Feeling that you weren't good enough for women

[jhonny9546]

Have you ever had a feeling or a hunch that you weren't good enough for a woman?
Maybe she had something you were interested in, but somehow, you understood that she was interested in people of a certain kind, like those who would take her on trips or lead a certain lifestyle, and you wouldn't be willing to make that compromise just for a relationship with her.
This is just an example, but you may come with your own reason.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Who fvcking cares. Grow a pair and move on. In a few months, you will barely remember this woman.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Yes, in my teens. It stopped some time after my second girlfriend broke my heart too.
After that i realized it wasnt my fault and that i was born "good enough" for women in general. But only when i started not giving a shyt about what any one specific women thought about me i became successfull (per my own definition) with women.

 

[LTG71]

And by what metric is your “good enough” measured by? You have to value yourself and not put that in the hands of others. If that woman left, would you no longer qualify? What about the woman’s quality? Maybe she doesn‘t meet your standards. I get what you are saying, but women have it easier since guys standards are usually pretty basic. Women are spoiled with choice unless they got hit with the ugly stick. Do you want a chic that goes on random trips with rich guys or one that is happy walking in the park to hang out with you?

 

[Solomon]

Have you ever had a feeling or a hunch that you weren't good enough for a woman?
Maybe she had something you were interested in, but somehow, you understood that she was interested in people of a certain kind, like those who would take her on trips or lead a certain lifestyle, and you wouldn't be willing to make that compromise just for a relationship with her.
This is just an example, but you may come with your own reason.

Yes plenty of times when you were younger, then you get to a point you don't give a shyt, now I'm at a point where if a woman can't hold my interest, I get bored I don't care how pretty she is, there a few women I've met that have truly impressed me overall I mean not just with looks but also on a intecutall level, most women I have gone on dates with or even dated felt like I've had to dumb myself down

 

[The Duke]

This is what happens when you seek external validation to determine your worth.

I measure my value by my own yard stick, not someone elses who doesn't know me.

If they aren't buying what I'm selling, then we simply aren't a match. I pack up my goods and move down the street.

It says more about them and their inability to recognize greatness than it does me.

 

[Aguirre]

You need to stand up for yourself. Tell your mom you won’t pick up your toys and you don’t care if you’re grounded.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Attractive women are collectively expert at presenting themselves as scarce commodities to men to increase their bargaining power

A woman could be doing only fans in her spare time and still have the audacity to believe she's "high value" ,

This is where a lot of the " she's out of my leauge" stuff stems from in men.

A few years ago I approached a very attractive chick at my gym , it went pretty smoothly and she was very friendly and seemed to be interested.

I weighed the interaction up for a few hours and later messaged her on instagram in hindsight this was a big mistake because I revealed my hand way too quickly but I was excited a chick as hot as this was into me.

From there on she held all the aces and we embarked on a 6 month stint of catch-me-if- you- can , we did eventually have a date which again went well but she just knew she had me where she wanted me.

Women know men go weak for a pretty face & sexy body , if you can learn to ignore them two elements in her no woman will be out of your leauge.

Women are the same for money and power in men , they go weak for it

 

[BaronOfHair]

Have you ever had a feeling or a hunch that you weren't good enough for a woman?

Yeah, then I began distinguishing my thoughts from my emotions, recognized that my thoughts(about not just dating and mating, but damned near EVERYTHING)were extraordinarily distorted

 

[BadBoy89]

It says more about them and their inability to recognize greatness than it does me.

What is greatness?

 

[The Duke]

What is greatness?

ME! It's not all about them biatches like many think it is.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is what happens when you seek external validation to determine your worth.

Seeking external validation is hard wired into us by evolution. It's the default setting.

In hunter-gatherer societies, you lived and died by how much validation you got from others.

Of course, we can override our factory settings, but it's certainly a tough nut to crack.

It's certainly a lot more difficult (for most, maybe not @The Duke ) than simply deciding to not let it bother you.

But it is a very worthy goal to pursue.

Have you ever had a feeling or a hunch that you weren't good enough for a woman?

That antidote is to have plenty of women giving you positive signals, attraction, whatever, so the ones that don't can be more easily forgotten.

 

[The Duke]

Seeking external validation is hard wired into us by evolution. It's the default setting.

In hunter-gatherer societies, you lived and died by how much validation you got from others.

Of course, we can override our factory settings, but it's certainly a tough nut to crack.

It's certainly a lot more difficult (for most, maybe not @The Duke ) than simply deciding to not let it bother you.

But it is a very worthy goal to pursue.

It helps when you have some natural lone wolf and hunter instinct.

 

[Manure Spherian]

It's certainly a lot more difficult (for most, maybe not @The Duke ) than simply deciding to not let it bother you.

Generally speaking men’s self-esteem is jammed up in the valuation of the women they fancy, whether they admit it or not. Nothing makes men angrier than lack of women, whether they deny it or not. Hence why no matter what’s good in men’s lives, they will feel awful without women!

I applaud men who can shut off this biological desire for women’s desire! It sure makes life easier. So does a good marriage.

If this wasn’t about women’s desire and affection, then men would solve the sex dilemma by prostitution. Hence when I’ve suggested it by complaining men, they respond, “but I want da GBD, not just sex”.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Generally speaking men’s self-esteem is jammed up in the valuation of the women they fancy, whether they admit it or not. Nothing makes men angrier than lack of women, whether they deny it or not. Hence why no matter what’s good in men’s lives, they will feel awful without women!

I applaud men who can shut off this biological desire for women’s desire! It sure makes life easier. So does a good marriage.

If this wasn’t about women’s desire and affection, then men would solve the sex dilemma by prostitution. Hence when I’ve suggested it by complaining men, they respond, “but I want da GBD, not just sex”.

The key is not to have a scarcity mindset and making an opinion of "a" woman apply for all women.

 

[Manure Spherian]

The key is not to have a scarcity mindset and making an opinion of "a" woman apply for all women.

The above was written about a general framework.

Most men cannot have sexual-option abundance despite a mindset.

Womanless men feel like sh-t.

But yes, I do agree that men should not put stock in individual women who aren’t their wives or mothers of their children. Hence I cannot relate when some guys over 23 years old or so get sad about women who are neither (including “gf’s”).

 

[jhonny9546]

Great points, but what were your "awakening events" that made you lose this weakness and acquire the permanent IDGAF attitude? Or would you say it's an ongoing challenge?