Feeling disrespected, what's the best way to end it?

[49au]

So far she's called twice and sent 8 texts over the next hour.

She still pretends to have no idea why I'm turned off.

 

[LMFAO]

Call her up on it.

 

[Dedication]

So far she's called twice and sent 8 texts over the next hour.

She still pretends to have no idea why I'm turned off.

Because i haven't been in your situation yet i would like you to follow Atom Smasher's advice and set those boundaries. Take some form of action and let us know what happened because i think i can learn a valuable lesson out of your situation.

 

[CloudSurfer]

Dear 49au
I read this post and while reading I felt how the story must have been for you. I myself experienced things like this with several girls before and while reading I could feel my own "helplessness" in this past experiences.
I think when you get to know a girl: you have fun, you show your personality, you **** her
and if everything is great, than there is a chance "you get into her head". From this point on it is easy, she will fall madly in love with you, without you having to do much anymore. That is for her the point of no return. Such a girl would never flirt with another guy in your presence, because she is all into you , empathic about you, and would gladly help introducing you to her friends and stay at your side for the whole evening.
The girl you described, seemed not to madly fall in love for you. You did not manage to push her over the hill beyond the point of no return. So you have no power over her. I can not think of anything you can do about it. Especailly if already 3 Months have passed.
Afterall in dating we only get power over the girls if we get into her head. We don't have real power like a company boss or King of a country. So our power is build on a shacky ground. Besides a man being generally not very valauble and discardable in our modern western world.
But still you manged to lower her self esteem very much, by refusing sex and breaking up with her on your terms. I think when she now texts you it is not because she is madly in love with, but because she wants to regain her self esteem.

Anyway, thanks for this interesting post.

 

[TheException]

No point in calling her out, all you will get is "we weren't exclusive" and "stop being so insecure"

This sums up the whole thread^

 

[49au]

No point in calling her out, all you will get is "we weren't exclusive" and "stop being so insecure"

A woman can say that all she wants, that doesn't mean I have to accept wh0rish behavior. She has the right to walk, but I have the right to reject bullsh!t like the above.

Also, see my earlier post:

That being said - I made a joke last night about getting an island girl pregnant on my recent trip, and she said, "You cheated! You know I'll slice your balls off."

I smiled and told her that I'd like to see her try.

But what's significant about her use of the word "cheated" (even though she knew it was a joke), is it tells me that in her mind, we are exclusive. And if we're exclusive in her view, then she should not act that way.

Regardless, I'd been fvcking her and hanging out with her for 3 months. Does that give me the right to complete dominion over her? Hardly. But if she wants to spin other plates, it needs to be done discreetly and with respect.

Anyway, I'm moving on.

 

[49au]

A lot of guys would call this behavior beta, but I love it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPR9bI1qDxA

This is when Don confronts his wife about her affair (even though he has slept with numerous women during their marriage).

Check out the look on her face. Even better than the look I got when I told this girl I was dropping her off and going to sleep in my own bed.

I'm not saying you're wrong. You're not. That's just what the slvt will tell you if you call her out, so dont bother.

OK, I misunderstood you then. I did keep my "breakup" voicemail very short, and ignored her calls/texts trying to get details (and argue points, I'm sure). All I really said was that she knows how I feel about respect, she openly disrespected me, and that is not something I'll tolerate. Then the usual crap about how I'm not mad, and we can still be friends, but the romantic part is done.

Also, I know it's pointless to argue with women (as they just rationalize their emotions instead of forming decisions based on logic or past commitments), but I actually enjoy it immensely from time to time. I'm pretty good at debate, and have left more than one woman speechless in arguments. Doesn't mean I accomplished anything, but it's amusing to see their reactions when confronted with their own senselessness.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think it depends on exactly what she was doing with other guys. There is a big difference between friendly harmless social dancing at a party and dry humping another dude on the dance floor.

Only you can determine if she crossed the line or not.

 

[LMFAO]

She can tell you whatever the f*** she wants and she will do given the opportunity. I see absolutely nothing wrong with telling a woman that she disrespected you and enough is enough, keeping your frame and with a cool head. Especially in longer relationships, or situations like these were you have a number of friends in common and may bump into each other.

 

[buzzin_frog]

I've been seeing a girl for about 3 months now.

She is not my girlfriend, as I said, I've avoided putting a label on it.

Then why are you getting all bent out of shape? She is just your fvck buddy.....so she should be treated as such!!

You're trying to treat this chick like a girlfriend when she wasn't....you didn't want to put the label on it....so no need to get insecure when she starts to flirt....in fact you should be banging and flirting with other chicks besides her!!

If you don't feel she is up to par for an LTR....then drop her....no need to go beta by calling her to offer her an explanation as to why...she wasn't your girlfriend anyway....she shouldn't even mean that much to you!! Obviously she does because you are just going on and on about it.

 

[49au]

I'm good friends one of her exes, we had dinner/drinks/poker last as we usually do on Mondays.

They were together 16 months, before he dumped her. All her friends were getting engaged or married while they were together, so her hamster wheel was going nuts when he let her go. She "failed", her friends went to the next level (house/husband/baby/etc). That was a huge blow to her ego.

Now that he knows it's over, he told me some stories and shared some of the same suspicions that I had about her. We had a very long conversation and both of us came away feeling better than ever about our decision to dump her.

She's a female version of he and I - she wants money, recognition, sex, a trophy spouse, etc. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. But as a man that sacrifices to achieve a high income, I fully expect a woman who has sacrificed by not wh0ring herself around. I don't mind taking care of a housepet, but I'm not going to take in a girl that the whole village has already taken a shot at.

The scary thing is that if I didn't know him, I wouldn't have access to so much information that confirmed many of my own instincts and suspicions.

The next guy she gets her claws in, may not be so lucky.

That's why we have to always keep our eyes open. Very valuable lesson learned here.