Well...I scored FB #2.
I am getting back to where I was at about 4 years ago when I had 2 girls I was sleeping with...so I am proud that I'mslowly breaking past my retreat from AFC after 2 years of hell with the runway model.
One thing that has been going on for a LONG time is that after I have sex with a girl (lover, ONS, friend, etc.)...I feel "really" bad.
Guilty thoughts go through my head like, "shyt...I should not have done that"...or, "why did I do that...?"
This has been going on for years.
I think it dates back to about 10 years ago when I lost my virginity to my freind's girlfriend (please do not give me flak for that...or call me an a$$hole...it was a very fuct-up 3-way relationship I do not want to get into).
That was the first girl I slept with. i felt really guilty then...
If I don't allow myself to orgasm, I feel fine...but if I do, about 30 seconds after, I feel like I've made the worst mistake in my life.
When I look back, I see that there has only been 1 girl I did not feel this with...and it was the runway model. hell...I was TOTALLY into her and wanted her BAD.
All these other FB's I have had are attractive and cool...HB7 - HB8. But it is like I don't want them or want to be around them after I sleep with them...and I am REALLY hard on myself (no pun intended) and I feel like shyt.
I NEVER allow these girls to sleep in my bed (spend the night) because of how I feel.
When I see them next (even as soona s the next day), this guilty feeling has gone and I'll totally fvck them. An hour later, back to feeling guilty...
5-6 years ago I backed away from sex because if how bad it made me feel. Now that I am feeling it again, all I want to do is back away again...
I am thinking that I have this "guilty" feeling because I really do not want more than casual sex and instincts say "they" do?
Only girl i did not feel "guilty" with was the runway model...
Any thought on this?
I am getting back to where I was at about 4 years ago when I had 2 girls I was sleeping with...so I am proud that I'mslowly breaking past my retreat from AFC after 2 years of hell with the runway model.
One thing that has been going on for a LONG time is that after I have sex with a girl (lover, ONS, friend, etc.)...I feel "really" bad.
Guilty thoughts go through my head like, "shyt...I should not have done that"...or, "why did I do that...?"
This has been going on for years.
I think it dates back to about 10 years ago when I lost my virginity to my freind's girlfriend (please do not give me flak for that...or call me an a$$hole...it was a very fuct-up 3-way relationship I do not want to get into).
That was the first girl I slept with. i felt really guilty then...
If I don't allow myself to orgasm, I feel fine...but if I do, about 30 seconds after, I feel like I've made the worst mistake in my life.
When I look back, I see that there has only been 1 girl I did not feel this with...and it was the runway model. hell...I was TOTALLY into her and wanted her BAD.
All these other FB's I have had are attractive and cool...HB7 - HB8. But it is like I don't want them or want to be around them after I sleep with them...and I am REALLY hard on myself (no pun intended) and I feel like shyt.
I NEVER allow these girls to sleep in my bed (spend the night) because of how I feel.
When I see them next (even as soona s the next day), this guilty feeling has gone and I'll totally fvck them. An hour later, back to feeling guilty...
5-6 years ago I backed away from sex because if how bad it made me feel. Now that I am feeling it again, all I want to do is back away again...
I am thinking that I have this "guilty" feeling because I really do not want more than casual sex and instincts say "they" do?
Only girl i did not feel "guilty" with was the runway model...
Any thought on this?