"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Feeling of suckiness and defeat

LDBaha

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hello people im new here

Ok. The past couple of weeks have been great, i've met a bunch of girls I started a new school (majoring in illustration woohoo).
First thing i got in touch with a girl that i met a while ago and tried to call her and we could never speak on the phone (we were both busy whenever i called or she called) anyway. I emailed her to see if she'd like to go out for coffee, we're doing that this saturday. That's fine.

Then I met this new girl at design school, she's pretty hot and i noticed she was looking at me, i got her name and her phone number on monday and talked to her for a while where i told her that we should go out for coffee sometime soon and get to know each other, she said "okay you have my number!"

Either way I wasn't going to ask her out soon or anything but today i just got this weird urge and decided to act on it. She was leaving when I catched up to her and asked her if she wanted to do something tonight, if she wanted to have some coffee or drinks and she said 'right now?' I said "no no, later tonight i'll call you and pick you up at your place" (it was 4pm) and she said in a very excited way "Ok sure!!"

Here's the thing, i had a huge headache but i was going to go out with her anyway, when i tried to reach her she wouldn't answer the phone and she wouldn't text me or call me back so i just left a message saying i had a headache and had to cancel (which i think was a good move imo).

That's not the thing tho. I'm okay with girls rejecting me, if they say "no thanks" i have no issues with that I know that not all girls can want e, but it pisses me off when they are flaky like that!, especially when they were actually excited to do it and attracted to me (i've always been good at reading people)

So here's the point of this thread, i feel annoyed and mad about the situation, even when i have another girl I REALLY like and another girl i'm dating!! so I really didn't lose anything but I still don't feel well/happy/normal. I feel annoyed that this girl said "yes" and then stood me up 2 hours later.

So dating several girls is supposed to help fight this feeling because i lost nothing but It isn't helping -_-. Maybe i just hate people that go back on their word and are too stupid to call and at least make something up!.

Any help?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LDBaha

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Btw the second girl, the flaky one -_- is in all my classes so i get to see her everyday. I will just show her that what she did ruined her chances with me... i suppose
 

Darth_Qurashi

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no man, stick to ur original story. don't act like she flaked on you, act like u rlly did have a headache and apologize for it. and be like aww man so sry about that i wasn`t feeling well. just be cool like it had no affect on you. cuz rlly, it shouldn`t.
 

LDBaha

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It shouldn't! exactly! that's what i'm freaking trying to fight this weird ass feelings that I shouldn't feel since i have 2 other girls and I am more interested in them...

So I guess I will just stick to the headache story (which was true!) and just apologize for it. Now that i think about it, i dont want to go out with a girl that has all classes with me cause i will have to see her everyday and that really annoys me xD. But sex would be nice...

Anyway, as long as the story is that I flaked on her I still retain my power =) and that's what's important... even if i have to fake it :p
 

DonJuan11

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LDBaha said:
hello people im new here

Ok. The past couple of weeks have been great, i've met a bunch of girls I started a new school (majoring in illustration woohoo).
First thing i got in touch with a girl that i met a while ago and tried to call her and we could never speak on the phone (we were both busy whenever i called or she called) anyway. I emailed her to see if she'd like to go out for coffee, we're doing that this saturday. That's fine.

Email is not a good way to ask a girl out on a date.

Then I met this new girl at design school, she's pretty hot and i noticed she was looking at me, i got her name and her phone number on monday and talked to her for a while where i told her that we should go out for coffee sometime soon and get to know each other, she said "okay you have my number!"


Props on getting the number, but once you get it, you have to disappear. You shouldn't stick around longer to talk to her and then say "we should go for coffee sometime". It doesn't make any sense. Either you go out with her right there and then or you disappear.


Either way I wasn't going to ask her out soon or anything but today i just got this weird urge and decided to act on it. She was leaving when I catched up to her and asked her if she wanted to do something tonight, if she wanted to have some coffee or drinks and she said 'right now?' I said "no no, later tonight i'll call you and pick you up at your place" (it was 4pm) and she said in a very excited way "Ok sure!!"

Here's the thing, i had a huge headache but i was going to go out with her anyway, when i tried to reach her she wouldn't answer the phone and she wouldn't text me or call me back so i just left a message saying i had a headache and had to cancel (which i think was a good move imo).

What you did makes absolutely no sense. You:

- tell her you would phone her tonight to pick her up
- phone her, no answer
- text her, no answer
- phone her again and say you have to cancel because you have a headache

If she is ignoring you, why are you phoning her to tell her you are going to ignore her? "Hi Cindy, since you are not picking up your phone and don't want to go out with me tonight, I just want to tell you that unfortunately I have to cancel"


That's not the thing tho. I'm okay with girls rejecting me, if they say "no thanks" i have no issues with that I know that not all girls can want e, but it pisses me off when they are flaky like that!, especially when they were actually excited to do it and attracted to me (i've always been good at reading people)

So here's the point of this thread, i feel annoyed and mad about the situation, even when i have another girl I REALLY like and another girl i'm dating!! so I really didn't lose anything but I still don't feel well/happy/normal. I feel annoyed that this girl said "yes" and then stood me up 2 hours later.

So dating several girls is supposed to help fight this feeling because i lost nothing but It isn't helping -_-. Maybe i just hate people that go back on their word and are too stupid to call and at least make something up!.

Any help?
(1) Girls don't like confrontation.
(2) You have to knock down your ego a few pegs.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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LDBaha

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Email was actually very good because we both have busy lives and she actually liked that and we went out and we're going out again. Yes i got the idea from David Deangelo and i tried it and worked, maybe it won't work everytime but this time it made sense.

Yes it was pretty stupid to get her phone number and then talk to her some more, the thing is that we are in the same classes every single ****ing day so there's really no way i can really ignore her or not see her...

And yes when I asked her out i should've said "RIGHT NOW lets go!" instead of waiting for later.

And no (the first call) that was a mistake, i texted first, got no reply and then i called to honestly cancel because of my migrain, when i was about to call i said "if she picks up i'll go out (ignore the migrain!), if not i'll just leave a message cancelling"

Why would i knock down my ego? I know who I am and how much I am worth knocking my ego down will just turn the tables again to who i was 2 years ago...

(1) Girls don't like confrontation.

Now this I didn't know. Thanks for that, i love confrontation (seriously) so I will try to avoid it with girls from now on...

Props on getting the number, but once you get it, you have to disappear. You shouldn't stick around longer to talk to her and then say "we should go for coffee sometime". It doesn't make any sense. Either you go out with her right there and then or you disappear.
That's a nice quote, thanks for that piece of info. I'll keep it in mind...


Btw a new trick I figured out, if you have an iPhone you can actually get a girls number without even having to say "gimme your number" what I've been testing is like while I'm talking to them and stuff I just go into my ipod and contacts and I write down their name and I go into the email slot and give it to them, they ussually write down their email, then i go to number and give it to them and they write down their number!" then its just a matter of letting them know my number or ringing their phone whatever... they just do it unconsciously idk why but it's been nice and i dont have to ask! (which sometimes can feel forced)

I'm new to all this PUA/dating stuff so if i'm wrong, its because... I am.
 

LDBaha

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So just to sum it up, in case anyone is interested...

The girl texted me today around 6am (when i was waking up) the text said that she was too tired and fell asleep early last night and that's why she didn't pickup or called me and that she was really sorry.

Later today i asked her about it in a very sarcastic way "hmm so you sleep a lot eh?" but she didn't pick up on it and just said "i do i do! i really do i've been known for sleeping 20+ hours!"

Anyway, I don't think she's interested anymore, I dont know where i killed the attraction exactly. I'm guessing I moved in too fast and she perceived me as needy even tho i wasn't...

My other mistake was that yesterday i should've said "right now lets go!" and taken her right there and then.

Bottom line. Should I accept my defeat and accept that she's not attracted to me anymore or should I play it cool and keep an eye out to see if she's more interested in a latter time...

On the other hand, she did write pretty early in the morning instead of telling me in person so I guess she's kinda interested maybe...
 

LDBaha

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**** IT! Someone stop me from reading too much into a situation when i have a new date tomorrow and another girl i'm seeing!. grrrr
 

pua1989

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when a girl says she passed out early shes lying
 

LDBaha

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yeah but why would she bother texting me and making sure i got it?.

I think i figured it out!. She likes my classmate too!. She likes him and probably a bit more because he a)hasn't made a move on her b)he looks foreign and girls over here love foreign guys
And i think that's the reason i got ditched, so she wouldn't ruin her chances of having something with him. Even when she was actually attracted to me...

Interesting eh?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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WhtRbt

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Either way I wasn't going to ask her out soon or anything but today i just got this weird urge and decided to act on it.
You should have stuck with your plan and remained a mystery. You have to have the self control to not act on these urges.
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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When DonJuan11 suggested you take your ego down a couple pegs, he wasn't saying you should lower your confidence or value. Your ego is the device that compels you to NEED reinforcement from all these women, it is why you go into analyzing mode when they act flakey.

The ego gains its foothold inside you with direct correlation to your confidence deteriorating. It is the trickiest thing to stay on top of. We may act all ****y and indifferent, but when we get weirded by a girl flaking on us, it may be that our confidence is not what we make it out to be or we need to get a life outside of women.
 

LDBaha

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Unbridled_Phoenix said:
When DonJuan11 suggested you take your ego down a couple pegs, he wasn't saying you should lower your confidence or value. Your ego is the device that compels you to NEED reinforcement from all these women, it is why you go into analyzing mode when they act flakey.

The ego gains its foothold inside you with direct correlation to your confidence deteriorating. It is the trickiest thing to stay on top of. We may act all ****y and indifferent, but when we get weirded by a girl flaking on us, it may be that our confidence is not what we make it out to be or we need to get a life outside of women.
Interesting... Well I'm focusing like 95% of my time into my studies+work but I get what you're saying...
I guess sometimes I just try to feed my ego, there is this girl that always flirts with me but I am not interested in her, but when she's not being flirtatious I miss it even when I know i wont do anything with her but she stops feeding my ego :O

I'm an ego wh0re!
 
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