Hello,
This is my first post here. Some background: I graduated from college a year ago and broke up with a girlfriend of 2+ yrs about a month ago. I live/work in the city (SF) now and am trying to approach women and get better at it. Mind you, I have not deliberately been approaching women for 2 years and never in this city.
I now see that things were so much easier in college when (literally) all that was necessary during summers was to go to pool parties in the backyard of the dorm in swimming trunks and flex my abs a bit. Or invite girls to team up against me in billiards. I have been looking around in the city for opportunities to meet women and something strikes me:
The people in this city, especially young people, seem to avoid each other as efficiently as possible in public. Every lone person makes sure to pick a spot that is as evenly spaced out and isolated from anyone else as possible. I see this in the subway,buses,coffeehouses, parks, etc. I have been keeping my eyes off my Blackberry and looking around and after 3 weeks of keeping stats whenever I am in public somewhere, I have observed a grand total of one man sitting down next to a strange, lone woman and talking to her.
In a local park that sees a flux of about 50 people/hour on weekends, I see dozens of lone men and lone women lounging around, the men looking around at the women, the women darting glances at the men, and never does a single one of these men approach. Ditto for large bookstores and coffeehouses.
I know this is stupid, but when one sees this pervasive pattern of behavior and almost no lone young men approaching lone young women that they clearly have noticed, one starts to feel a strange not socially acceptable vibe. Almost like the weirdness you might feel if you were to start pulling down your pants in public.
I don't have problems approaching women in situations that have a clear social backdrop like organizationally sponsored events, company sponsored happy hours, etc. - but those are hard to find in this city.
What do you guys think? Have you ever felt this? Any suggestions?
This is my first post here. Some background: I graduated from college a year ago and broke up with a girlfriend of 2+ yrs about a month ago. I live/work in the city (SF) now and am trying to approach women and get better at it. Mind you, I have not deliberately been approaching women for 2 years and never in this city.
I now see that things were so much easier in college when (literally) all that was necessary during summers was to go to pool parties in the backyard of the dorm in swimming trunks and flex my abs a bit. Or invite girls to team up against me in billiards. I have been looking around in the city for opportunities to meet women and something strikes me:
The people in this city, especially young people, seem to avoid each other as efficiently as possible in public. Every lone person makes sure to pick a spot that is as evenly spaced out and isolated from anyone else as possible. I see this in the subway,buses,coffeehouses, parks, etc. I have been keeping my eyes off my Blackberry and looking around and after 3 weeks of keeping stats whenever I am in public somewhere, I have observed a grand total of one man sitting down next to a strange, lone woman and talking to her.
In a local park that sees a flux of about 50 people/hour on weekends, I see dozens of lone men and lone women lounging around, the men looking around at the women, the women darting glances at the men, and never does a single one of these men approach. Ditto for large bookstores and coffeehouses.
I know this is stupid, but when one sees this pervasive pattern of behavior and almost no lone young men approaching lone young women that they clearly have noticed, one starts to feel a strange not socially acceptable vibe. Almost like the weirdness you might feel if you were to start pulling down your pants in public.
I don't have problems approaching women in situations that have a clear social backdrop like organizationally sponsored events, company sponsored happy hours, etc. - but those are hard to find in this city.
What do you guys think? Have you ever felt this? Any suggestions?