Feeling insecure right now, could use some advice

[DreamAgain]

This site has really inspired me to improve myself as much as I can. However, it seems that, fundamentally, no matter how much I do this, I will always be at a disadvantage when it comes to talking with hot women, because inevitably, I don't fit the archetype of what the modern day hot "instagram" girl in my age group (20-25) is looking for.

Take a look at this guy: https://www.instagram.com/zlatandzumhur/?hl=en

This is exactly what I am not, but yet what girls actually want. Conceited and arrogant with taking cheesy selfies. Flaunting wealth and showing pictures of vacations that serve no purpose. Showing no indication of any interest or capability in anything remotely intellectual.

The problem is, this type of guy seems to constantly appear with girls I am trying to get with. Sure, you could say I am picking the wrong girls, but I've yet to find a girl that is both intellectually stimulating and very physically attractive. So, because intellectual capabilities are valued so little by hot women, I feel like I'll always lose out to guys like the ones I've posted.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[Billtx49]

There are intellectual hot women that exist out in the wild, but it's a very small percentage niche of the female population. i.e., harder to find.
Keep approaching the hot ones, improve yourself, but screen for things like school g.p.a., etc.
Usually don't find this type in bars. Possibly a book club member ?

 

[guru1000]

The kid's nothing special; just good hair and skin.

You can make yourself better looking if you are at least a 5-6, by focusing on capital improvements on the physicality.

 

[resilient]

OP, try to focus on your hobbies and make them 100% authentic you. Embrace them! Your lifestyle should be what you're passionate about in this life. Not whatever status seeking pastime others do ... like this Zlatan guy.

Appearances wear thin.

Tbh... he has way too many selfies for an Ig profile that screams insecurity. He's young, shapes his eyebrows and drinks expensive organic health drinks frequent in those shots on cafe tables. Yawn. Zzzzz..zzzz.zzzzz..... Bored af.

Many of his pics are repetitive and frankly, cliche. I'm just going off his pics, so I don't know what his personality is like off-camera, from the surface though, he looks shallow without much depth. Again, they're just pics, I'm just making comments off what he's posting.

When I was active on Ig earlier this year almost every shot was taken in a unique place. I had an air of mystery too. One example, I was at a bonfire, took a picture of the shadows of the fire on the sand and wrote a cool quote in the caption.

I had odd times and infrequent times of posting pics. Again, mystery. I would unfollow someone if they had to post daily selfies from their car's driver seat, in front of the mirror, at the gym with their ear buds in, blah, blah, blah.

Instead of worrying about this guy appearing constantly with the women you're trying to get with, go after the hobbies you enjoy and include plates if you find them within your vicinity.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Dude looks like he sucks c0ck and his insta looks like just another try hard homo lifestyle profile so he can make money being an influencer.

Don't sweat it.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't compare yourself to other men. Just be the very best man possible. Your only competition is whatever it is in your personality that prevent you from putting effort towards yourself, the discipline needed to reach your goals, and the patience to achieve real change takes time. I have nothing else to say about this, accept there are literally hundreds of books out their on self improvement and personal development.

Any advice I might give would work for people like me, but depending on you personality type, other approaches might work better. But everything boils down to:

(1) Honest Self Assessment.
(2) Figuring out what you want to be.
(3) If you environment is holding you back (sh!t friends, dysfunctional family, depressed community, et. al.) get rid of it.
(4) Find an environment that will help you get to where you want to be (new friends, new city)
(5) Make a plan (set REALISTIC goals) to get you from where you are to where you need to be.
(6) Monitor your progress... achieve benchmarks.
(7) Change plan based on progress.
(8) Sustain after achieving your goals
(9) MOST IMPORTANT go back to ONE. You have to keep moving forward... when you meet your goals set new one... keep pushing to be better.

 

[bigneil]

I heard a great analogy about approaching.

Take a deck of cards and distribute it to 52 people.

Depending on how hot you are, when you approach you are either:

1) Looking for any red card (the best guys can score with half the women they approach)
2) Looking for any black card (nobody can pick up any girl)
3) Looking for any card 10 or higher
4) Looking for Spades only
5) Looking for Aces
6) Looking for the Ace of Spades only (less than 2% of women like you)

See, you're not getting rejected, you're simply seeing whether you are a match. Not every woman thinks you are her type. You can improve, but only so much.

Approach girls as if you are simply seeing what card they are holding, don't take it personally if she isn't a match.

 

[Red Legg]

Attend an Alt-right rally...you will find a good woman with a smart head on her shoulders...

 

[SoSuave666]

Dude looks like he sucks c0ck and his insta looks like just another try hard homo lifestyle profile so he can make money being an influencer.

Don't sweat it.

My thoughts exactly. What has happened to young men?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There are intellectual hot women that exist out in the wild, but it's a very small percentage niche of the female population. i.e., harder to find.
Keep approaching the hot ones, improve yourself, but screen for things like school g.p.a., etc.
Usually don't find this type in bars. Possibly a book club member ?

Yeah a real Intellectual babe won't be stimulated by bad boys and blue collar. Often they won't get along cause the guys would feel insecure and try to knock her down a few pegs. She'll want a intelligent man but one who is physically attractive and mentally stimulating.

 

[Murk]

The guy looks feminine and would prob roll over if confronted. He's nothing to worry about.

 

[TheGambino]

There are intellectual hot women that exist out in the wild, but it's a very small percentage niche of the female population. i.e., harder to find.
Keep approaching the hot ones, improve yourself, but screen for things like school g.p.a., etc.
Usually don't find this type in bars. Possibly a book club member ?

Harder to game

 

[DreamAgain]

I didn't meant to focus on this particular dude, but it's that general type of guy that it seems attractive girls (20-25) are after.

All about hedonism, not giving a f&ck, partying all the time, flaunting money.

I would love to find intellectual hot women, but outside of college (and even in there, good luck with the psychology/sociology majors...) it seems very difficult. The workplace is generally a no-go due to not sh1tting where one eats.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Lmao @ all the old guys hating. This guy has probably been around more hot women in the age range you guys chase than you ever knew in your lifetime.

There are no hot intellectual girls.

Only hot girls who happen to be intellectual. Understand that?

If you want a hot intellectual girl you first must be able to swing hot girls. Based off this post and your sentiments I can tell you are not on that level yet. You are competing with men like this and better. There is not a dime tucked away in a library reading Harry Potter waiting for you to find her. What is your market value, what do you offer? Hot girls don't fall into laps. Hot girls date hot men and those on their level. You are not there. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and level up.

 

[SmooveMooves]

My personal thoughts:

You're focused on limitation, conformity, and doubt. It's easier to blame society for your lack of success.That gives you a reason to never succeed.

Maximize what you have; outwork the competition; always hold yourself accountable.

Read this over and over again too.

 

[DreamAgain]

Thanks @SmooveMooves your advice is really solid, I agree that I need to continue improving myself, and feeling sorry for myself will do absolutely nothing to help that.