Feeling down about my looks

[KillingTime]

ive been studying all the stuff on this site for a long time, ive become very confident and have no problem starting up conversations with random people, no longer put girls up on a pedestal etc. but this all comes crashing down when I see myself in the mirror, in a picture or video. I can't help it, no matter how much time I put into myself, im a pretty ugly guy. I've tried so many looks with clothing/hair... i used to wear really skater-ish clothing but felt i looked too immature (im 19) now im wearing really nice Ralph Lauren/Express type clothing but that stuff looks good on hot guys, I feel it just looks off on me. Think of it this way, if you put Bin Laden in an Abercrombie outfit, would he really look any hotter?
ive tried many different styles and I just don't look good in any, sometimes I just want to go back to wearing wal-mart clothes.
I don't have a pic but I look somewhat like George Lopez w/less wrinkles. Scrawny body with a very fat face (trying to bulk up but i have really bad acne which are triggered by various foods, and before anyone says it.. ive been on the highest dosage of accutane three times and it did nothing)really poofy black hair, thick black eyebrows, thick black stubble (shave twice a day but it grows like a weed). So i don't really have much to work with and it really gets me down sometimes, I mean as long as I don't have to see myself i'm fine but otherwise my confidence drops like mad.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

...

work out, go on a healthy diet, wax ur eye brows, use moisterizers, acne lotions etc, get a Norelco cook razor shaver, it works wonders.......how can u have a scrawny build with a fat face? you are a young guy my friend......have fun with ur life....what kind of work do u do? r u attending college?

 

[Ever onward]

I don't have a pic but I look somewhat like George Lopez w/less wrinkles. Scrawny body with a very fat face (trying to bulk up but i have really bad acne which are triggered by various foods, and before anyone says it.. ive been on the highest dosage of accutane three times and it did nothing)

Hey come on George Lopez does alright with the ladies

About the acne....I too had really bad acne when I was younger. It didn't matter what kind of acne medication I tried (topical, oral, ect) it would not clear up. I almost gave up hope about it but I tried going to the doctor one more time when I turned 21. She gave me the same oral medication I had tried many years earlier and to my surprise this time it worked; I cleared right up. I took the pills for a few years but eventually I stopped taking them and I stayed clear.

I guess my body chemistry changed by the time I turned 21 and the medication became effective. So there is still hope for YOUR complexion man.

 

[KillingTime]

thanks for the replies. I go to college, have never worked. It's just a confidence killer knowing that on a scale of 1-10 your easily below a 5. Yeah you can still find a girl but it's not the same ya know? When you are good looking you naturally have women attracted to you which makes things much easier b/c then you just have to play it cool. I talk to girls, apply the techniques etc. but even then, a big percentage of the time I can tell they aren't very attracted physically.
It's like us guys on this board, what kind of woman do we hit on and try to score with? The hot ones or the fat, ugly ones? They say looks aren't as important to women, maybe slightly but man or woman... we all love and cant help but be attracted to eye candy.

 

[diablo]

Post a picture, there are a few girls on the site who can give you advice with what to do to improve your appeal.

 

[pootwo]

Hey.
I would STRONGLY recommend that you post a pic of yourself.. Then you can get direct advice on what to do rather than rough guesses as to where you need help.

I posted a pic of myself about a year ago, & i wasn't even worried about my appearence.. But the responses i got were really eye opening. I did get some critisisum for my dress sense, posture, hair style, & even the aura i was giving off. but it REALLY helped me. I got proper advice on what i was doing wrong, & what to do to improve.

Thats my advice.

 

[Dirtheart]

I agree! My image and overall look has improved tremendously ever since I asked my (female) friends for advice. It pays to get objective criticism where you can get it...and that goes for anyone.

 

[gmm567]

Where would i post my picture?

Should I start a new thread? Or just stay in this one.

 

[Tempest]

KillingTime,

i'm in the same boat as you are, and was actually going a post an identical thread but you just took the words away from me already! i've also been researching and applying the **** that i've been learning. a lot of the time, i think of myself as unattractive. i'll see a reflection of myself in a mirror and it'll just kill my confidence. i try to avoid cameras and videos, etc.

i still DO have decent girls attracted to me, though, and have people tell me that i'm good looking. i don't see it, and the problem that i'm having is accepting myself. i could maybe, almost put myself up as average.

i've looked up a lot of things to improve my looks... i'll list a few.

1) i also had bushy eyebrows, and a uni-brow. what did i do? i learned to groom them. first thing i bought was this sideburn/eyebrown men's groomer thingy which is an electric device that you run through that shortens the hair. after i'd do that, i'd pluck my eyebrows. there are ways you can reshape your eyebrows and crap. first thing to do is get rid of a uni-brow if you have one. try to reshape your eyebrows in a style of your liking. you can have a more curved eyebrow, or an arch-type eyebrow. google it.

2) i bought a mach3 POWER. it's basically a mach 3 turbo, but it has a battery and a little motor in it, and it vibrates and it's the best shave i've ever had.

3) join the gym. this is something that i've started to do, but havn't seen great results yet. i bought a weight gainer (prolab n large 2) and have been eatting a lot (6 meals a day). i try to work out as much as i can, but i'm currently trying to switch gyms to one more of my liking. but i'd workout atleast 5 days a week.

4) as for acne, i'm currently fighting that as well. i don't know WHAT to do. right now i'm going to order Proactiv, and hope that works out for me. i wash my face, avoid greasy/junk food, and use a special cream. if anyone else can post advice on this, it'd rock.

5) i use 3 different products for my hair (my hair is about medium length, blonde/brownish). first, find a good hairstyle and put it to use everytime you leave the house. i use mouse in my hair first, then i gel it to my liking, then i will use hairspray on it to keep the hold. i've noticed hairstyle does a lot. if i kept my hair as i wake up in the morning, i'd be hideous.

6) grow sideburns, or have facial hair. i don't have a goatee or anything, but i grew out sideburns just down to my ears.

not sure what else i can offer, but hope this helps. also if anyone could post on any of my issues, it'd be great. thanks.

 

[jakethasnake]

Listen,


Both of you are 19. I was just as insecure as you when I was 19 - I think 90% of guys are. Yep, even the buff or handsome ones. That's why young guys are always walking around grabbing their cacks in public and starting fights and posturing - they try very hard to appear dominant because they are compensating for their insecurity by trying to impose their presence on others. I speak from experience, so don't you dare give me a "I know, but...." type of punk-ass 19 year old kid answer. You'll soon learn to grow more comfortable in your own skin, especially after you turn 21. It doesn't mean you'll be free from insecurity though - this **** goes on in some individuals past the age of 30. It's a constant battle for each and every one of us - so don't despair.

 

[TurboLover]

Also remember that you are your toughest critic. The more you dwell on a flaw the more worst it becomes. There is SOME truth to the saying THERE IS NO REALITY JUST PERCEPTION. Like those b1tches who think they are fat and only weigh a hundred pounds.

In a poker game, the person who wins doesn't always have the best hand. Improve on your game, and play the hand you were dealt.

 

[luv_ya_amj]

Move over Proactiv

Hey ya Time Killa' (flippin's good...),

Lots of great advice from the guys on this board...

But about the whole acne thing, Proactiv is definitely a good option to get rid of that nasty burden on your face. If you didn't already know, BENZOYL PEROXIDE (Proactiv's primary ingredient of course...) is supposed to be one of the most effective topical treatments for acne around. I even use it and it does wonders, especially since the repair lotion REPAIRS your freakin scars!Although some experience a little TOO MUCH dryness of the skin this obviously depends on the person... I've only experienced this once for very short period of time (less than a month) in the 4 years that I've used it...

However, if you find that this DOES in fact work...but can't stand seein all those holes in what you call a wallet... Skip on over to your local grocery store and pick-up some Neutrogena Clear Pore cleanser, which has...HEY! whadya know! BENZOYL PEROXIDE in it!! You've most likely seen those classic commercials for it... You can use it as a mask --> (DONT' WORRY!...lock yourself in the bathroom or somethin...there's NO TIME for insecurities NOW SON!!) or if you're in a hurry...slab it on then wash it right back off! Easy!

And the best part...It's LESS THAN 6 BUCKS a pop (well, at least at Wal-Mart it is...LOL)! It should at least last you a month, but only accounts for the cleansing step...not the toner, or repair lotion (benzoyl peroxide amounts vary...GEEZ, it's not an EXACT replica OKAY?? LOL )

Actually, you should just spend a WHOLE AFTERNOON (ummm....or 5 min...whatever...) around that skin care aisle one day (as I'm sure you have frequently...on a quest for THE miracle potion...), and see the TRUCKLOADS (yeah...that exaggeratin boys...) of generic benzoyl peroxide treatments that are available!

OOOH DANG this is gettin long, but ONE MORE thing, hun...

If none of these CRAZY A** cleansers work...here's one of your LAST RESORTS...

I came across an interesting website recently entitled: ZENMED™ Premium All-Natural Health & Skin Care (http://www.zenmed.com). According to this website (yeah I know, not surprising...) and other sites that have reviewed this semi-new approach to acne...It' SUPPOSEDLY the number one treatment for those monsters on your face (yes, even ousting Proactiv from the most coveted spot...).

But instead of 3 steps as with Proactiv, this one requires an AGONIZING 5 to work effectively--it's both topical/external and internal. The company even claims that after about 3 MONTHS you won't even need to USE the entire product line (heh...maybe the cleanser you'll still need...) as it patches up your nervous system to keep it from overreacting (CAN YOU SAY: STRESS?? huh? huh?) and producin those mangy suckers! So yeah babe...food most likely has very little to do wit it (research causes of severe acne...I'm tellin ya...)...

Well, that's my 10...I mean 2 cents (10 cent wings night is good!...) on this whole matta...Hope this helped ya or...pfffft...at least entertained ya a lil'...

MUCH LUV FELLAS!
a^m*j

 

[luv_ya_amj]

ooo...STEEP...

Heh...one more thing TOTALLY worth mentioning...

That ZenMed solution...

You may not even SEE your wallet (at least for the next 3 months...)...

It's about $100 for the complete system (not sure how long the supply is good for...).

OH BUT WAIT! WAIT!!!... they give a WHOLE 5% OFF! WOW-E!!!Now this changes EVERYTHING! LOL

But seriously try it sometime...

Or if anyone has ever tried it...POST UP!

 

[diablo]

Re: Where would i post my picture?

Originally posted by gmm567
Should I start a new thread? Or just stay in this one.

Just post it in here, you've already got quite a few member's attention. By the way, those last 2 posts actually were entertaining...

For instructions regarding putting the image up, check the reply I sent to your PM.

One last thing - if you have insurance, go ahead and visit the dermatologist. I've never used Proactiv but I do know for a fact that Accutane (or Isotretinoin/Sortret as it's generically called) works miracles...

 

[TheStudent]

I notice that u guy have missed one thing that i feel it's importnat....

There is nothing more unattracitve is a smile with severe discolored teeth....

I used CREST WHITE STRIP for my teeth and it work very very well....I takes about 2 weeks to get desireable result but poeple with notice the different right away....

 

[diablo]

Welcome to the forum... and interesting name.


You're right, though - but until he posts a picture, we won't know if yellowed teeth are a part of the problem. Speaking of White Strips, I need to get another pack of them.