Feeling extremely down...

[Rubirosa]

A few years back, I went through an emotional period where the pain was so strong, I actually had thoughts of ending it all. A few months later, I was the happiest I had been in years....
Hang in there....Happiness is around the corner

 

[EastWind]

I've read this post and your other thread as well. This girl just sounds incredibly selfish. It's really all about her. She sounds like a total egomaniac to the point of putting her own petty need for attention and acceptance ahead of your need for calm and support during a horrendous time.

I also wouldn't pay too much attention to posters who say you're being too negative. SoSuave is all ra ra ra, always be positive, always make the best out of any situation. This site propagates a childishly simplistic and one dimensional attitude towards life.

I'm not saying drown in your grief but of course this hurts and is going to hurt for a while yet. If your friends are good friends I would tell them how you feel. I would be hurt too if my good friends were continuing to hang out with this awful woman you're involved with during such a tough time for you. I really think you're better off without her, although I know that when you're so down it's easy to think that somebody is better than nobody.

Thanks... it's nice to also hear a not-black-and-white reply. Although I see the point the other posters want to make, and respect it. All the replies together make a good picture.

I just.. think there's a possibility for everyone in life to make huge mistakes and learn from them. My own sister - who is now on not so good speaking terms with my ex - said, when I told her my ex seemed to want me back, "everyone deserves a second chance in life." (I then sarcastically asked about child rapists and murderers, and she just sighed and rolled her eyes... heh). But I'm probably headed for more pain if I go down that road.

 

[Jariel]

She hasn't contacted you up to explain how bad she's feeling and how her timing was off. She's contacted you to make herself feel better. She's using you and she's given you some childish ultimatum. She broke up with you, now she's demanding you act a certain by being 'friends' else she's off with someone else. Is this really the kind of person you want as a friend or a girlfriend? The only thing that will make you feel any better in the end is to completely ignore her now. Anything else and you're being played again...by a really evil person.

I second this!

My ex did a similar thing to me, though it was only my business I lost, not my mother. That is a time she should've stuck by you and now, instead of being sympathetic and thinking about you, she's giving you ultimatums and playing with your feelings. If she doesn't want to be with you as a girlfriend, she should respect and support you moving on, instead of trying to make herself feel better.

On the plus side, you have seen her true character now and I guarantee once you move on and get past this emotional low, you will be thankful for the narrow escape! I felt the same way and things have been getting better and better ever since.

 

[Jariel]

But I'm probably headed for more pain if I go down that road.

Definitely!! As long as you are clinging to any hope, you're gonna be stuck in that rut. It's only by letting go that you will find a release to the pain you're feeling and will be able to see the situation for what it is.

I came out of my post-break up depression when I realised my ex had met someone else. When I learned this it hit me, there was no way I ever wanted her back. Instead of feeling angry or desperate, i felt a huge relief. I could finally let go and move on.

I spent my time in the gym, reading, socialising and I did a whole lot of flirting and seducing women. Great times!!

 

[EastWind]

And speak to your friends about it. Be calm, but assertive, tell them that someone who would do such a thing in your time of need is not someone any of you would want to have around. That you would never do such a thing for your friends and you expect them to be the same. Essentially, it's putting shame on the table and telling them to make a choice.

I don't like your chances though. Good friends would already know to kick your b1tch ex to the curb before you even have to ask.

I did, back then. Told the guy I considered my best friend that the best for me was if I knew for a fact that they had no contact. He said that she didn't do it to him. The two of them always got along great.

But were does that leave me? It would mean my best friends aren't my friends. As Pook said, respect is all.

****.

 

[Jitterbug]

That sucks, brother.

I had that happened to me too. When my best friend at the time had his heart broken by some chick who was a mutual friend, I kicked her to the curb immediately, despite her trying to seduce me (and she was a hottie). I take friendship with a brother very seriously. Later, when I broke up with an ex, this best friend left me at a club one night to give her a lift home when she showed up with some cute girlfriends, and they were only barely flirting with him. He has no chance with her or her friends whatsoever, she only wanted to piss me off a little. I didn't even have to make the point to him. After that night he was no longer a friend.

Those so-called friends are easily blinded by pvssy. You DO NOT want them to watch your back, that's for sure.

You are young, you'll find better friends. I did.

 

[Alien]

She said she doesn't want to get back into the relationship just to realise three weeks later it wasn't the right decision, asking why we can't just interact like normal people first instead of pretending we don't know each other, she can't get back into the relationship over the phone (which is actually the only thing that makes sense). Says that if I don't want her affection as a friend, she'll give it to other people because it hurts her too much to have me refuse it over and over again unless she's willing to come back...

She is just playing with your feelings. She still doesnt care about you or about what happened to your mom. You would see that yourself but now your head is in a mess.

------
"i want to talk to you. i want to be with you in a place where there are other people." = i want to hurt you even more and fix my broken ego.

"i was dumb. sorry. i want to be alone with you in a room where theres a bed" = i want to be with you again
------

"But my ex called me up, telling me she was feeling horrible about what she did, realized how bad it was, has been losing sleep, thinking about my mom and me all the time, she's not sure about her feelings anymore, not sure why she broke up with me..."

Oh poor her!! Its all about her and her feelings ^ ^ ^
Wake up man!