FAO Bigneil

[drellum]

Your inbox is full mate but in reply:

Hi there.

Seems strange reading that now!

I did push the door open and got a really sweet and honest response. However, this didn't help me and in fact pushed me back beyond square 1.

My theory at the time was to add her as a casual GF....but things, emotionally don't work that way.

Since then, I have avoided all contact and actually moved off the map completely, closing all social media, distancing mutual friends (who were becoming a problem) etc.

I sense (don't ask me how) that she will contact me soon, but in reality, it is probably too late. I have disconnected from her and have too many other options. I guess I will always love her but once bitten - and all of that!

D

 

[bigneil]

2-4 months seems long at the time, but when I look back on 8 girls who came back it took:

1) 13 months.
2) 7 months.
3) 13 months.
4) 7 months.
5) 7 months.
6) 3 months
7) 6 months.
8) 1 month.

(7 months on average).

But do you still want her after 4 months?

 

[drellum]

Not sure...Though I doubt it (BTW: I don't think 4 months is anything really!!).

Classic case of NC here: Got fit, gained confidence, got out of the old routine....why would you jump back in?

I honestly believe that we often don't miss the ex....we miss the routine and comfort zone. Found that I am able to pull girls that I would have never thought about 5 months ago. New lady on the scene who is looking hopeful. and a few others hovering on the edge.

I'll give it another month or two and I will have moved on.
But then I can guarantee, BANG, she will be in contact!

 

[bigneil]

Guys, is it just me, or was it harder to mess up relationships in the past? Maybe it's because I'm older.

I feel like it only takes one little slip-up to ruin a months-long relationship, despite all I've learned and my having so much more to offer. Perhaps it's the point where the honeymoon is over that the relationship ends. It's probably because they have more options than we do.

 

[zekko]

Perhaps it's the point where the honeymoon is over that the relationship ends.

Once the honeymoon ends, reality takes over.
Very few people are such good matches that they will stay together for long periods of time. When the buzz of chemicals starts to wear off, I think women are better at recognizing this than men are, for whatever reason.

Maybe because they're more attuned to relationships - they get more practice than men do, usually. Not only with the opposite sex, but relationships with families, friends, orbiters, etc. Women usually have extensive social support systems. Men tend to be more independent, IMO.

 

[SoSuave666]

Once the honeymoon ends, reality takes over.
Very few people are such good matches that they will stay together for long periods of time. When the buzz of chemicals starts to wear off, I think women are better at recognizing this than men are, for whatever reason.

Maybe because they're more attuned to relationships - they get more practice than men do, usually. Not only with the opposite sex, but relationships with families, friends, orbiters, etc. Women usually have extensive social support systems. Men tend to be more independent, IMO.

If one gender is doing the majority of their breakups because they aren't willing to "work at it," what does that say about the specific gender? A few adjectives come to mind: lazy, entitled, boring, pretentious...just to name a few. The mindset men need to have is that no matter what, the girl you are with will never find someone better. At the end of the day, if she splits, it's because she is fvcking crazy. When she is 30 and has settled for some b!tch beta with a d!ck, you will emerge from the shadows with a 7 figure income and a playboy bunny on your hip.

All hyperbole aside, it really is disheartening to know that relationships end usually just because the fire dies down on the woman's part. I'm no expert in relationships by any means, but it seems as though men rarely lose the spark of love, but women lose it arbitrarily. Obviously your feelings never remain at their peak, but men seem to be able to hold on to it longer than women. There's no real solution because women are holding the power. I don't care how many men on here, as individuals, go out and act alpha or whatever towards women. Fact is, 90% of this world is made up of betas. When she goes to bed at night she won't be thinking of the alpha dude who acted indifferent toward her and gamed her into making out with him at the club. She will be thinking of the thousands of beta males who she has control over. Until a vast majority of men turn things around, we are in trouble.

That said, I got laid last night from some 8 i picked up at the bar. I will never talk to her again because she seemed kinda...prissy. I'm doing my part.

And no, gpshields, I don't have a photo to back it up.

 

[bigneil]

If one gender is doing the majority of their breakups because they aren't willing to "work at it," what does that say about the specific gender? ...That said, I got laid last night from some 8 ... I will never talk to ...again because she seemed kinda...prissy. I'm doing my part.

Fight fire with fire? Nice job though.

You're right though that women often come back later and acknowledge that they never found another guy who (XYZ) like you did.

They are not good at seeing the big picture and give in to their fickle emotions of the moment (Evan was so cute that night - damn my boyfriend for spending so much time on that stupid NASA project!)