Feeling pissed by something i just saw.

[DjVelvet]

A quick question. Just saw this internet msg from my gf to her guy friend whom she did not contact for months. They are platonic friends this i'm sure.. as i heard about this guy.. <He chased her then, but was rejected by her. She got together with me that time.>

We been together for 6months.
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She wrote this.

Topic : "How i missed my L-I-F-E"
Hey XXX, How have you been? Let's meet up for coffee somedays. I missed my Life back then, and i wanna go out. What's your cell phone number?

He replied: "Hey sure, please let's meet up for coffee, do call me at XXXXXXXX."


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(Recently, she has been staying at home, not going out frequently.) Sounds like she's bored huh.

I mean.. is that really acceptable? the msg above..

I am kinda pissed seeing this msg, I can smell that she's beginning to look back to her guy friends and getting back on "Single" mode.

Originally we are supposed to meet up over the weekend for some activities. But i no longer have the mood and intention to ask her along, no intention to answer her calls either.

In fact, I strongly feel like pulling the trigger and break it off with her. We had been quarreling frequently recently.

I don't even have the intention to drop her via talking it out... I strongly feel like not answering any of her calls although our last contact was on a good note.

Views?

 

[joekerr31]

most chics carry a gun with no bullets. so its funny when they pull the gun on you.

your chic just put one bullet in the chamber.

it doesnt mean your chic is about to cheat on you BUT, i would predict that she is gearing up to pull a power move. to up her ability to confront you. to basically attempt to p*ssy whip you and become the dominant person in your relationship.

before she does that though she needs to boost her ego. she needs to know she can get another guy. basically she wants to convince herself that she is the prize.

what should worry you most is that this is a lose lose scenario. if you confront her on it it portrays you as the jealous one (which gives her all the power). if you let it go, then you gotta sit it out and see what she does - and if she wants she'll just keep escalating things until she gets the reaction she wants out of you.

the only option when a chic pulls a lose lose tactic on you is to shut it down. to somehow impress on her that her behavior has threatened the entire relationship and that you are more than prepared to play a REAL lose lose game - ie. ITS OVER. but you dont ever want to say that with words - you want to insinuate it with your actions.

for the time being putting some distance between the two of you is an ok strategy. it will definitely give you more insight into what she is up to.

if you are still central to her life she will not allow you to ignore her for very long. if she was on her way out anyway, she will simply see your tactic as a power move and will try to reverse it on you by ignoring you back.

 

[Master Bates]

She wants to get together with a platonic friend, and you want to drop her from your life? You sound pretty insecure. Also, as you said, she sounds bored.....maybe bored of you? Maybe it's no wonder she's looking to other guys.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

But, wait,..I thought guys and girls could be perfectly platonic friends, right? So what's to worry about 'eh?




Sorry to laugh at your expense DJV, but where the hell are all the "guys and girls can be friends" crowd to back you up?

 

[STR8UP]

Sorry to laugh at your expense DJV, but where the hell are all the "guys and girls can be friends" crowd to back you up?

Rollo....I know you personally, and as an advocate of being able to look beyond thinking in black and white, this is one subject where you don't seem to allow any grey area.

Let me ask you this. What if your girl expressed to you that she likes girls too. Maybe she won't even call herself bisexual. Maybe she hasn't even done anything with a chick, but she expresses interest in it.

Would you feel the same about letting her hang out with FEMALE friends?

It has the potential to turn sexual, so do you lock her in the closet?

 

[joekerr31]

if the guy hadn't previously tried to get in her pants there would be no issue.

women rarely innocently spark relationships up with guys who previously wanted to f*ck them.

come on guys, this is DJ 101.

if some chic you tried to bang suddenly called you up out of the blue and wanted to get together, are you telling me you wouldn't be wondering whether she was looking to hook up?

 

[ER!C L!VE]

A quick question. Just saw this internet msg from my gf to her guy friend whom she did not contact for months. They are platonic friends this i'm sure.. as i heard about this guy.. <He chased her then, but was rejected by her. She got together with me that time.>

We been together for 6months.

Views?

Did she tell you about it or is she keeping it secret? It really sounds bad, man. Sorry to hear about it. You might want to start looking for another chick, just like she's shopping for dudes.

EDIT: Don't quit her 'til you hit her in the shyter

 

[Interceptor]

After reading the exchange, my gut tells me this is not good.
She seems resentful that apparently BEFORE the Relltionship with the guy, she had "a Life." WTF??? WHat is this guy the proverbial "chopped liver"??
So what now?? Now that she's with a good guy all of a sudden her "life" is such sh*t??!
Nice feeling, huh? You get with a girl and she think her life before was better.

Bad sign.
Second, she wants to get together with this chump, NOW of all times that she's ""taken" and technically "unavailable." Classy women do not act this way. Hell, a clasy woman who is taken will not even make eye contact with any man. Women know. They know that continuous persistent eye contact is an "invitation" or sign of "interest".
They know, every interaction is suspect, laced with sexual tension, and piossibilitites. The faithful chick will NOT allow you to get close to her. She will shut you out.

There are such things as faithful women who believe in fidelity.


Flip this around, what do YOU think the chick would think if the situation were reversed?? If the GUY id dthis with some chick who was after HIm.
that's right, "OMG! You are so cheating on me! How could you do this to me after all I've done for you and everything we've been through???! Waaaah..."

So it's A-OK for the chick to go out Attention WH*ring, right?
Expecially after we know for a fact that this "guy friend" DID pursue her romantically.

We have to ask ourselves just why is the chick going out AWing?

I thin we got an AW situation, possible "fling" with El CHumpo here and if the guy says anything "IOMG! You don't trust me???HE's harmless! We're just going out for coffee!"
She may turn it around on you and make YOU look like the bad guy here/ Beware.

This is a power move alright. And a possible "vine jumping" tactic as well.
She's needing attention, and validfation, she's not feeling "worshipped" or something.

This just does not look good.

 

[jophil28]

She is getting ready to cheat OR to pull some ego game for her own attention wh0re needs. This chick is UNTRUSTWORTHY. She is making a date with a guy who wants to F**k her ifhe had the chance ,and she knows that...Next !

 

[DjVelvet]

Taking to the extreme

Side note: I have been seeing my female friends occasionally and she knows about it. She wasn't too happy about it.

Recently we have been quarreling.. her behavior is unacceptable and she keeps getting impatient about small issues.

She has no idea that I saw the msg.

I was just plain pissed when i saw the msg. The only thing i feel like doing is to plain ignore her, cutting all contacts for the time being. Nothing else, since our relationship is so shaky now. Seriously plannng to pull the trigger first.

We made plans to go out over the weekends, I feel no intention to carry on with the plans and just wanna cancel it.

The contradiction is that, our last contact was on a good note. Plain ignoring her and canceling the date will seem to be disrespectful to her.

 

[jophil28]

Your relationship is in trouble. You got to fix it or finish it.
You are hanging out with your "girlfriends " - she is trolling for a coffee date with an old B/friend .
I wonder who is going to bail first ?

 

[joekerr31]

ahhh so she doesnt know you know about this lunch. so shes doing this behind your back - thats a MAJOR sign.

im even more confident in my initial analysis now.

 

[KontrollerX]

Definitely keep with your walking away idea DJVelvet and if she tries to contact you by email or whatever and say she's the one whose ending it don't respond.

Keep your power.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Haha, YOUR girl tells another guy that wants her that she wants to return to her life before she met you -- if this isn't condemning you, then I don;t what is!! Insulting!

She went to dude because she knows it will be a quick sell - she knows that he is interested in her! He is going to 'hit" it! You don't put your mouth on her stank-hole - do you? If so, I suggest you don't hereon!!

Deceit and betrayal is a bytch - you won't see her in the same light - make a clean break and save your dignity!

 

[Albion10]

Women do not like to be alone. You say you've been arguing lately. She's going to another man to fill the void your arguing has been creating between the two of you. This doesn't mean she's cheating on you, just means she's a little lonely.

Remember, relationships are "us us us" not "me me me". Sounds to me like you're not giving her what she needs. If you're not willing to, then move on. Otherwise figure out what it is and compromise!

 

[KontrollerX]

Women do not like to be alone. You say you've been arguing lately. She's going to another man to fill the void your arguing has been creating between the two of you. This doesn't mean she's cheating on you, just means she's a little lonely.

Remember, relationships are "us us us" not "me me me". Sounds to me like you're not giving her what she needs. If you're not willing to, then move on. Otherwise figure out what it is and compromise!

Relationships are supposed to be you and your girl against the world basically.

If there's troubled times and either party truly values the relationship but one or both of them needs some outside comfort they will seek it from a person that cannot directly threaten the relationship in their vulnerable emotional state ie a friend of their same sex or a family member not someone from the opposite sex who has displayed previous romantic interest in them.

Its very clear that this man's girl is currently beginning the process of branch testing.

Not making an innocent chat with an old pal.

If that were the case she would not be setting this up behind her man's back.

 

[kingwilliam]

Everyone is right about this. You guys have been arguing so she is becoming insecure. By contacting this other ass hole she is basically buying an insurance policy. She is pre-planning her rebound.

I would recommend being really sweet. Take her out to dinner and say what she wants to hear.....tell her she's beautiful......get her in the mood.

Take her home and spackle her face with your throat yogurt, then never call her again.

 

[Latinoman]

I won't give an opinion because I know you live in Asia and I'm assuming she is from Asia. Not understanding very well the customs, I am not in a position to give you solid advice.

 

[DjVelvet]

For today,

She kept calling me several times asking me to drop over at her area. I was busy and told her. "I'm engaged in a dinner with some friends, i will not be going over. Instead, you can come over when i'm done".

Her being a "Ding Dong", became angry out of the blues and find some issues to quarrel about. I'm so certain that she's in the wrong, but who cares.

In the end, I put down the phone without a bye, too pissed to talk sense to her. I'm not going to make any more contacts to her.

I'm an ok guy with options. She knows it. Instead of becoming a better girl & bringing out her man's potential making him happy, she's nagging and yelling everyday.

Spare my ears!

 

[Latinoman]

she's nagging and yelling everyday.

Dump her.