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Feeling really depressed/Baby momma wants full custody

Baibars

Senior Don Juan
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Hey guys,

so i have 2 kids and i don't see them since summer 2020 because my baby momma is a bpd crazy chick who tried to make my live to hell. I did go full no contact and decided to set up a schedule for the kids through lawyer.

So i went to the lawyer and the lawyer told me that he will send my bm an letter she has to sign. The letter basically says that i can see my kids every other weekend.

She didn't sign the letter and contacted a lawyer herself. Her lawyeralso sent me a letter. She wants full custody for both kids and wants me to sign that sh*t.

She also claims that i was physically and mentally abusive towards her and the kids which is not true. As i said i don't even talk to that witch since last summer and i don't want to beat her up or some bs.

Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left. Why the f*ck was she constantly leaving the kids with me when she was visitting chad/tyrone at the weekends if i'm abusive?

She was the one who was psychologically abusive that's why i went no contact and i'm happy with that decision. I really can't understand this hate towards me since i did everything for this woman. I'm not trying to justify my former simp behaviour but i wasn't abusive. She was the one that was in control all the time and when i decided to set up boundaries and live my own life, she started hating me even more.

Of course i will talk to my lawyer about the coming steps but when i received this fckng letter from HER lawyer it hit me hard mentally. They want to take my kids and they want me to sign that sh*t. If i was that fcking abusive i would react by driving to her place and beathing sht out of her but im not such a person. I dont even want to talk to her that makes no sense..
 

KindredSpiritzz

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don't sign sh*t. You go back before a judge and he'll assign regular visitation rights. Id suggest going after 50-50 custody so you dont have to pay child support for the next decade or more. Regardless, dont sign anything and make your case in front of a judge. Courts are finally starting to come around to the plight of fathers and giving us more of a fair shake than they did 20 yrs ago.
She cant keep you from seeing your kid in all but the most extreme circumstances
 

xplt

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Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left.
I think she lost her credibility in correlation to the abuse accusations here. Which mother leaves her kids unattended with an abuser? Which mother leaves her kids unattended in front of a house without knowing, if you're home? I hope for you, she screwed herself there so you can calm down and get your sanity back.
 

Bible_Belt

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Ask your lawyer if your state will award back child support. I knew a guy whose baby momma ran off with his kid for ten years, then came back and stuck him for $25k in back child support.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Hey guys,

so i have 2 kids and i don't see them since summer 2020 because my baby momma is a bpd crazy chick who tried to make my live to hell. I did go full no contact and decided to set up a schedule for the kids through lawyer.

So i went to the lawyer and the lawyer told me that he will send my bm an letter she has to sign. The letter basically says that i can see my kids every other weekend.

She didn't sign the letter and contacted a lawyer herself. Her lawyeralso sent me a letter. She wants full custody for both kids and wants me to sign that sh*t.

She also claims that i was physically and mentally abusive towards her and the kids which is not true. As i said i don't even talk to that witch since last summer and i don't want to beat her up or some bs.

Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left. Why the f*ck was she constantly leaving the kids with me when she was visitting chad/tyrone at the weekends if i'm abusive?

She was the one who was psychologically abusive that's why i went no contact and i'm happy with that decision. I really can't understand this hate towards me since i did everything for this woman. I'm not trying to justify my former simp behaviour but i wasn't abusive. She was the one that was in control all the time and when i decided to set up boundaries and live my own life, she started hating me even more.

Of course i will talk to my lawyer about the coming steps but when i received this fckng letter from HER lawyer it hit me hard mentally. They want to take my kids and they want me to sign that sh*t. If i was that fcking abusive i would react by driving to her place and beathing sht out of her but im not such a person. I dont even want to talk to her that makes no sense..
Hi brother,

First off, don't sign ANYTHING.

Secondly, be strong and hang in there. Your children deserve the best of you, and this is a time where you will need to be at your best. Fight brother, fight with all of your might! Know that you have people, whether physically or digitally present, that can walk alongside you.

Important: Any legal matter should always be counseled with a professional that knows the law.

We remember giving similar advice in a post about a similar situation, and we will advise the same thing. Be really careful to state anything online that might be used against you because it will. This should most times, if not always, be dealt with privately and professionally.

Now if it comes to finding moral support and mindset advice, most of us can and will do that because we care for men's rights. It is not fair that most men lose child custody sometimes for fair reasons but most often than not because laws protect women and not men. And we are disgusted by that.

Continue to work with your lawyer and live a life full of purpose and character. Your kids will need a father that has his life together, be financially strong and stable, add value to the community (volunteering opportunities), grow your self through personal development, read books on various topics (including matters like this), so that when you speak to a lawyer, ex, or even judge they sense a man with a head on his shoulders.

Focus on what you can control for now, and those are your actions, words, thought life, etc. Whatever you focus on grows, so focus on the positives, not the negatives or what your ex does or does not do.

Having said that, it wouldn't be a bad idea to record every interaction with her. If she is bat crazy, she will inflict damage to her reputation at some point sooner or later. And you can use that in a court of law.

We are here for you and will walk alongside you during this if you need us.


Modern Man Advice
 
Last edited:

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Barrister

Master Don Juan
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Hey guys,

so i have 2 kids and i don't see them since summer 2020 because my baby momma is a bpd crazy chick who tried to make my live to hell. I did go full no contact and decided to set up a schedule for the kids through lawyer.

So i went to the lawyer and the lawyer told me that he will send my bm an letter she has to sign. The letter basically says that i can see my kids every other weekend.

She didn't sign the letter and contacted a lawyer herself. Her lawyeralso sent me a letter. She wants full custody for both kids and wants me to sign that sh*t.

She also claims that i was physically and mentally abusive towards her and the kids which is not true. As i said i don't even talk to that witch since last summer and i don't want to beat her up or some bs.

Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left. Why the f*ck was she constantly leaving the kids with me when she was visitting chad/tyrone at the weekends if i'm abusive?

She was the one who was psychologically abusive that's why i went no contact and i'm happy with that decision. I really can't understand this hate towards me since i did everything for this woman. I'm not trying to justify my former simp behaviour but i wasn't abusive. She was the one that was in control all the time and when i decided to set up boundaries and live my own life, she started hating me even more.

Of course i will talk to my lawyer about the coming steps but when i received this fckng letter from HER lawyer it hit me hard mentally. They want to take my kids and they want me to sign that sh*t. If i was that fcking abusive i would react by driving to her place and beathing sht out of her but im not such a person. I dont even want to talk to her that makes no sense..
These things are a long process. It will be mentally draining but you will get through it. Every jurisdiction is different but you are likely heading for either a GAL and/or custody evaluation. If your ex is as bat sh1t nuts as you claim these people deal with it often enough they will pick up on it. Stay strong, brother.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
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Having said that, it wouldn't be a bad idea to record every interaction with her. If she is bat crazy, she will inflict damage to her reputation at some point sooner or later. And you can use that in a court of law.
Just fyi that is a felony wiretap in illinois. (Law was created to protect corrupt politicians taking bribes) There are I think 12 two party consent states, in which you must tell the other person that you are recording them. Idk where the op lives but everyone should always check their state laws before recording anyone.
 

xplt

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Just fyi that is a felony wiretap in illinois. (Law was created to protect corrupt politicians taking bribes) There are I think 12 two party consent states, in which you must tell the other person that you are recording them. Idk where the op lives but everyone should always check their state laws before recording anyone.
European law for privacy protection i.e. handles unanounced recordings of phone conversations as illegal and chargeable
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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Hey guys,

so i have 2 kids and i don't see them since summer 2020 because my baby momma is a bpd crazy chick who tried to make my live to hell. I did go full no contact and decided to set up a schedule for the kids through lawyer.

So i went to the lawyer and the lawyer told me that he will send my bm an letter she has to sign. The letter basically says that i can see my kids every other weekend.

She didn't sign the letter and contacted a lawyer herself. Her lawyeralso sent me a letter. She wants full custody for both kids and wants me to sign that sh*t.

She also claims that i was physically and mentally abusive towards her and the kids which is not true. As i said i don't even talk to that witch since last summer and i don't want to beat her up or some bs.

Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left. Why the f*ck was she constantly leaving the kids with me when she was visitting chad/tyrone at the weekends if i'm abusive?

She was the one who was psychologically abusive that's why i went no contact and i'm happy with that decision. I really can't understand this hate towards me since i did everything for this woman. I'm not trying to justify my former simp behaviour but i wasn't abusive. She was the one that was in control all the time and when i decided to set up boundaries and live my own life, she started hating me even more.

Of course i will talk to my lawyer about the coming steps but when i received this fckng letter from HER lawyer it hit me hard mentally. They want to take my kids and they want me to sign that sh*t. If i was that fcking abusive i would react by driving to her place and beathing sht out of her but im not such a person. I dont even want to talk to her that makes no sense..
Jesus Christ! This is why I always wear a condom.
 

Baibars

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Thanks for your responses. The letter from her lawyer shocked me in the beginning but I should’ve known that she would react like that and wouldn’t cooperate.
It’s pretty obvious that she wants to hurt me because her response to a simple document regarding a visitation right agreement is so exaggerated.
- They want to take all my parental rights and want me to sign it, if not they threaten me with further actions by them.
- They claim that I’m physically/mentally abusive and that my children don’t want to see me
- she would only discuss a visitation agreement with me when another person is present so she is secure

As I said I cut off all contact since last summer due to many reasons. I decided to contact a lawyer because many experienced guys advised me to do it.
I wasn’t abusive. Of course I didn’t act 100% correct all the time but it’s not easy if you have to deal with a person who insults you and disrespects you all the time. I decided to keep my self respect and move on. Then I went to the lawyer because I still want to see my children.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
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Thanks for your responses. The letter from her lawyer shocked me in the beginning but I should’ve known that she would react like that and wouldn’t cooperate.
It’s pretty obvious that she wants to hurt me because her response to a simple document regarding a visitation right agreement is so exaggerated.
- They want to take all my parental rights and want me to sign it, if not they threaten me with further actions by them.
- They claim that I’m physically/mentally abusive and that my children don’t want to see me
- she would only discuss a visitation agreement with me when another person is present so she is secure

As I said I cut off all contact since last summer due to many reasons. I decided to contact a lawyer because many experienced guys advised me to do it.
I wasn’t abusive. Of course I didn’t act 100% correct all the time but it’s not easy if you have to deal with a person who insults you and disrespects you all the time. I decided to keep my self respect and move on. Then I went to the lawyer because I still want to see my children.
If you didn't have children my advice would be to cut this woman out of your life forever. Unfortunately that's not possible once you have children, but you may want to consider how to minimise contact with her because of her negative impact on your life.

Don't go signing papers that give up your rights because of threats.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Just fyi that is a felony wiretap in illinois. (Law was created to protect corrupt politicians taking bribes) There are I think 12 two party consent states, in which you must tell the other person that you are recording them. Idk where the op lives but everyone should always check their state laws before recording anyone.
Thanks for pointing that out man. Like we said, always work with a lawyer that knows the law in your state or wherever you live.

Modern Man Advice
 

returnofpigman

Don Juan
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Colorado
Hey guys,

so i have 2 kids and i don't see them since summer 2020 because my baby momma is a bpd crazy chick who tried to make my live to hell. I did go full no contact and decided to set up a schedule for the kids through lawyer.

So i went to the lawyer and the lawyer told me that he will send my bm an letter she has to sign. The letter basically says that i can see my kids every other weekend.

She didn't sign the letter and contacted a lawyer herself. Her lawyeralso sent me a letter. She wants full custody for both kids and wants me to sign that sh*t.

She also claims that i was physically and mentally abusive towards her and the kids which is not true. As i said i don't even talk to that witch since last summer and i don't want to beat her up or some bs.

Last time she was in front of my house because i didn't answer her calls. She put the kids in front of my door and just left. Why the f*ck was she constantly leaving the kids with me when she was visitting chad/tyrone at the weekends if i'm abusive?

She was the one who was psychologically abusive that's why i went no contact and i'm happy with that decision. I really can't understand this hate towards me since i did everything for this woman. I'm not trying to justify my former simp behaviour but i wasn't abusive. She was the one that was in control all the time and when i decided to set up boundaries and live my own life, she started hating me even more.

Of course i will talk to my lawyer about the coming steps but when i received this fckng letter from HER lawyer it hit me hard mentally. They want to take my kids and they want me to sign that sh*t. If i was that fcking abusive i would react by driving to her place and beathing sht out of her but im not such a person. I dont even want to talk to her that makes no sense..
Take notes on everything she does especially when she is breaking the childcare agreement. Always record her. You may not be able to use it in court but it is useful. If your state does not allow for recording, transcribe what “you remember her saying” and then ditch the recording. If she mentions anything about self harm, call an ambulance and have them take her in for a psych exam. You owe it to the kids to get her marginalized from full contact with them if she truly is BPD. I would go for full custody if I were you. Get a lawyer who specializes in men attached to cluster-B women. If you want to talk to a therapist, Dr. Tara Palmatier is good. She can help you. She specializes in this sort of thing.
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
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So my ex wife accused me of abuse, dropped the kids off with me, drove down and filed a restraining order, went to trial, and the judge rolled her eyes when my attorney asked about her dropping the kids off with me if I’m the alleged abuser.

I work with lawyers everyday and have 6 years experience in family law.

Submit 2 calendars with each parents’day identified on the calendars. Do one in 2-2-3 and one in another scenario that is equal overnights. Don’t over complicate it.

File that. If an attorney tells you that you will never get that, fire them on the spot.
 

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
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Just fyi that is a felony wiretap in illinois. (Law was created to protect corrupt politicians taking bribes) There are I think 12 two party consent states, in which you must tell the other person that you are recording them. Idk where the op lives but everyone should always check their state laws before recording anyone.
just tell the other party that you are recording if your state is a 2 party consent state or the other party is physically in a state that is 2 party consent only.

Recording is not for trapping the other party, it is for protecting you. Tell them you are recording all correspondence and if they continue then they consent. This will cut the bs.
 

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