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Feeling morbidly down?

derby1

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alright guys I went sober around 7 months ago after being an alcoholic.

Ive been clean since then, however I go through bouts of what feels like morbid depression.

a couple of things that work against me

1) I went from a celeb to a billy no mates when i removed alcohol, its literally the focus of most people in my area. so i spend a lot of time alone.

2) I dont like dropping my daughter off its not the life i imagined her coming to me once a week, i pictured myself as a family man/family house.

it takes me about 4 weeks to achieve what i would have done in 3 days, I cancel things and mop about/procrastinate like mad

3) My mood increases if get out my flat. however i have a tidy apartment in a good location.

4) I have plenty of cash and a good job.

5) Ive chatted up 5 women this week, and not one has rejected me. you would think I would be over the moon but i completely lose interest in meeting up. and i get back to them a day later at times, im totally disinterested in everything.

this is all against the "good old me"

cheers
 

christie

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You're working hard and doing great.

At AA meetings I've heard people mention something called Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. They have insisted it can last for several years and sporadically and suddenly come back. I think one symptom is being morbidly down.

I know its near impossible but if there's a way to get to a meeting in person it can help you so much.

It's a 'we' fellowship, not an 'I' fellowship.
It would feel so good to share what you just shared here. You would be absolutely floored to discover what you share brings comfort to others. Many people have experienced what you are experiencing.

There's online meetings too.
 
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derby1

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At AA meetings I've heard people mention something called Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. They have insisted it can last for several years and sporadically and suddenly come back. I think one symptom is being morbidly down.

I know its near impossible but if there's a way to get to a meeting in person it can help you so much.

It's a 'we' fellowship, not an 'I' fellowship.
It would feel so good to share what you just shared here. You would be absolutely floored to discover what you share brings comfort to others. Many people have experienced what you are experiencing.

There's online meetings too.
Yes i attend N.A i wasnt really a big fan of the zoom meetings, prefer the face to face ones. obviously cant under the current climate.

I presume it will pass, ive refrained from drinking tonight, so thats a positive.

I shall cut caffeine out now, it serves me absolutely no favours whatsoever and sends me agitated as hell
 

christie

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Yes i attend N.A i wasnt really a big fan of the zoom meetings, prefer the face to face ones. obviously cant under the current climate.

I presume it will pass, ive refrained from drinking tonight, so thats a positive.

I shall cut caffeine out now, it serves me absolutely no favours whatsoever and sends me agitated as hell
oh wow, that's great about NA, don't forget AA as well.

Awesome you're cutting out caffeine too. It's been about 4 months I haven't drank coffee although I still drink decaf coffee.

I am a little slower first thing in the morning but so what.
Very little heartburn anymore and no feeling of "I need it, I gotta have it anymore"
A couple of the sosuavers here have reduced or given up coffee.

Improved my communication skills/my patience with letting people finish what they're saying and giving thoughtful responses.

The meetings and the coffee give-up helped with this.
Thing is, those meetings always have a pot of coffee brewing so I walk in with my own decaf and still feel like I'm regular.

I haven't been to a meeting for awhile now. Thanks for this thread you created and your replies. Writing here helped remind me to "keep going back" to the meetings.
 

derby1

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Awesome you're cutting out caffeine too.
out of interest someone told me it will be the main cause for why i dont burn torso fat very easily,

and eradicating my huge intake of caffeine will result in much more efficient weight loss.

we will see
 

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r4zorsharp

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You gotta always be thinking positive. Because the thing is, you ARE progressing, you've accomplished so much.. But often times our emotions make us feel otherwise. Keep on that path brother and it will only get better from here. Just keep reading stuff about self development, keep motivated with goals and busy with hobbies, and you'll see greater changes once you really get rolling.
 

Bible_Belt

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I very much support your choice to stop drinking.

But please, let's not demonize substances. God made everything and he said afterward that all of it was good. You sound like someone who needs to smoke a little weed once in a while and maybe do a microdose of shrooms here and there. One of the best friends I ever had was a hardcore meth addict for 20 years, then finally quit when he could get good weed. One substance can save you from another.
 

logicallefty

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You are not alone man. We’ve all been there. You didn’t mention you are working out but hopefully you are. The natural high and overall benefits from exercising can push you forward like nothing else.
 

samspade

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1) I went from a celeb to a billy no mates when i removed alcohol, its literally the focus of most people in my area. so i spend a lot of time alone.
When you feel ready, try going out sober with your buddies while they drink. You'll notice how stupid people act (myself included sometimes). You can be the guy in control and talk to the half-drunk chicks at the bar. And you can be the DD. It helps if you're at a bar where you can converse, play pool, or something like that.
 

derby1

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But please, let's not demonize substances. God made everything and he said afterward that all of it was good. You sound like someone who needs to smoke a little weed once in a while and maybe do a microdose of shrooms here and there. One of the best friends I ever had was a hardcore meth addict for 20 years, then finally quit when he could get good weed. One substance can save you from another.
I cant do it, im afraid it doesnt work for me and sends me into a panic state when the substances wear off.

Id also be stopped instantly from seeing my daughter.
 

speed dawg

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I very much support your choice to stop drinking.

But please, let's not demonize substances. God made everything and he said afterward that all of it was good. You sound like someone who needs to smoke a little weed once in a while and maybe do a microdose of shrooms here and there. One of the best friends I ever had was a hardcore meth addict for 20 years, then finally quit when he could get good weed. One substance can save you from another.
Agreed.

I am not an addictive personality, at all. I drink coffee daily, smoke a little bit, drink a little bit. I probably drink a 1-2 drinks 4-5 times a week. I cannot see where cutting any of this would substantially improve my life. On the contrary, it would make it worse. Happiness comes in small doses. The small amount of money and calories don't make a difference IMO.

That said, you have to do what you have to do, some are much more addictive than others. Congratulations on your alcohol sobriety. But as you are finding, there's still some enjoyment that's missing. We can't just deprive ourselves of everything good. Maybe working out could be your outlet? I do plenty of exercise, but some of that cross fit and all that jazz has become an obsession for many people, and more power to them I say.
 

Sneaky Pete

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I’ve seen good people destroy their lives because they simply can’t drink in moderation, on occasion. Alcoholics loose their health, often also their mental capacity, those around them in their life who care about them, and end up slowly deteriorating into a shell of human being who llives for the bottle. I commend you for your great progress towards your health and mental wellbeing. You’re making great progress and made the right choice. As said above, working out, eating right will help make you feel better and stronger as a person who doesn’t need a crutch to get through life.
 

B80

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Would you say you have an addictive personality in general?

I do. Spent years of my 20's doing cocaine and drinking to extreme literally every weekend for years.

I just turned into a hermit for months to get out of the cycle when I reached a cross roads in my life. Played video games for months as figured it's a better addiction than previous. Really enjoyed it tbh, got the dopamine hit. Also got heavily into weights and healthy living (which I've stuck to religiously for nearly 15 years).

I then realised couldn't spend more time doing that. But it helped me move on

I then looked into online business and put everything into it for years and it's finally really paying off. Sense of accomplishment and building your own empire is immense. Got to the point where I didn't even want to socialize, meet women as I got/get so much back from it. Viewed anything that took my focus from it as a waste of time... apart from my daughter and lifting weights. Not for everyone I know. Balance doesnt exist in my world, never has and I don't mind.
If you have addictive personality, could be worth looking at mate. A lot of successful people I know have similar addictive personalities and wild back grounds.

Some people are wired to be all or nothing, can be used to your advantage if that's the case. Channel it into something positive that gives you real sense of purpose.
 
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derby1

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Would you say you have an addictive personality in general?

I do. Spent years of my 20's doing cocaine and drinking to extreme literally every weekend for years.

I just turned into a hermit for months to get out of the cycle when I reached a cross roads in my life. Played video games for months as figured it's a better addiction than previous. Really enjoyed it tbh, got the dopamine hit. Also got heavily into weights and healthy living (which I've stuck to religiously for nearly 15 years).

I then realised couldn't spend more time doing that. But it helped me move on

I then looked into online business and put everything into it for years and it's finally really paying off. Sense of accomplishment and building your own empire is immense. Got to the point where I didn't even want to socialize, meet women as I got/get so much back from it. Viewed anything that took my focus from it as a waste of time... apart from my daughter and lifting weights. Not for everyone I know. Balance doesnt exist in my world, never has and I don't mind.
If you have addictive personality, could be worth looking at mate. A lot of successful people I know have similar addictive personalities and wild back grounds.

Some people are wired to be all or nothing, can be used to your advantage if that's the case. Channel it into something positive that gives you real sense of purpose.
yes I have a major addictive personality, with anything that triggers dopamine or success, good advice
 

mrgoodstuff

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alright guys I went sober around 7 months ago after being an alcoholic.

Ive been clean since then, however I go through bouts of what feels like morbid depression.

a couple of things that work against me

1) I went from a celeb to a billy no mates when i removed alcohol, its literally the focus of most people in my area. so i spend a lot of time alone.

2) I dont like dropping my daughter off its not the life i imagined her coming to me once a week, i pictured myself as a family man/family house.

it takes me about 4 weeks to achieve what i would have done in 3 days, I cancel things and mop about/procrastinate like mad

3) My mood increases if get out my flat. however i have a tidy apartment in a good location.

4) I have plenty of cash and a good job.

5) Ive chatted up 5 women this week, and not one has rejected me. you would think I would be over the moon but i completely lose interest in meeting up. and i get back to them a day later at times, im totally disinterested in everything.

this is all against the "good old me"

cheers
#2 - procrastination. When item "x" pops on your mind get up and do it right way. List out your top "to do items", start working on the hardest one first. The rest will be easy. It never ends, but 3-4 weeks of being ontop of your list items and your procrastination will be behind you until you decide once again to make it a "bad habit".

#5. I'm sure out of the folks you chat, some of them you have a commonality. Well in any case unless it's setting you back or making you feel crappy you need to be getting your d1ck wet.
 

derby1

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#2 - procrastination. When item "x" pops on your mind get up and do it right way. List out your top "to do items", start working on the hardest one first. The rest will be easy. It never ends, but 3-4 weeks of being ontop of your list items and your procrastination will be behind you until you decide once again to make it a "bad habit".

#5. I'm sure out of the folks you chat, some of them you have a commonality. Well in any case unless it's setting you back or making you feel crappy you need to be getting your d1ck wet.
onto it, arranged a restaurant meal for tuesday, wouldnt usually do restaurants as we know its nto always reccommended but were left with little option over here due to lockdown, and my flat is being decorated. also tbh i need to get out a bit
 

EyeOnThePrize

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We're walking bags of chemicals. You won't feel amazing every day, but take the crap feelings for what they are, feedback. There's no need to identify with the feelings.

Sometimes I'll feel like shiit or manic but better after some yoga or lifting or a run/walk or some meditation. Some days that stuff helps a lot, other days it does little, but the consistency of doing those things every day really builds on itself in very positive ways.

You start to notice progress and get curious about other ways you can challenge yourself in those tasks.

All these feelings are really telling you is to shake shiit up and make a change. And once you start doing new things you'll probably experience different versions of the same crap feelings, or new emotional challenges. Fall in love with the process.

I'm not sure if you've noticed but the body and mind will work in overcorrecting ways. You may feel like crap one hour, work it out, then feel elated the next hour, or crap for a week, try some new things/accomplish goals, then feel elated for a few days. It's like your mind is a torpedo that's course correcting towards an ideal or goal.

One thing that's really effective for me personally is accomplishments. Even making the bed is enough to start a snowball of positive energy and accomplishments. Making the bed will make you want to clean the room or do something else productive. A clean room will make you think 'jeeze I did that in a half hour, wtf else can I kick as$ doing today?'

Eventually you're doing stuff that most people wouldn't dream of tackling. And remember to compare yourself to your past self, not to others. They have their own issues that are none of your business anyway.

It all snowballs and builds on itself over the course of the day and those days build into months and years. Push yourself to make realistic goals then challenge yourself to meet them. Fall short? No problem, adjust the goal, learn from your mistakes and try again.

It's like you're building a castle in your mind, one brick at a time. Eventually that castle is grand and you feel like sharing it with others, giving people tours and letting them stay a few nights. But again the key is to fall in love with the brick laying.

Like others have said, addictive types have immense drive and will. We simply learn to channel it properly and become unstoppable.
 

christie

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This is great, you're helping more than OP with this encouraging post.
 
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