"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Feeling Less and Less of my Old Self

someone800

Don Juan
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Hey,

Something I just realized is I am feeling less like my old self, which could be a good thing in the whole view of becoming a DJ. The reason, is usually I find myself doing a bunch of different things spending my time on the computer, and now, I try finding reason to even stay on for more than a few minutes. A lot of my old interests/personality is still here, I just don't have the time-consuming type of interest I did before in computer stuff. In trying to think of other ways to spend my time, I got an electric guitar a month ago, but haven't really learned it yet-I am trying to get a job, but that's about it. I want to spend time out at places like the mall hanging out and winging, but I just don't really have friends to do that with, plus if I went myself, my parents would probably get worried since I haven't really done that before.
This brings up another point. Today, I and this one girl I know hanged out at my house for a few hours and something I noticed about myself was my voice was all shaky and I seemed stiff and stuff even though we are pretty good friends. We were talking about people's relationships and stuff and since my parents were in the house, I told her to keep quite when she talked about it (my parents aren't mean about this stuff-it is just they might casually talk to me about it later in a conversational way), and I wouldn't really try to talk about it. I didn't seem to be that exciting and stuff like that. Also, I should note that when I picked her up, I met her dad and said hi to her mom and when I got in the car, she said I seem paranoid around parents (and other people sometimes I should mention). She said her parents love me though :) , but I just seem stiff. The thing is, when say, I am out driving around with friends or going someplace ourselves, I seem to feel a lot more comfortable (not totally-still working on that) and am able to be more expressive and free-talking.
Any suggestions on these experiences?
Thanks.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Evolution

Senior Don Juan
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Jan 7, 2008
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I think your doing great. Your just "transitioning" to the "new" you. It will take sometime but you'll get the hang of it.
 

DJ_Matthew

Don Juan
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Sep 1, 2007
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someone800 said:
Hey,

Something I just realized is I am feeling less like my old self, which could be a good thing in the whole view of becoming a DJ. The reason, is usually I find myself doing a bunch of different things spending my time on the computer, and now, I try finding reason to even stay on for more than a few minutes. A lot of my old interests/personality is still here, I just don't have the time-consuming type of interest I did before in computer stuff. In trying to think of other ways to spend my time, I got an electric guitar a month ago, but haven't really learned it yet-I am trying to get a job, but that's about it. I want to spend time out at places like the mall hanging out and winging, but I just don't really have friends to do that with, plus if I went myself, my parents would probably get worried since I haven't really done that before.
This brings up another point. Today, I and this one girl I know hanged out at my house for a few hours and something I noticed about myself was my voice was all shaky and I seemed stiff and stuff even though we are pretty good friends. We were talking about people's relationships and stuff and since my parents were in the house, I told her to keep quite when she talked about it (my parents aren't mean about this stuff-it is just they might casually talk to me about it later in a conversational way), and I wouldn't really try to talk about it. I didn't seem to be that exciting and stuff like that. Also, I should note that when I picked her up, I met her dad and said hi to her mom and when I got in the car, she said I seem paranoid around parents (and other people sometimes I should mention). She said her parents love me though :) , but I just seem stiff. The thing is, when say, I am out driving around with friends or going someplace ourselves, I seem to feel a lot more comfortable (not totally-still working on that) and am able to be more expressive and free-talking.
Any suggestions on these experiences?
Thanks.
Yeah I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.

I'm very good on computers and I do spend lots of time on it. If you have a passion about computers, why leave it? Becoming a DJ is also about being successful in every aspect of your life (girls, your passion...).

In the end, you never really change, you just become a better version of YOU.
 

SinJester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
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Australia
Beware, the old you will come back to haunt you, when it does, fight it. Don't give in to negative thoughts, you've came too far. Fight it with every once of strength and you shall be victories and the new you will hold and continue improving.
 

BMX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2004
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Everett
Keep up the good transitioning! You'll still respect yourself and ppl will even respect you more. If people from high school saw me now in college, they would notice the differences in me :up:
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

In Motion

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
346
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Location
Basically... Everywhere
You really should get started on that guitar. Girls love guitarists. Anyways, if you dont want learn guitar in general learn some naschpiel songs. Popular ones include Halellujah and Tears in heaven. They are pretty easy but enough to impress a girl with.
 
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