Fear Of Rejection!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rushing dude 123]

I thought i should admit it first before i deal with it, so i Jordan have a fear of rejection. My skills socially and with women were utterly useless before i started field work, my approaches would b like 1 approach in 2 years lol. I have managed to improve my social skills and convosation skills with women tremendously and i believe that is not to much of a problem now compared to this. I am able to get a girl interested in most of the approaches i do at the moment, but i always wait for the perfect moment and before i know it shes gone. I always remember walking away thinking she was totally interested in you, why did you bail out, why didn't u ask her number and this goes over again and again.

I have not gotten any sleep because i am planning a big day today. I will try to solve this problem today. What i plan to do is do what i got to do, approach a girl and get her interest then say some thing like:
"i got to get going to ......., but is there a number i can reach u at"
"i am going now so write ur number down and i will call u sometime"
"i got to go, let me give you a call sometime, whats ur number"

Any advice or anything that helped u get out of this stage will b very much appreciated guys.

 

[EFFORT]

I thought i should admit it first before i deal with it, so i Jordan have a fear of rejection. My skills socially and with women were utterly useless before i started field work, my approaches would b like 1 approach in 2 years lol. I have managed to improve my social skills and convosation skills with women tremendously and i believe that is not to much of a problem now compared to this. I am able to get a girl interested in most of the approaches i do at the moment, but i always wait for the perfect moment and before i know it shes gone. I always remember walking away thinking she was totally interested in you, why did you bail out, why didn't u ask her number and this goes over again and again.

I have not gotten any sleep because i am planning a big day today. I will try to solve this problem today. What i plan to do is do what i got to do, approach a girl and get her interest then say some thing like:
"i got to get going to ......., but is there a number i can reach u at"
"i am going now so write ur number down and i will call u sometime"
"i got to go, let me give you a call sometime, whats ur number"

Any advice or anything that helped u get out of this stage will b very much appreciated guys.

The solution is the same as always, approach 30 chicks a week for 1-5years.

 

[DonJuan11]

What i plan to do is do what i got to do, approach a girl and get her interest then say some thing like:

"i got to get going to ......., but is there a number i can reach u at"
"i am going now so write ur number down and i will call u sometime"
"i got to go, let me give you a call sometime, whats ur number"

It depends how you interact with her and if you find something in common with her. She is not going to give you her number just because you couldn't sleep the night before. If she's attracted to you and you have something in common with her (clothes, movies, music, cars, history, the arts, politics are good; xbox, magic, video games, hockey cards, comic books, checkers, dungeons and dragons are bad) then perhaps she'll give you her number if she doesn't have a 6'1 bf she sleeps with everynight.

 

[everywomanshero]

Unless you're psychic you will never know the reality without making the move. Most women simply will not jump your bones in a setting like the mall. Even if the friends are encouraging her to make out with you or whatever, you will most likely have to make the move.

 

[nismo-4]

Unless you're psychic you will never know the reality without making the move. Most women simply will not jump your bones in a setting like the mall. Even if the friends are encouraging her to make out with you or whatever, you will most likely have to make the move.

I get kinda psychic by future sighting the situation. I either wind up bailing or not making a move at all, especially in clubs. It can save a lot of heartache. It always seems to tell me that "Face it, you're not meant to be with a woman. You'll get rejected or chewed out as usual, if not get a wrong #. Bail while you still can, dummy." Sometimes I feel that my ability to future sight these situations kicks ass, and I rely on it a lot. Sometimes, I just (mainly in clubs) go against it and DO ANYTHING! Normally either causes the girl to walk away or look at me like a dumbass. I'd rather be able to read minds.

Yeah, my game in the clubs sucks. Which is why I barely go. I get lucky at times and get to dance but as far as making things blossom, barely happens.

 

[MikeYikes122]

You just have to get it out of your mind that it matters. For some reason, 90 percent of the male population has it programmed into their subconscious that it's inappropriate to approach women in public. But the crazy thing is, 90 percent of women actually want to be approached.

Just get out in public and approach. Don't feel embarrassed about what you're doing and don't worry about failure. If you get shot down, you get shot down. It happens to every guy on the planet. I just got completely rejected at the mall the other day, and it's not the first or the last time that something like that will happen.

Besides, the worst thing that will happen is a girl will be non-receptive to you and one-wordish with you. And in that case, you just move on to the next girl.

It's really a pretty painless process.

 

[zinc64]

I thought i should admit it first before i deal with it, so i Jordan have a fear of rejection. My skills socially and with women were utterly useless before i started field work, my approaches would b like 1 approach in 2 years lol. I have managed to improve my social skills and convosation skills with women tremendously and i believe that is not to much of a problem now compared to this. I am able to get a girl interested in most of the approaches i do at the moment, but i always wait for the perfect moment and before i know it shes gone. I always remember walking away thinking she was totally interested in you, why did you bail out, why didn't u ask her number and this goes over again and again.

I have not gotten any sleep because i am planning a big day today. I will try to solve this problem today. What i plan to do is do what i got to do, approach a girl and get her interest then say some thing like:
"i got to get going to ......., but is there a number i can reach u at"
"i am going now so write ur number down and i will call u sometime"
"i got to go, let me give you a call sometime, whats ur number"

Any advice or anything that helped u get out of this stage will b very much appreciated guys.

Failure isn't a big deal. That's only in your mind so don't care so much about it. Look at it as a game and don't take anything personally but just as practice...like honing your skills.

Sometimes, in the past, I would go up to well over 100 girls a day. I would come home with dozens of numbers. You will start to get a lot better at conversation this way and lose your fear quickly.

 

[nismo-4]

You just have to get it out of your mind that it matters. For some reason, 90 percent of the male population has it programmed into their subconscious that it's inappropriate to approach women in public. But the crazy thing is, 90 percent of women actually want to be approached.

Just get out in public and approach. Don't feel embarrassed about what you're doing and don't worry about failure. If you get shot down, you get shot down. It happens to every guy on the planet. I just got completely rejected at the mall the other day, and it's not the first or the last time that something like that will happen.

Besides, the worst thing that will happen is a girl will be non-receptive to you and one-wordish with you. And in that case, you just move on to the next girl.

It's really a pretty painless process.

WOW! How could I forget the first rule on my 21 points of advice list (search for more posts by nismo-4 or sarch the forums for it.) You'll enjoy that list. Thanks for the reminder!

 

[MacAvoy]

Give the Don Juan Boot Camp a try. If you want skip to about week 2 if your semi comfortable approaching. Also remember the 3 second rule.

The pointof the 3 second rule is to encourage you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and and to avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state and gives her time to size you up and possibly decide not to talk to you - a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women.

Just do it. Go! Act in 3 second seconds as the default rule, even if you have no idea how you will continue. If you don't have an opener or opening line in mind by the time you're in front of her, at least just say "Hi". If you act in 3 second seconds, she will notice it, no matter where she just came in from' or where you came from' or even how you passed by each other. She will see the spontaneity and decisiveness in your approach and it can only work in your favor. If you wait, hesitate, then decide to approach, you put yourself in a weaker state. Hesitating will give your self-doubt a chance to create imaginary of bad outcomes and add undue insecurity to your approach.