"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Fear.

Gubby

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
601
Reaction score
18
Age
36
Location
Spain
When you are about to do something, if you tend to get scared, you think "what if this and this happens?". This is the fear of a negative outcome more than anything else. You mistake "What if" for legitimate calculation - i.e. you think you actually need to make sure of all possibilities. It can be a useful habit in hazardous contexts, but in most cases this holds us back.

Usually the first thought is necessary to decide to do an action. If there are any real hazards of doing the action, your mind will almost instantly come up with a mental image of you being buried alive under a mound of chairs or whatever it is.

AFTER THAT, further time spent is only hesitation. If you think anything else after this key split second, it's worrying. Soon worrying and hesitation build up into fear which holds you back.

In this key moment you need to ask yourself, should I do this? If the answer is yes, you don't need to know any more. Just do it.

You don't need to make safe every eventuality. It's a LOT more fun to be a bit crazy and do things without overthinking, even if some of them crash and burn. Even crashing and burning's fun.

Sure, there are times to be cautious. Life in general isn't one of them.

Viva el capricho!:D


I'm planning an important section on fear in the wiki DJ Bible. When I get back from town today I'm going to add parts this article... any additional things about fear (threads maybe) you suggest adding?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Or, you plan before hand that you WILL do this, and if you back down, you fail as a man, and you should punish yourself properly, by redeeming yourself twice for that one failure. So if I wanted to make out with this chick, and I was unsure and puxxied out, I'd have to make out with 2 chicks to redeem myself.

Keep a list of failures and successes and highlight them green and red (yellow for ehh..). You'll either notice lots of success, a mix, or you're a failure after a while. :rolleyes:
 

zemaj

Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
great post gubby. really hit home. its the dam truth. and i am guilty of the whole overthinking thing. and it totally depresses you when you think back on missed opportunitys.
 
Top