Feeling a bit guilty...

[NYKfan0303]

So, as we all know, last night was New Years Eve, and people tend to get drunk and party on New Years Eve. Well, I was at a party, and was really drunk and high. Now, I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 2 months, not too long at all. I, being drunk and not thinking, fingered this girl who was sitting on my lap, for literally like 2 seconds. After I did that, and that's all that happened, we didn't kiss or anything, I felt incredibly guilty. Whether or not that constitutes as cheating, I still feel like it was, and I've felt guilty ever since. Now call me an AFC or whatever you like but, I really like my girlfriend, however I don't love her, and a part of me wants to tell her, but another part wants me to keep my mouth shut and deal with it. I don't think my girlfriend will break up with me if I tell her, as she is really into me, and told me that she loves me. Also, she's such a sweetheart, I never have heard her talk "trash" about anybody and she is always nice to me.

Now, does anybody have any advice for me?

Thanks

 

[PlaysToWin]

Of course it was cheating.

Having said that, in my opinion if you assume that your girlfriend is not going to find out otherwise, the only reason you are telling her is to alleviate your own guilt and she ends up the one getting hurt. It's quite a selfish move really. Better to deal with the guilt yourself and leave your girlfriend out of it.

I used to be very idealistic about such things but in truth, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

That's my opinion anyway.

 

[shaunuk]

Let's not all turn into the morality police. If you like your GF, DON'T tell her. Mate, just forget about it and carry on as normal. Guilt about these sorts of things passes.

 

[SchoolBoy]

I would suggest not telling her, what good will it do?

If you tell her, you'll alleviate a bit of your guilt, at the cost of your girlfriend's suffering..

If you did like this girl, be a man and don't say anything. She'll appreciate it much more.

-SchoolBoy​

 

[scribblec]

are u serious u fingered a girl for 2 seconds who u didnt kiss or **** or have an emotional connection with and your considering this as cheating? wow

 

[WaterTiger]

Here's my advice:

SHUT THE FCUK UP!

If anyone else says anything about it, say:

"I was really drunk, I don't remember ANY of that!"

That's your story! STICK TO IT! Repeat it a hundred times till they get bored and leave you alone. Don't explain, don't give details, don't agree with anything else they say.

"Dude! I was really drunk, I don't remember ANY of that!"
"No, seriously! I was really drunk, I don't remember ANY of that!"
"I was really drunk, I don't remember ANYTHING!"

Got it? GOOD BOY!

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

And WaterTiger and I have done things that made Caligula blush, so there it is.

 

[Ambition Now]

Dont tell her. Forget it...
I wouldnt fell guity for doing anything that a girl could easily do to me.

 

[shock]

"Let's not all turn into the morality police." Agreed.

Bro, it was a **** move on your part... But what's done is done. You can't change that.

I think if you value her, or the relationship at all I think you'll keep this one under wraps. Sounds like this was the first time you've ever done anything like this, and a pretty insignificant occurrence at that.

I am assuming you're younger?? This is the shi* you learn from man, don't sweat it. I just don't think it's worth the repercussions that will ultimately follow if you tell her. Though she may stick with you as you say, the relationship will never be the same again. She will never trust you. You can't just earn that back.

With that said, if you are going to tell her, then you should end it.

The drunk excuse is thrown around all too often... What it comes down to is an opportunity presented itself, and subconsciously you wanted to know you still "have it". I've been there. Take this as a learning experience and move forward from here. Don't tear yourself up over it either, otherwise she'll start questioning things.

You need to make a decision, one way or the other, and not look back. Tell her, and leave her. Or forget it ever happened. You know my opinion.

Good luck brahh

 

[NYKfan0303]

are u serious u fingered a girl for 2 seconds who u didnt kiss or **** or have an emotional connection with and your considering this as cheating? wow

How is that NOT cheating? If my girlfriend jacked off somebody, and I don't care for how long, I'd consider it cheating, wouldn't you?

However, I'm going to keep my mouth shut like you all suggested.

Thanks.

 

[foomee]

tell Her And She Will Cheat Back If You Stay Together!

i second this. it happened to me. and on top of that everytime i was with my girlfriend and she got drunk she'd bring up the time i cheated on her and she'd get angry. not a fun thing. either break up with her or don't tell her. also, don't ask other females for advice...most of the time it's bad advice. listen your guy friends or us on here.

 

[seano99]

yes this is cheating 100%.

and if you still want to be with your girlfriend DONT TELL HER! if you tell her, you'll damage trust forever. you'll hurt her. you might even push her to cheat on you. nothing good can come from telling her. NOTHING.

you want to clear your conscience. well you'll forget anything given enough time, so you'll forget this. change your forum name in a few weeks so this thread doesn't remind you of it.

if anyone says anything, like the guy says above, YOU WERE DRUNK and dont remember anything. that's the story. stick to it. in fact, i'm pretty sure you dreamt it and it didnt even happen.

 

[eaglez1177]

Wow. I really do not think this is cheating. Either way, its completely irreleveant if its cheating or not. Dont say a fvckin word man, follow exactly what WaterTiger said.

 

[Zirko]

Yeah, it's obviously cheating. I mean, I'm surprised you even doubted that for a split second.

Your conscience will torture you. If you think it's bad now, wait a little while, it will hang on your shoulder until you won't be able to bear it any longer and then you'll talk.

There's no way out of your own mind man. Time to own up.

 

[scribblec]

How is that NOT cheating? If my girlfriend jacked off somebody, and I don't care for how long, I'd consider it cheating, wouldn't you?

However, I'm going to keep my mouth shut like you all suggested.

Thanks.

your telling me if your gf just touched someones **** for 1 second and that was it you would crucify her for being a cheat?

well u know what tell her what you did infact FEEL GUILTY for being the worst cheater in the world since tiger wood

 

[SamMalone]

your telling me if your gf just touched someones **** for 1 second and that was it you would crucify her for being a cheat?

I would. Why is she even IN a position to be touching another guys ****, let alone actually doing it? Even for one second.

Same with the OP. If you like the girlfriend that much, why are you in a position where this could happen? The way you wrote it sounds like this girls ***** fell onto your finger. I doubt thats the case. Is this going to happen again if you are out drinking with buddies and the situation presents itself?

I would NOT tell your girl, but if you can't be a man and control your urges (or you're too young), don't lead this girl into a relationship.

 

[seano99]

your telling me if your gf just touched someones **** for 1 second and that was it you would crucify her for being a cheat?

well u know what tell her what you did infact FEEL GUILTY for being the worst cheater in the world since tiger wood

yeah if my girl touches another **** that's cheating.

he fingered her for 2 seconds. that's a sexual act.

i'm so surprised there is even debate as to whether this is cheating

 

[NYKfan0303]

I would. Why is she even IN a position to be touching another guys ****, let alone actually doing it? Even for one second.

Same with the OP. If you like the girlfriend that much, why are you in a position where this could happen? The way you wrote it sounds like this girls ***** fell onto your finger. I doubt thats the case. Is this going to happen again if you are out drinking with buddies and the situation presents itself?

I would NOT tell your girl, but if you can't be a man and control your urges (or you're too young), don't lead this girl into a relationship.

She isn't in a position to be doing that, and she wouldn't.
I was sitting down, completely relax, and this girl sat on me. She started rubbing all up on me, and I don't know, I just did it. It was not any form of sexual harassment; the girl loved it. However, that was it. It was just a one time thing, I really don't even know why I did it. Girls throw themselves onto me every weekend, but I've always controlled myself, I just slipped ONCE. I was incredibly drunk, that's one of the only things I really remembered of the night.
I told a really good friend, who happens to be a girl, about this, and instantly I felt much better.
I'm not going to tell my girlfriend about this, I was dumb, and I won't do it again.

Thanks for all the advice everyone.

 

[Proselytiser]

ThatMysteriousGuy made a really good post about this, where he explained that an ex-girlfriend had kissed a guy at a party in a moment of weakness, and was very obviously guilty, even though she thought he didn't know. So the punishment was really in the guilt itself and she never did it again.

 

[WaterTiger]

And WaterTiger and I have done things that made Caligula blush, so there it is.

Really? Dude, I was drunk and don't remember a thing!


See how easy that works????