I can't seem to find a happy medium between being single and dating. I read David D's ebook and watched his "on being a man" and "****y n funny" video's. As well as listened to lots of his dating guru's interviews. I also got winggirl's "how to be the man women want". I got David D's stuff back in 2005 and I have done lots to improve my game quite a bit but I still cannot get a decent girl. I just don't know what to do anymore and my anger and frustration are reaching there peaks. I'm 30 years old, I don't to wait till my life is half over till I get married and have kids. This is getting to be total bull****, how long does a guy have to wait before a girl chooses him?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Feel like I'm ready to snap
- Thread starter Hammer79
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Drum&Bass
Master Don Juan
You just started researching material on how to improve yourself...It takes time for the information to integrate into your personality...and then it will take even more time before your NEW and IMPROVED personality grows and matures into something that people (NOT just women) seek.
Instead of taking the WRONG mind state of what kind of girls can I get and how fast can I get them...you need to think what can I GIVE to PEOPLE (not just women) to make them WANT YOU.
for example...I give people assurance, a sense of safety and a fatherly demeanor when I talk to them. I also create a sense of security when I communicate so people become comfortable opening up to me and I always create the opportunity for people to teach me things. Even though they might be things I already know or have experienced, people love sharing their personal opinions and feelings with others. It is a bonding agent ! and raises peoples confidence and makes them feel good.
When people equate YOU with FEELING GOOD, they will want and appreciate you.
What you and most everyone else is after goes far deeper than male female attraction.
Instead of taking the WRONG mind state of what kind of girls can I get and how fast can I get them...you need to think what can I GIVE to PEOPLE (not just women) to make them WANT YOU.
for example...I give people assurance, a sense of safety and a fatherly demeanor when I talk to them. I also create a sense of security when I communicate so people become comfortable opening up to me and I always create the opportunity for people to teach me things. Even though they might be things I already know or have experienced, people love sharing their personal opinions and feelings with others. It is a bonding agent ! and raises peoples confidence and makes them feel good.
When people equate YOU with FEELING GOOD, they will want and appreciate you.
What you and most everyone else is after goes far deeper than male female attraction.
Bzzzzt! Wrong answer.
1. David D. sells crap. His advice is nice, but lacks depth and understanding. He's a great marketeer though!
2. Dating guru's don't know crap either. Any guy who calls himself a "guru" is usually full of it.
During this time, have you made any other changes besides listening to dating advice? It's gonna take alot more than that to find a woman. The way I see it, to find a woman, you've got to be a man. So how's the rest of your life? Body condition and health, appearance and style, social ties, family ties, business and career opportunities, hobbies... etc.
You've got to get the other stuff under control or at least be putting lots of effort into improving it before you expect a woman to come into your life. Effort is very attractive btw. Go to the gym sometime and work your ass off. The women take notice... trust me. You would to if a chick was doing the same.
P.S. whoops. I'm not supposed to be posting in this forum (23yo)... sorry.
1. David D. sells crap. His advice is nice, but lacks depth and understanding. He's a great marketeer though!
2. Dating guru's don't know crap either. Any guy who calls himself a "guru" is usually full of it.
During this time, have you made any other changes besides listening to dating advice? It's gonna take alot more than that to find a woman. The way I see it, to find a woman, you've got to be a man. So how's the rest of your life? Body condition and health, appearance and style, social ties, family ties, business and career opportunities, hobbies... etc.
You've got to get the other stuff under control or at least be putting lots of effort into improving it before you expect a woman to come into your life. Effort is very attractive btw. Go to the gym sometime and work your ass off. The women take notice... trust me. You would to if a chick was doing the same.
P.S. whoops. I'm not supposed to be posting in this forum (23yo)... sorry.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Oops, You might want to examine your mindset here.Hammer79 said:
IF you are doing it right, YOU get to choose the best women from the available pool- not the other way around.
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I'm trying to figure out ways to get out of my apartment and meet people. I took up ballroom dancing last fall as well as scuba diving. It was nothing but older people at dance classes. I don't seem to get to many calls from friends to do stuff and i'm not sure why. I just feel all alone and it would be nice to have a girl to share my life with. I joined a college and career group at church and some of the guy's were great but i don't know they were kinda geeky. I live in a smaller city of about 50000 and I'm just tired of being stuck in my place doing nothing with nobody calling me and at a loss on what to do to meet people. i don't drink either so i don't go out to bars.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
At least you are dating. Unemployed and looking for career here. Keep trying. It will work out. I have the same problem. My friends got married, left, or whatever. Small city and very little to do unless you like college bars. Time to move.
Exactly. Ever heard the expression "those who teach, can't do"? For all I know, David D and all his "dating gurus" could be sitting in their parents' basements right now, writing "self-help e-books" while taking a break from wacking off to internet porn.Alle_Gory said:
The first part of your sentence contradicts the second part. Share WHAT life?Hammer79 said:
Sometimes, you have to do the calling. Get people to go with YOU. Of course that requires more strategy and better social skills, but now is a good a time to learn as any.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
While David D may not know a thing about dating, he is likely the richest dating guru out there. So if he does take a break to whack off in the middle of e-book writing, it ain't in his parent's basement.J.F. said:
But yea, I get your point. Once I bought some of Ross Jeffries material, that was recorded in the mid nineties. On there was a story that started with "Just the other day I met these three girls..."
Then a few years later (at least a good five years after the original material was recorded) I went to one of his seminars.
He told the exact same story, and told it as if it happened last weekend...
As to the OP, the only way to get better is to go out and sarge. You'll learn alot about yourself, as well as improve yourself, if you cold approach on a daily basis.
Your post mentions two alarming things.
One is that nobody calls you, and other is that you want a girl to choose you.
That reflects a deeper belief that good things come to you.
You have to go find them.
It takes effort, and rejection, and failure, and mistakes, but it's the only way.
Just grab your balls and do it.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Hammer,
The basic problem is living in a small town,but don't let that stop your personal development,you are not doing a Life Sentence,Are You?....As far as Ballroom is concerned,you are not marrying the Old Girls you will Dance with,but as well as learning a useful Social Attribute,you will learn to mix and improve your bearing...maybe look at interests like Bush walking groups,always plenty of Girls there,never miss an opportunity to Socialise...Read become interesting,join ToastMasters...become fitter...This is your Boot Camp when you eventually move on you will be worth knowing.
The basic problem is living in a small town,but don't let that stop your personal development,you are not doing a Life Sentence,Are You?....As far as Ballroom is concerned,you are not marrying the Old Girls you will Dance with,but as well as learning a useful Social Attribute,you will learn to mix and improve your bearing...maybe look at interests like Bush walking groups,always plenty of Girls there,never miss an opportunity to Socialise...Read become interesting,join ToastMasters...become fitter...This is your Boot Camp when you eventually move on you will be worth knowing.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.