Fear of rejection before asking her out is one thing, but...

[The Pedantical]

... what about fear of rejection after asking her out?

I find it to be absolutely devastating. I don't know why... I worked very hard to build up my confidence about women to be able to talk to them and everything. I don't really get stuck in one-itis situations and stuff like that, and being rejected by women isn't something that I find sad or painful anymore. The problem is not that it's painful, its that it's embarassing.

If a girl rejects me, I am not hurt because I know she doesn't like me (frankly I don't care, it's only one girl), but I feel so embarassed for such a long period of time that I found myself dropping out of classes in college just because I couldn't bear the shame of walking in the classrom and having her sitting somewhere in there looking at me. It happened with a number of girls already. It's getting to the point where I can't walk in the campus without being drunk out of my mind, because it's the only way to stand against my fear of running into one of the girls that rejected me because it would be so humiliating.

My grades have dropped enormously in the past year as well. If I take an exam and one of those girls is sitting there, I can't help but feel that there's a huge spotlight over my head and everyone knows what I'm doing. I can't even write down answers properly with my hands shaking, just because I'm so embarassed at the idea that someone may know that a girl has rejected me.

This is SO frustrating, because I can't change it no matter what I do! Usually I don't care at all about those girls. They reject me, fine, I don't care, I don't need to be with them--there's scores of other girls who can be 1000x better anyway. But I can't get over how humiliated I feel afterwards, even one or two years after having asked the girl out!

I know it's not normal, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it, the feeling is just too strong. Anyone has an advice? I'm really not too sure what I can do about this other than becoming an alcoholic

 

[Yapper]

Stop asking out girls in your class.

 

[Zhade]

If this stems from rationality

Reality check: Girls (and guys!) reject people all the time.

You should try talking to guy friends about this. Or friends. Or your teachers.

I know this is kind of an after school special answer, but seriously. You need to talk to people to realize that socially, this isn't a big deal. You probably think this and tell yourself repeatedly that it isn't a big deal, but it seems like you need to hear this from other people to know that this isn't a big deal.

If knowing that this realistically isn't a big deal doesn't help you, you might want to see a therapist.

In the short term, you definitely want to consider what Yapper did and stop asking out girls in your class until you can fix this problems. Your future > girls.

 

[Cash37]

Stop asking out girls in your class.

I agree.

If you dont like seeing women that turn you down everyday after they turn you down... mack outside your school.

 

[oteao99]

Fu ck them, they obviously don't give a fu ck about u, why should u give to ****s about them. They made the mistake by not going out with you! You haven't made any mistake my man, they have, they should be embarased!! it seems like you need to live a little bit more, don't have any regrets, I know deep down inside you are a hell of alot better off being rejected than having regret for not asking that girl out you could have gone all the way with . You are acting like a girl, I wish we were having this convo in real life so I could slap you accross the face.lol You need to start being a Alpha male , NOW!!

 

[Monkey]

Turn it on its head.

You've demonstrated having the guts to ask these girls out, something most of the other guys in your class would probably never do.

You'll actually find these girls respect you MORE because you made a move - you are a guy with balls who laid it on the line and asked them out.
Whether they accepted or not is irrelevant -part of them DOES respect you for it.

If you look at it that way, you should be able to walk tall and feel a buzz of confidence.