fear and excitement are the same emotion

[habdragon08]

Suppose an experienced skydiver goes on an outting with a newbie. They are both up in the plane, ready to go. They both get their heart pumping. Both of them have the same physical reaction. However the experienced skydiver mentally gets excited, while the newbie gets afraid and anxious. No words can possibly convince the newbie he shouldnt be afraid. No mindset can possibly convince him that he will come out in one peice. NOTHING. There is no substitute for experience.

Take this analogy and apply it to woman. No matter how much you tell yourself you know your oing to be fine, there is no substitute for experience. No knowledge can possibly compensate for that first approach.

Two AFCs both decide its time to change their lives. On the same night they both get dumped by their girlfriend for a jerk. Bob goes home, finds this site, reads the entire DJ bible in one night, gets up the next morning, reads more, goes out, and tries to DJ some girls he knows. Fred goes home, is so frustrated with woman that he goes to a party that night, talks to ten women, and gets rejected nine times, and gets one number, but he is going for action, so he leaves just as frustrated. Fred determines to talk to every woman he ever sees from then on.

Who is better off the next day? Fred has an attitude, Im going to talk to every woman, and one of them will have sex with me. Bob thinks Ill talk to the women I already know, and suddenly they will want me, with all this knowledge. Fred sees a woman and goes and talks to her. Bob sees a woman and wonders why his techniques dont work, reads more.


Moral: Nothing substitutes experience. PERIOD WITH A CAPITAL PERIOD.

If gene and joe start playing soccer the same day, Gene reads books on soccer, and joe just goes out and kicks a ball arround all day, whos going to become the goal scoring master first?

IN EVERY SINGLE THING ANYONE CAN POSSIBLY DREAM TO BE MASTER AT, EXPERIENCE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE. Why the F*ck should woman be different.

If your still reading, cut off your balls. Oh wait you cant because if you had any, you would be trying to get a woman now. Does an animal give a f*ck if a girl wants him? NO. Does an animal give a Sh*t if he has acne or if hes ugly? NO. Does an animal wait 3 days before calling? NO. Does the more experienced tomcat get more p*ssy? YES. Does the animal who takes the most risks with female animals produce the most ofspring? YES.

Humans have been arround about 10 million years. In those 10 million years, how long do you think phones and internet and weight lifting and the concept of "improving yourself" have been arround? Less than 100 years. Less than .01% of the time human males have sucessfully been screwing human females. What the F*ck do you think your gaining in terms of screwing woman by sitting on this site? What are you gaining by waiting 3 days to call? NOTHING The only thing that helps you gain in the world of seduction is actually seducing. Self Improvement hellps you with women about the same as it helps you become a master soccer player. A little, but not 1% as much as actually talkin to women and actively tryng to seduce them.

Next time you get a funny feeling or think "what if i get rejected" think "what if I die alone" or " What if i end up ith an averge girl wondering what if?" Go the fu*k out there and talk to women and you wont think that.


PS: If you have time to reply, you have time to go out and try to seduce a woman. I could repair all the ypos in this thread, or I could go to work an talk to everyone of the attractive ladies that comes in.

Use the advice well

 

[GaryUranga]

how about when exitement makes you "perform" (not sex) badly?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Fear and excitement aren't the same. Only one causes inner turmoil.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

nope, not the same.

One big difference is in motivation and decision making processes of the two. If someone is afraid, they will make decisions and take actions to avoid a specific thing. One who is excited wont be invovled in any planning or decision making process to avoid something, but rather in decision making that helps them enjoy the moment. 2 totally different behavior patterns, also the brain activity of the 2 are also different, (different brain regions involved). THe only thing they have in common are autonomous responses.

Its evident that they are not the same thing. Inspection of behavior patterns makes this clear.

 

[Holland]

Great Post. Thanks for reminding me.


Rumi:
“Today, like every other day,
We wake up empty and frightened.
Don't open the door to the study
And start reading.
TAKE DOWN THE DULCIMER!
Let the beauty we love
Be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways
To kneel and kiss the ground.”

 

[Brutus]

I don't know why that title since in your post you're actually focusing on Knowledge Vs. Experience, but you're right;

Fear and excitement are the same. This is a quote from Maxwell Maltz's Psycho Cybernetics:

"Many people have made the mistake of habitually interpreting the feeling of excitement as fear and anxiety, and therefore interpreting it as a proof of inadequacy. Any normal person who is intelligent enough to understand the situation becomes "excited" or "nervous" just before a crisis situation. Until you direct it toward a goal, this excitement is neither fear, anxiety, courage, confidence, or anything else other than a stepped-up, re-inforced supply of emotional steam in your boiler. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of additional strength to be used in any way you choose. Jack Dempsey used to get so nervous before a fight, he couldn't shave himself. His excitement was such that he couldn't sit or stand still. He did not, however, interpret this excitement as fear. He did not decide that he should run away because of it. He went forward, and used the excitement to put extra dynamite into his blows."

I agree wholeheartedly with this. I learned from NLP that things on its own don't mean anything. They just are. It is we, as meaning-makers that give things meanings. Think about it. If a woman gives you eye contact, what does it mean? On it's own, it doesn't mean anything. She just looked at you, that's all. You create meaning "her looking at me means she's attracted to me" in your head. Get it?

So, when you have that specific feeling (butteflies in stomach, faster heartbeat, maybe blushing) it is up to you how you label it. What's more useful to you, to interpret it as fear or as excitement? Choose well.

So what God_of_getting_layed is saying is false IMO. First of all, the motivation and decision making process of the two appears after one identifies the feeling, but as said earlier, it's up to an individual how he'll categorize it. Second, even if he decides it's a fear what he's feeling, avoidance is not the only option. It's flight or fight, remember?

I don't know about brain activity, but I don't care much about science. One would assume PhD's of psychology should know how this men & women thing works, but their books on the subject are mostly politically correct crap. I'm interested in what works, not what should work.

GaryUranga, this is probably an answer on your question:

"If you face a real crisis you need a lot of excitement. The excitement can be used to good advantage in the crisis situation. However, if you over-estimate the danger or difficulty, if you react to information that is faulty, distorted, or unrealistic, you are likely to call up much more excitement than the occasion calls for. Because the real threat is much less than you have estimated, all this excitement cannot be used appropriately. It cannot be "gotten rid of" through creative action. Therefore it remains inside you, bottled up, as "the jitters." A big excess of emotional excitement can harm rather than help performance, simply because it is inappropriate."

Walking up and talking to a woman is NO BIG DEAL. It's not a crisis situation, but guys act like it is, thus a big excess of emotional excitement harms their performance. What an irony.

 

[Doggystyle]

Its like when your a kid and you get a new computer game, you just pick it up and started playing, gameover after gameover, all the time until you got good then you don't die as often.

The manual was just to refer to if you really couldn't work something out while you where playing

Would anyone read the manual over and over again before picking up the game to try? i didn't think so

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know why that title since in your post you're actually focusing on Knowledge Vs. Experience, but you're right;

Fear and excitement are the same. This is a quote from Maxwell Maltz's Psycho Cybernetics:

"Many people have made the mistake of habitually interpreting the feeling of excitement as fear and anxiety, and therefore interpreting it as a proof of inadequacy. Any normal person who is intelligent enough to understand the situation becomes "excited" or "nervous" just before a crisis situation. Until you direct it toward a goal, this excitement is neither fear, anxiety, courage, confidence, or anything else other than a stepped-up, re-inforced supply of emotional steam in your boiler. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of additional strength to be used in any way you choose. Jack Dempsey used to get so nervous before a fight, he couldn't shave himself. His excitement was such that he couldn't sit or stand still. He did not, however, interpret this excitement as fear. He did not decide that he should run away because of it. He went forward, and used the excitement to put extra dynamite into his blows."

I agree wholeheartedly with this. I learned from NLP that things on its own don't mean anything. They just are. It is we, as meaning-makers that give things meanings. Think about it. If a woman gives you eye contact, what does it mean? On it's own, it doesn't mean anything. She just looked at you, that's all. You create meaning "her looking at me means she's attracted to me" in your head. Get it?

So, when you have that specific feeling (butteflies in stomach, faster heartbeat, maybe blushing) it is up to you how you label it. What's more useful to you, to interpret it as fear or as excitement? Choose well.

So what God_of_getting_layed is saying is false IMO. First of all, the motivation and decision making process of the two appears after one identifies the feeling, but as said earlier, it's up to an individual how he'll categorize it. Second, even if he decides it's a fear what he's feeling, avoidance is not the only option. It's flight or fight, remember?

I don't know about brain activity, but I don't care much about science. One would assume PhD's of psychology should know how this men & women thing works, but their books on the subject are mostly politically correct crap. I'm interested in what works, not what should work.

GaryUranga, this is probably an answer on your question:

"If you face a real crisis you need a lot of excitement. The excitement can be used to good advantage in the crisis situation. However, if you over-estimate the danger or difficulty, if you react to information that is faulty, distorted, or unrealistic, you are likely to call up much more excitement than the occasion calls for. Because the real threat is much less than you have estimated, all this excitement cannot be used appropriately. It cannot be "gotten rid of" through creative action. Therefore it remains inside you, bottled up, as "the jitters." A big excess of emotional excitement can harm rather than help performance, simply because it is inappropriate."

Walking up and talking to a woman is NO BIG DEAL. It's not a crisis situation, but guys act like it is, thus a big excess of emotional excitement harms their performance. What an irony.

You're citing the early works of Dr. Maltz which was first published in the 1950's. In the 70's he adjusted his premise such that fear (typically caused by uncertainty, a backward moving force) can be transformed into excitement (interest, a forward moving force). Each are different.

Understand that Dr. Maltz although insightful, was not formally trained as a psychologist. His hypothesis were sound however his vernacular were at times inaccurate.

 

[typical]

They are not the same, I feel fear when I'm faced with a life and death situation, I feel excited when a hot girl walks passed, I cant make a connection with the two sorry.

Now if you feel fear when you faced with a hot chick then you have issues man.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

by brutus
So, when you have that specific feeling (butteflies in stomach, faster heartbeat, maybe blushing) it is up to you how you label it. What's more useful to you, to interpret it as fear or as excitement? Choose well.

So what God_of_getting_layed is saying is false IMO. First of all, the motivation and decision making process of the two appears after one identifies the feeling, but as said earlier, it's up to an individual how he'll categorize it. Second, even if he decides it's a fear what he's feeling, avoidance is not the only option. It's flight or fight, remember?

your wrong.
while its true that you can label a certain emotion, just as we can use different mathematical symbols to denote a specific mathematical quantity. If I wanted, I could use the lamba symbol to denote 3.14, or I could use the standard one. But none of that is important if we ar debating on weither or not 3.14 and 3.15 are the same numbers (when the truth is, they are not)

Much in the same way, fear and axcitement are not the same thing (leats not drift off into what you call fear and excitement, lets go with what is universally accepted as fear and excitment). They are not the same thing. appraisal of behavior patterns show this. You cant deny this.

One who is experiencing fear while shift into a certain behavior pattern, or rather, his behavior patterns will be shaped to achieve a very specific objective exclusive to fear ie. to survive.(if the situation is a lifethreatening one) or to avoid riducule (if the situation is a social one). typically, the decison making processes that will occur to achieve these objectives or goals will typically involve planning and decion making to avoid something. becuase in most situations, that is the best strategy to use to acheive the objective(survive, avoid ridicule, etc.)

The goals or objectives of excitment arent anything like these, and certainly aversive behavior would not be a typical decision or strategy one would be unconciously calculating if we are experiencing excitment.

Appraisal of behavior patterns will make this very clear that these are comming from 2 different emotions.

Lets not let this discussion get too analytical, becuase those are ugly. lets end it right now, and concede that I am right.