loving
Senior Don Juan
I wanna ask you about a girl I don't know. A girl I see every day but still don't know.
I see her every day and every day she sees me, and she gives me looks all the time. I'd call her an 8 if I had to rate her, though I don't like that concept.
She goes to my school, she has all my classes with me. When I'm there I'm pretty antisocial and don't talk to anyone much anyway. I figured it might be beneficial on this journey to have some sort of relationship while I'm there anyway on this ongoing basis.
However, I have a fear. The fear has one basic point, however I'm not sure on which side of that point my fear is on. The point being, that we are there together for the whole rest of the year. What I am not sure of, is whether I am afraid of ****ing up, or actually succeeding. Something tells me regardless, I won't want to keep it up. As if I have an expectation that she will make me be something that I am not and do not like.
Part of this fear is also the forced socializing involved. I do not like forced socializing. I react to things differently when I'm approached and forced to respond, rather than when I set the frame by talking to someone I want to talk to. It just feels like a burden to me, that if some day I go in there and just plain don't feel like talking, will there be some stupid highschool drama I don't wanna deal with? Will I have to deal with all the boring chatter that goes along with a girlfriend at school?
These are all questions I am asking myself and do not know what to do. Many an advisor has told me to stop over-thinking, however I see what I am saying as a practical block. Such things do not match my personality, and I want to decide on how to deal with this situation. Whether or not my personality will change as well is definite, and any tips based on what you've read and know on that subject would be great. I would aswell appreciate an answer based on your own experiences as to how much of what I believe is inhibiting me from taking action is actually true, and how much of it is rooted in falsity.
I see her every day and every day she sees me, and she gives me looks all the time. I'd call her an 8 if I had to rate her, though I don't like that concept.
She goes to my school, she has all my classes with me. When I'm there I'm pretty antisocial and don't talk to anyone much anyway. I figured it might be beneficial on this journey to have some sort of relationship while I'm there anyway on this ongoing basis.
However, I have a fear. The fear has one basic point, however I'm not sure on which side of that point my fear is on. The point being, that we are there together for the whole rest of the year. What I am not sure of, is whether I am afraid of ****ing up, or actually succeeding. Something tells me regardless, I won't want to keep it up. As if I have an expectation that she will make me be something that I am not and do not like.
Part of this fear is also the forced socializing involved. I do not like forced socializing. I react to things differently when I'm approached and forced to respond, rather than when I set the frame by talking to someone I want to talk to. It just feels like a burden to me, that if some day I go in there and just plain don't feel like talking, will there be some stupid highschool drama I don't wanna deal with? Will I have to deal with all the boring chatter that goes along with a girlfriend at school?
These are all questions I am asking myself and do not know what to do. Many an advisor has told me to stop over-thinking, however I see what I am saying as a practical block. Such things do not match my personality, and I want to decide on how to deal with this situation. Whether or not my personality will change as well is definite, and any tips based on what you've read and know on that subject would be great. I would aswell appreciate an answer based on your own experiences as to how much of what I believe is inhibiting me from taking action is actually true, and how much of it is rooted in falsity.