Feeling Shame

[Freddy1]

Hi I'm new here guys.

I have this problem for a very long time and it has made my life miserable. I cant look women in the eyes. Mainly with strangers (women) on the street. I feel absolutley petrified if a woman notices me and thinks I may be interested in her (even if I'm interested in her).
I get this strong feeling of shame and embarassement. I'm a shame of being a guy.

(Most of my life I have felt uneasy about my looks because I'm a very skinny guy and a geek. I dont think those feelings has ever trully gone away. I tried everything to from body building to drinking those protein shakes to creatine supllements but it seems like an up hill battle. (maybe its genetics?) People have made comments about my skinny looks and I feel a shame of myself. )

Any advice?

 

[PeoplesChamp]

First of all you need to shift your locus of control man. You are talking about/blaming your genes, your body,ect. You need to believe you can tackle this problem. If you continue to believe you're the victim of circumstance and your evironment you'll never beat this issue. Start with your mindset. You have the power to choose your response to someone making eye contact with you. As for the skinny problem...You can gain weight so long as you take in more calories than you burn. The only thing that couldmake you an exception to this rule is if you have hyperthyriodism (if you think you might have it go to your Doc and get a blood test. If you don't know what it is google it) or if you are terminally ill with cancer, have a tapeworm, ect. If want something you've never had you have to be willing to do something you've never done. Go for it...no excuses.:cheer:

 

[darthsidious]

Don't worry, us skinny guys have a harder time gaining muscle than average/fat body types. I give props to any skinny guy that transforms his body into a medium build because the muscles a skinny guy gains is kept much longer than an average/fat body person from which their muscles deflate as they get older/lazier.

So word out to the skinny guys out there, you're better as long as you keep working out.

For more enthusiasm:

http://www.skinnyguy.net/

 

[Julian]

Ayo im a skinny mutha fvcka as well although pretty good looking (i think at least) and a good sense of style coupled with my egotistical sometimes megalomaniacal personality has brought me through tough times.

Honestly though bro, start lifting and eating right. you will feel so much better when you start noticing a difference in your physical appearance, it wont happen over night.

im sitting at like 130lbs homie but i dont give a damn my goal is to put on 50 lbs of muscle and metamorph into gladitorial barbarian ready to wage war against any muther fvcker who tries to destroy my livelihood.

edit - if you got the balls post a pic of yourself maybe we can give you some tips?

 

[Freddy1]

Thanks guys I owe you all a beer!
I feel alot better about it because I'm not alone on it.

As for a hyperthyroid condition. Actually I do have one but I have been thin in my entire life.


Oh dont know about the yee contact thing though. It stills scares the living daylights out of me. I just freeze and my breathing stops.


Any other suggests would be welcome of course.

 

[core]

you can't look them in the eyes because you are putting them 'above' yourself, you are seeing them as better than you and more important.
also you may be ashamed of your sexuality in a way, somewhere along the line you got it in your head that it was wrong to have sexual feelings for a woman and show that you are interested.

not looking people in the eyes is a sign of submission. work on your self confidence.

 

[Tazman]

I'm 5'5, 120 lbs (after a year of working out). People notice the changes in my body even if I don't see a whole lot of improvement as far as my weight. I'm a skinny muthafvcka. Guess that though, I still find cute girls who are attracted me. I used to have a problem with making eye contact, but I've practiced so much that it doesn't bother me as much anymore. Occasionally a woman will catch me off guard and win the staring contest, but you'll soon find out how easy it is to do.

I've noticed that you also get more IOI signals from women if you hold their gaze. I love winning the staring game, especially when you see them get nervous, makes you feel more confident. I'm currently working on winking if a girl stares at me long enough.

 

[Freddy1]

Originally posted by core
you can't look them in the eyes because you are putting them 'above' yourself, you are seeing them as better than you and more important.
also you may be ashamed of your sexuality in a way, somewhere along the line you got it in your head that it was wrong to have sexual feelings for a woman and show that you are interested.

not looking people in the eyes is a sign of submission. work on your self confidence.

Yeah your right. I do feel ashame of my sexuality.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Freddy1
Yeah your right. I do feel ashame of my sexuality.

Read this. Now.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28956



On a side note, time to post this again:

Originally posted by Mr. Fingers
2. THOU SHALL BECOME WORTHY.
You can’t pretend to be the prize, you gotta be able to look in the mirror and honestly say “I LOVE this guy!”. However, this does not mean you should have a large ego. In fact your ego is one of your biggest obstacles and you would do well to rid yourself of false pride. What I am saying is..why pretend to be a great person when you can actually BE one? Work hard to excel in all areas of life. (health, wealth, relationships) Make your dreams happen and most importantly, realize that happiness is a choice!

By the same token, don’t let self-improvement be an excuse not to handle your biz. It can be very easy to make excuses like “Let me get a good car first” or “let me lose/gain 10 pounds, THEN I will try this!” Don’t fall into this trap, cuz you will just keep procrastinating, looking for reasons not to get your game on.

As you read this post, scores of beautiful women are banging ugly losers who have no future. Why? Simply because these fellas didnt let their shortness/fatness/brokeness/etc keep them from going after what they wanted!

Improve on what you can (health, fitness, style) and embrace the things you cannot change (height, race, etc) Insecurity is an ugly thing, so confront the roots of your warped self image and banish this negativity from your mind. No excuses, dude! Only you can make yourself worthy of the best things in life!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56631

 

[Freddy1]

Diablo! I'm speachless on how to thank you!

I read some of it (I will read the whole thing rest assure).
I feel so much better. You know this part really hits me: "...Just as you thought the fat chick was not a woman, women will not think this Nerd Boy is a guy. Why? He isn’t fully Human." Oh Man! I must be a "Neard Boy"!!!

You are like the Don of Dons!

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

The one thought I'm left with after reading that entire "Embrace your sexuality" post is: Even if the androgynous girl embraced hers exuality, she'd still be a fat whale.

Similarly speaking, even if the nerd embarces his sexuality, he's still just a trekkie with a hardon.

 

[Freddy1]

- Learn to comprehend
- I dont think the article was about sci-fi neards (dont get me started on them).
- A fat whale PHYSICALLY is still a fat whale and if you actually comprehend the article its not about fat whales embracing their sexuality. Good looks are more important to guys than to women.
Women are more willing to overlook bad looks on guys.


But then again a REAL MAN dont live at home, he has his own home, has brains, good looks, wit, humor and makes lots of money.