue to be in the DJ Bible?

Appreciate your help.
1) If a girl flakes you can still call up another girl. This also allows you to not have the "all eggs in one basket" mentality loads of guys seem to have. For instance I've had a few girls cancel on me in my lifetime. After the cancel happened I gave a call to plate 2, she was busy, then called plate 3 and changed a cancel into something good.

2) Yes. Helps guys realize that by putting all eggs in one basket you end up having a girl cancel at least once or twice in your lifetime thus ruining a night by not having many options open. The more options open the more chances you have when a girl flakes.
 

Aaron B

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The idea of "going for" a woman is flawed. So we're starting off on the wrong foot at the very outset by thinking in those terms.

We are providing her with an opportunity to spend time with us and get to know us. Nothing more, nothing less.

Our motivator for providing her with this opportunity is our p.ussy preoccupation - our strong sexual desire for women.

Without the p.ussy preoccupation, we wouldn't be offering her the opportunity in the first place.

Social pressure and the desire to not be perceived negatively by our peers often leads us to deny our basic nature and pretty soon we ourselves actually believe that we are talking to this girl because she's smart and pretty and funny and has a nice smile. That's part of it of course. But it will never be THE REASON why we overcame our fears and approached her.

Even if we "go for" that particular girl and "win" her she will not be the end result. The chances of us marrying her and being with her for the rest of our lives are so remote they may as well not even exist.

Yet so many of us want to operate under this fantasy that if only this one girl will see how wonderful we are and take us in, that now we won't ever have to worry about all this nonsense that we have to experience just to satisfy our ***** preoccupation. SO maybe if we put all our eggs in one basket, take the big gamble, put ourselves out there, that it will pay off and this part of who we are can now safely be filed away and not be dealt with anymore. That type of thinking is pure fantasy.

One girl can satisfy our p.ussy preoccupation for a time if that's what we choose and if she meets our criteria.

Logically, it's a simple exercise to demonstrate that meeting many women is necessary and that seeing a particular woman as "the one" who can solve our p.ussy preoccupation is flawed.

We like to think of ourselves as logical and rational, but when it comes to dating and relationships we employ a lot of flawed thinking.
 

EvilAgenda

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After the cancel happened I gave a call to plate 2, she was busy, then called plate 3 and changed a cancel into something good.
And if you want more than meaningless sex with your many plates? Would you get rid of others and make a decision to be with just 1?

We are providing her with an opportunity to spend time with us and get to know us. Nothing more, nothing less.
I thought "going for" meant going further than just providing her with an opportunity to spend time with us. Talking and spending time with other girls is fine. "Going for" many girls I see as something different than just providing them with an opportunity to share time together.

The chances of us marrying her and being with her for the rest of our lives are so remote they may as well not even exist.
Aaron, then what is the entire point of marriage? Why people marry if chances are so much against them. Sure, some people are stupid and rush into it, and divorce follows swiftly. But I see Don Juans on here getting married, and staying happy. Wonder at what point they cut off all the plates to be with just one.
 

sighsigh

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Spinning plates is just a mechanism to help prevent you from being needy. You can't possibly develop oneitis if you are going after more than one girl.
 

bigneil

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True, but once you find a steady girl who you like, spinning plates becomes being unfaithfulness. IMO spinning plates is mainly for the early stage of dating. At that stage you can (and should) tell them about your other dates. They are intrigued but not jealous at that point. Once you are having steady sex, talking about dating other women becomes hurtful.
 

Jeffst1980

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bigneil said:
True, but once you find a steady girl who you like, spinning plates becomes being unfaithfulness. IMO spinning plates is mainly for the early stage of dating. At that stage you can (and should) tell them about your other dates. They are intrigued but not jealous at that point. Once you are having steady sex, talking about dating other women becomes hurtful.

This has some truth to it. Plates don't spin forever- after about 3 months, you WILL receive an ultimatum to either become exclusive, or pack your bags.

To correctly spin plates, you must get used to the idea that ALL of these plates have an expiration date- even the ones you really like. This is hard to do in the moment, of course, but realize that relationships exist to lead to marriage, and marriage exists to lead to procreation. If you're not yet ready to head down that road, there's no reason to ever get involved in a relationship in the first place.

I've definitely come across girls that were not ok with this arrangement. Most view sex as a commitment, and even if they are ok with not putting a label on things, sex IS the relationship. The only way to circumvent this is to refuse to do relationship-oriented stuff and see her no more once a week.
 

sexysuave

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Originally Posted by EvilAgenda

Subtext is: Never go for just ONE girl.

1) Can some wiser guys explain this? Maybe share some experiences on what this means.

2) Should this continue to be in the DJ Bible?
What's up Evil.. thanks again for participating in our fantasy football last year :)

1) In addition to the things mentioned already, it is mainly about the mindset. I don’t agree that it’s only for the “few times in life you get stood up”. These instances are not that important on the grand scheme of things that they can be used as the main reason. The main reason is: you act different when you’re “spinning plates” and you come off as more attractive to the female gender and are way more carefree and develop that “I don’t’ give a f**k” attitude.

I’ve been fortunate enough to always have the spinning plates attitude, even from the early teens. Every now and then you will come across that roadblock that will take you off course, and when that happens, you deal with that. It might turn out to be something really special, or it may turn out in some relationship experience that ends prior to marriage. Either way, it’s life, enjoy all the experiences, spinning plates and relationships, just make sure you’re having fun and learning a few things along the way.

When you have that attitude that you freely go after MANY girls, you start caring a lot less about the outcome of each situation. (I know, it’s been said here that going “after” girls is not the right mind state, but if you’re going to be meeting many girls, you do have to get out there and meet them and LEAD things. I would hate for this “don’t’ go after them” mindset to be a crutch and an excuse not to put in adequate effort and time into picking up girls. Sure, we want to have the attitude that they are the lucky ones to have an opportunity with us, but you have to actually lead the entire process, from the first meeting to the “close”, so in that sense, your game plan is action-oriented; yes you are going out to get them, and yes, they are lucky for you to pick them, or at least that’s the image you want them to have.)

This is an age old example by now, but let’s say you’re going to the mall and you end up talking to 15 girls, and 10 of them don’t give you their number. Are you gonna be worried about all those “no thanks”, or are you gonna be EXCITED about the 5 numbers you actually got? Exactly, you’ll be thrilled with the 5 numbers you got and won’t even sweat all the ones that for whatever reason won’t give you their number. If you do this every day, you don’t care AT ALL when a girl is unavailable, you’re just excited about all the hits you’re getting :). Now you can translate this into further examples of “dating” and what not, it’s the same thing. You’re acting more aloof and relaxed and not putting too much importance on any situation, and they LOVE that. They love the fact that you’re not overly obsessing over everything and couldn’t give damn one way or another if they throw any kinda little hissy fits; it’s all fun and games to you and you just laugh at it. You f*ck them silly, have fun, laugh and tease with them, and then disappear. You don’t take life too seriously, and they’re enjoying this.
 

sexysuave

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continued

Originally Posted by Jeffst1980

This has some truth to it. Plates don't spin forever- after about 3 months, you WILL receive an ultimatum to either become exclusive, or pack your bags.

To correctly spin plates, you must get used to the idea that ALL of these plates have an expiration date- even the ones you really like. This is hard to do in the moment, of course, but realize that relationships exist to lead to marriage, and marriage exists to lead to procreation. If you're not yet ready to head down that road, there's no reason to ever get involved in a relationship in the first place.

I've definitely come across girls that were not ok with this arrangement. Most view sex as a commitment, and even if they are ok with not putting a label on things, sex IS the relationship. The only way to circumvent this is to refuse to do relationship-oriented stuff and see her no more once a week.
This can be true, but not all the time. You CAN successfully spin a plate for a LONG time, as long as the circumstances are right. For example, what you saying is true if this is a regular plate that you see a few times a week and perhaps talk to or text a few times a week. In that case, there will be more pressure after about 3 months or so to become exclusive or in a relationship or whatever you wanna call it. However, one can get around this by limiting contact and communication with you plate. The trick is, when you get them, make sure you rock their world, and do it a few times to the point where they know for sure that you can satisfy them and think naughty thoughs when they think of you.

Next, you can see her absolutely no more than once a week, and keep decreasing the number. Oh, and this also means no contact, no texting around, no phone calls, nothing, you just see them, rock their world, and you’re on your way. You can start decreasing this number to once every two weeks, and down to once a month. And if you’re successful with that, you can drop it down to once a quarter, and quite honestly even once every half a year or so, and if you’re really good even to once a year lol.

I have done this with many girls, to the point where I always had a rotation that kept growing in variety, but decreasing in how often I see them. This way, you have ample time to keep meeting new girls, while you keep some of your best ones in a rotation and even though they only see you once a month or once every few months, they’re still happy to see you because you’re a proven “good time” and they don’t’ have to worry about any consequences.. (in other words, no one has ever questioned them about you and they have never been “caught”, so in this way, they can have whatever type of life they usually have in their day to day routine… you’re only there a few times a year, and you provide a good time.. quite honestly, some of these girls I had no idea what they had going on in their life, I didn’t question them really, just made sure they had a good time with me and that’s that.. every now and then some of them will get curious and try to ask questions, but you just play it off and don’t give in.. Hell, I had one girl that I never even knew her name lol EVER,, when I met her I introduced my self as “james bond” (long story, was playful), and she introduced her self as “redhead”, and we never ever even exchanged real names.. we just met a few times a year for a good time and that was that..)

I’m off the market now but still there are some of these old plates that e-mail me or find me one way or another (I change my number every time I’m in a serious relationship, for obvious reasons lol). So over the years, some plates may disappear for an amount of time, and then they may come back all of a sudden and you get to have fun with them again. I don’t usually inquire why or what, but sometimes it’s probably that they either found someone special and then it didn’t work out so they come back, or maybe it’s because they started feeling guilty about cheating on their significant others so they stopped and then come back again either because they’re not with them anymore, or simply because they don’t feel guilty anymore. (trust me, girls can be really weird and their morals and ideals change like the wind sometimes, this is why you don’t let anything bother you and you enjoy them while they’re there and don’t trip of them if they’re not available anymore, because it’s probably just a matter of time before they come back … provided that the sex is good, of course lol.. which is why I keep saying, make sure you do ‘em good!

Also, don’t get me wrong, THIS WILL NOT WORK 100%, in other words, you can’t convert every plate to a few times a year plate. You WILL lose some plates if you go this route simply because, as others have put it, some girls just don’t want that and may be looking for something more serious. But once again, this is the beauty of this thinking, you don’t care one way or the other! You’re dealing with numbers so large (usually over 10 plates), that it doesn’t matter if some new chick is not down with seeing you once every two weeks lol.. because trust me, you will meet others that will be ok with this (once again, provided that you do them good and don’t start your interactions with the “relationship” mindset, but move into physical and sex fairly quickly and LIMIT your interactions from the get go.. be unavailable, do not text or call her more than once a week, period, and they won’t even have a chance to start feeling “boyfriend” feelings for you.. I personally know that this can be done, because as I’ve said, when I’m single, that’s the life I’m living.. you’ve just got to develop that mindset..

Also, it doesn’t hurt to be in a big town. I’ve lived in bigger cities for the most part (including now) and have also stayed in smaller cities (most recently Idaho in mid 2000s) for a few years, and let me tell you, it is a LOT easier to do this type of thing in a big city. I’m not saying don’t do it in a smaller town, but it becomes much more difficult to stay discrete in a smaller town and plenty of other things that can be in your way too (girls get married ridiculously young and most are off the market lol).. If you’re stuck in a small city where everyone grew up together and everyone has their little cliques and is already married or been with their girl for their entire lifes, and this is not what you want or you’re not having the type of success you want, just go move to a bigger city. I’ve had the same amount of game if not more in Idaho as I did before moving there (in bay area, Cali), and it’s a huge difference.. dealing with 8 million people and 200,000 makes for a drastic difference in opportunities.. some bigger cities are gold mines for pick up.. you can build a rotation of up to 15-20 girls and still keep meeting new ones, and eventually have to drop some girls off the rotation, put them on waivers so other teams can pick them up lol because you have no more spots on your roster lol..

Anyway, I’m sure I got off topic once again.. but that’s my two cents.. it’s good for business to keep spinning plates when not in a relationship.. it will also help you WHILE in a relationship (the mindset of spinning plates that is, not actually doing it if you've got a serious gf, fiance, or wife, so you're on your own there just so we're clear lol.. that's your own decision to make), but later on while IN relationship it will help you because you know DEEP DOWN, that if for whatever reason your relationship doesn’t work out, you will be OK. You KNOW you can meet new girls, and simply knowing this will make you more of a catch as you will not put up with anyone’s sh*t and your girl will respect you more for it. I’ve even had girls say “I feel like if I walked away, you would be just fine” and this bothered them, but I guess deep down they knew that I wouldn’t trip either way if they decided to leave, and it just makes you more of a catch.

Oh, and I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but another reason why it’s good to spin plates while you’re single is because you actually can build momentum and go on crazy hot steaks! I mean this, I’ve had things happen to me that are beyond belief, and if I wrote here about them I’m sure guys would say “yeah right, no way that happened”, and I know this because a few of the stories I have, if someone else told me that story I would be like “whatever man, that’s just too crazy, no way that happened and no way you pulled that off” lol so I don’t’ even talk about those and have only shared them with my brother and couple of closest friends that do pickup.
 
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sexysuave

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continued

But these ultra successful hot streaks only happened while I was already spinning 10+ plates and going out there like a man on a mission and just having fun and meeting girls all the time. It is true that the best time to go get numbers is immediately after you’ve just gotten one. It is true that the best time to pick up girls is immediately after you’ve already picked some up. If you’ve ever played sports, I’m sure there is a time you were in “the zone” and every shot you shoot seems to hit nothing but the bottom of the net. It’s kinda like that, success inspires success, and when you get a few successful sreaks going, it is just a matter of time where “luck” will be on your side and you will have downright stupid luck and girls being thrown at you and meeting them at the most random places, from gas stations to grocery stores to airplanes to car washes lol.. hotels.. anywhere.. Enjoy those while they last..

Ok ok, that’s good enough,, so pretty much, yes, it is a good idea to run plates while you’re single.. and the number of plates you can run and how long you can run them is dependent on the amount of contact you have with them and also on GREAT SEX,.. you absolutely have to rock their world, so that’s like the foundation.. then you limit contact and they have no choice but to see you as NOT a relationship material but someone that they have fun with, so they put no relationship expectations on you but you get to enjoy their body to the fullest while they’re around.. you can talk them into doing any kinds of crazy sh*t with you, that they haven’t done before and may not do with their regular boyfriend or whatever the heck it is they got going on in their daily routine lives.. lol

PS.. Jeff1980, I just realized that in your last sentence you did mention the "no relationship stuff, no contact more than once a week", so my bad, I missed that part.. you've managed to say in one sentece what took me 30 pages to blabber out lol
 
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