Feeling blown out of the water with naturals...

[Luke Skywalker]

...I cant seem to put my finger on it, but when I see a natural / amog person who is interacting freely with girls I just get this major inferority complex and sence of inadequacy and basically shut down. Basically, if I try to do the same thing, which is to 'connect', I'd come across as very stiff, formal, and dry, or in other words, not natural.

The other aspect is if a natural or AMOG is not in the environment, then I'm not sure if I'd be talking to the women anyway. It sort of reminds me when I was in High School and doing track and field. I would be struggling to run a leg, and then someone else may pass me fast, and I'd just walk the rest of the way because I cant run that fast.

Anyway, in such environments, I usually feel like a fish out of water and just give up, and I just feel bad when I see a natural alpha male guy have it so easy. If you are not natural, everything comes off as contrived and I don't know about this fake it until you make it thing when stuff like that happens.

I noticed other threads like those of Snowplow, for example, where he feels like a fish out of water when he went to some bars as the girls there weren't taking him on at all. In this case it's a pentecostal church.

Anyone else can relate?

 

[WC2]

I know exactly what you're saying.

The wrong thing to do in these situations is to "follow the leader" (the alpha). You must set yourself apart.

Even if you are not the most alpha of the group at the moment, thinking on your own and separating yourself is the best path.

I'd like to think that in a social environment, women throw men into a few categories.

First, your alpha males who are running the conversation and making women wet with every last word off the tip of their toungue.

Second, your AFCs who follow the alpha male and laugh along. Yes, these guys end up being friends to all these women.

Lastly, you have your floaters who aren't Alpha males yet, but don't let themselves fall into the AFC category. He may not be as in control as the alpha male, but sure as hell doesn't play into his game. He makes solid attempts to bring in new conversation when it's necessary. He's not fighting to be the center of attention, but more so relaxed and just waiting for a moment to open up.

The thing I've noticed about alpha males (when being one and when observing them) is that most of them run out of steam after a little while. Those who are in the AFC category are hopeless at this point and have a VERY hard time building attraction to the set of women, regardless of how quiet the Alpha has become. However, these men who haven't let themselves fall into this category have a prime shot right then.

Bottom line, is that if you're in competition with another more than worthy male, it isn't always the best idea to go head to head. Instead, relax yourself and wait for the right time to open up as the new Alpha male.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

On similar threads to this one people have advised me to befriend the natural or AMOG, however, with intense inferiority complex and inadequacy emotions that seem to hit like a tornado, it seems difficult really to talk to anyone as I just seem to focus on that particular feeling and shut myself out. In this particular case I left without talking to anyone and just felt frustrated.

 

[WC2]

On similar threads to this one people have advised me to befriend the natural or AMOG, however, with intense inferiority complex and inadequacy emotions that seem to hit like a tornado, it seems difficult really to talk to anyone as I just seem to focus on that particular feeling and shut myself out. In this particular case I left without talking to anyone and just felt frustrated.

Horrible advice. It's fine to be friends with the Alpha Male, but you don't need to "follow" him. That is AFC behavior. Be your own man and make your own surroundings.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I get the general gist of what you are saying. If I don't approach women on a premise that someone else can interact with them with a more natural flow while I come across as more formal and stiff, then indirectly, whether I like it or not, I'm giving power to another guy and am becoming a follower or AFC so doing. If I leave a church on that, it's the same thing, then I'm leaving as an defeated AFC.

To think independently, would mean to go ahead and make the approaches while mentally trying to cancel the effects of the AMOG, or imagine that he's not a factor variable on a decision not to approach or talk to any particular girl, or to fight the defeatist feeling that causes me to quit without even trying. I would have to somehow stop comparing myself to this guy.

If there is no particular opening to talk to anyone, then that's fine, just wait and one will come open somewhere, then proceed. Sounds simple enough.

 

[Zairi]

Since you brought up track and field, I'll give you an analogy. You have to learn how to run your own race. The only thing that matters is what happens in your own lane. You have to learn how to run relaxed. Take a look at Carl Lewis. If you watch his 100m races, you'll see that he never lead his races, yet he always won. Had he looket at his opponents at 40 metres and started to struggle, he would have faded away very quickly. Instead he kept his cool and ran HIS race. Stop looking at what others are doing, focus only on your own lane and chill out.

 

[DonJuan11]

...I cant seem to put my finger on it, but when I see a natural / amog person who is interacting freely with girls I just get this major inferority complex and sence of inadequacy and basically shut down. Basically, if I try to do the same thing, which is to 'connect', I'd come across as very stiff, formal, and dry, or in other words, not natural.

Anyway, in such environments, I usually feel like a fish out of water and just give up, and I just feel bad when I see a natural alpha male guy have it so easy. If you are not natural, everything comes off as contrived and I don't know about this fake it until you make it thing when stuff like that happens.

I noticed other threads like those of Snowplow, for example, where he feels like a fish out of water when he went to some bars as the girls there weren't taking him on at all.

Everyone can probably relate at one time or another. What is the question?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Everyone can probably relate at one time or another. What is the question?

Being an inner game issue, the implied question was best answered by the above poster Zairi, and further insights were given by wc2 -- basically to run your own lane.