Favourite conversation starters

[louis]

Hi all,

A question in a recent David De Angelo newsletter caught my attention. The guy said he was normally a good conversationalist, but found he froze when wanting to approach a good-looking woman.

I find I am often relaxed talking to people, but I go into fear/rejection/paralysis mode when I see an attractive woman I want to talk to.

David De A's suggestion is:

"Think of a favourite way to start a conversation", then rehearse it, then use it in the field.

The idea being that if you freeze, you have something you know to fall back on.

I have also read that saying 'Hi' or introducing yourself 'Hi, my name's Louis' are good conversation starters, but I don't really like these (unless there is already a connection like being in the same evening class).

I would like to have some original openers to start conversations with women 'cold' in everyday daytime situations like:

* Stations
* Bus stops
* Cafes
* Shops

If I had a few of these, I think I would feel a lot more confident.

Any suggestions for conversation openers?

 

[J-Man]

hmm... memorize a few lines so theres no excuse for not approaching... good idea. i think ill go DO A SEARCH and see what i can find

 

[louis]

I've done some pretty comprehensive searches of this site and the web myself, and virtually the ONLY conversation starters I have found are these:

1. Hi

2. Hi, are you from around here?

3. Excuse me, I need a woman's opinion. What do you think of ....?

4. "Hey, my name is X and I am conducting a social experiment to help me
overcome my fears of talking to women that I find attractive. Thank you
for participating!" (and then walk off)

I'm not happy with 1 and 2. Although I am happy to say Hi, I want something else to say to start a conversation. 4 is fun and original, but a little daunting.

That leaves 3 as a way to start a conversation.

But there must be other original interesting ways.

 

[captn caveman]

Just this weekend,

The two girls I it on, ending up with phone numbers,

And the two old lady friends I hooked up with,

Coincidentally they pulled out that "Hi" is the best starter, ok, "hello" in one case.

 

[louis]

Another one I've thought of (which I think was mentioned in one of the double your dating newsletters) is to notice something about their appearance.

"I just wanted to say I noticed your pointed red shoes"

(I was just sitting in a cafe observing about 10 different women in the queue. Nearly half of them had something noticeable about them, such as shoes, bag, scarf)

I think this observation works best with small items like hat, scarf or shoes.

 

[louis]

While I was in the cafe, I worked out that am in situations where I can meet women for at least 2 hours every day = 14 hours per week. These situations are:

Travelling by train and bus
Cafes
Shops

 

[louis]

Any opinions anyone?

 

[Reto]

"Nice tatoo. Did you design it?"...

I actually asked a girl at the gym that last night. She had a small sun on her lower back...

 

[Black Bahindian]

Finding an effective conversation starter may be easier than you think. The key is observation. If the woman has some sort of a distinct feature, comment on it. If she is smiling at a time when there really isn't much to smile about, comment her on it. If she has a particular hair style or clothing on, comment her on it. Find that certain uniqueness of the woman and advance on it, it's almost guaranteed instant rapport.

One comment that I like is, during the rapport, while the woman begins to give you eye contact:

"You have a unique type of eye contact. It's like when you look at the person who's talking to you (focus on her eyes) your eyes pierce into the person. I bet no one could look into your eyes and lie to you, huh."

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by Black Bahindian

"You have a unique type of eye contact. It's like when you look at the person who's talking to you (focus on her eyes) your eyes pierce into the person. I bet no one could look into your eyes and lie to you, huh."

are you ****ing serious? you must get no a$$ at all... ALL girls would be like yea hehehe and think wtf? who is this freak

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT besides a 50 year old gay novelist

zgo with the tried and true (any of these gems):

Walk up to girl and look down at your crotch and say.
He is not gonna suck himself.

Say hey do you work at subway? And she will say no. Then say damn cause you give me a footlong.

lick your lips and say to her "im getting your present ready"


Is that a ladder on your leg or a stairway to heaven


usually when i launch one of these bad boys at a chick we have ANAL INSTANTLY

 

[YATTA]

Walk up to girl and look down at your crotch and say.
He is not gonna suck himself.

That's probably the best line i've heard in a while.

 

[poonologist]

Originally posted by white_hype
are you ****ing serious? you must get no a$$ at all... ALL girls would be like yea hehehe and think wtf? who is this freak

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT besides a 50 year old gay novelist

zgo with the tried and true (any of these gems):

Walk up to girl and look down at your crotch and say.
He is not gonna suck himself.

Say hey do you work at subway? And she will say no. Then say damn cause you give me a footlong.

lick your lips and say to her "im getting your present ready"


Is that a ladder on your leg or a stairway to heaven


usually when i launch one of these bad boys at a chick we have ANAL INSTANTLY

no "normal" woman would ever go for any of the **** you said.i hope to god it was all one big joke cause you will only sleep with a woman by paying for it or if you get lucky enough to find slutsville,usa.with lines like that,thats what you deserve.please be kidding

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by poonologist
no "normal" woman would ever go for any of the **** you said.i hope to god it was all one big joke cause you will only sleep with a woman by paying for it or if you get lucky enough to find slutsville,usa.with lines like that,thats what you deserve.please be kidding

well they worked on your MOM!!!!!!!!!!


(you make it too easy for me)

 

[Black Bahindian]

Originally posted by white_hype
are you ****ing serious? you must get no a$$ at all... ALL girls would be like yea hehehe and think wtf? who is this freak

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT besides a 50 year old gay novelist

zgo with the tried and true (any of these gems):

Walk up to girl and look down at your crotch and say.
He is not gonna suck himself.

Say hey do you work at subway? And she will say no. Then say damn cause you give me a footlong.

lick your lips and say to her "im getting your present ready"


Is that a ladder on your leg or a stairway to heaven


usually when i launch one of these bad boys at a chick we have ANAL INSTANTLY

Eh, ok....... Maybe you didn't read the post right. That quote should not be used as an opener! (I said DURING the rapport) My quote was about eye contact, so how the hell can you make a statement about eye contact, if the woman didn't give you any eye contact to begin with? I agree with you, anyone who said was I said as a opener is going to get a from some woman, but after you opened up with the chick, then you can lay down statements like that. (I've used it, and its worked for me). The point of my post was that observation is a good way to find openers.

 

[poonologist]

Originally posted by white_hype
well they worked on your MOM!!!!!!!!!!


(you make it too easy for me)

\

lmao people are still saying that?
cmon,surely you couldve did better than that.
i guess with openers and cutdowns of that calibre i cant afford to argue with such an expert in the field of stupidity
spend a little bit of time on them little boy,you might come up with something not as worn out next time.

refer to sig

 

[squirrels]

Jesus people....how long do you have to be on the Internet before you learn that feeding trolls just makes them stronger?

 

[poonologist]

Originally posted by squirrels
Jesus people....how long do you have to be on the Internet before you learn that feeding trolls just makes them stronger?

1 day,which was the first day i started tapping the keys on a keyboard.im not "feeding" im just enjoying the stupidity.
this is definitely no where near what id consider arguing or "feeding".if i wanted to i couldve traded insults,but screw it.im here to learn and have fun,not for tossing insults back and forth with children.

 

[louis]

I know this thread deteriorated into a slanging match, but I'd like to add a little more.

This one is credited to David DeAngelo and a poster on sosuave called jwhite17:

"Can I ask you a quick question?"

She says, "Yes"

Reply with

"Are you single?"

(If she says "No", say "OK, have a good day")


So, for me that gives 3 standard openers as follows:

1. Asking her opinion
2. What she's wearing comment
3. "Are you single?"

I am happy to have these, as I know I can use them. I find it helps my confidence to know some opening lines in advance, and having a choice of 3 gives me more freedom.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

"Hi" or "Situation spesific like at buss-stop" or "Some compliment, Im going to get to know you" or "WTF are you doing, you WANT to dance with me so come" (To girls youve never met before )

 

[duke007]

If you're at a bus stop or station, just comment on the bus being late or something (it usually is)

I went to a stand-up variety show last night and a comedian used this as an opener. It was hilarious because it was so offbeat and ridiculous that you just have to laugh. However, I reckon most people are too boring to find it funny so I'd only used it if I felt particularly ZANY that day.

"Hi, my name is **** and I invented sand."