"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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False confidence.

LostAndConfused

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While I get dressed to go out on a date I notice something. Putting on my favorite pair of affliction jeans and my favorite graphic t-shirt which I saved up for, I notice my confidence boosts with my clothing.

Isn't something wrong with this?

Now this false confidence only boosts when my date complements me on my clothing.

But the next day, no matter how well the date went, my confidence goes back down to its usual, fairly low level.

i dont htink my clothing should determine how much confidence i have. anyone experience similar boosts of confidence when they dress well?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Daddy The Pimp

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LostAndConfused said:
While I get dressed to go out on a date I notice something. Putting on my favorite pair of affliction jeans and my favorite graphic t-shirt which I saved up for, I notice my confidence boosts with my clothing.

Isn't something wrong with this?

Now this false confidence only boosts when my date complements me on my clothing.

But the next day, no matter how well the date went, my confidence goes back down to its usual, fairly low level.

i dont htink my clothing should determine how much confidence i have. anyone experience similar boosts of confidence when they dress well?
There are a lot of things that determine your confidence . Clothing is on that list to . WHY ?

Because , when you dress good , you feel more beautiful . When you have nice body , you will be the king of the beach . When you do a crazy new hairstyle youll feel like a star . And its nice , to find things like these , that boosts your confidence and use them on your advantage , work on them and get that confidence .
 

Crazy Asian

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i find that having a positive outlook on life gives me a higher level of confidence overall. Sure i get that little "boost" when i dress nicely or just got out of swim practice, but i believe that our confidence level grows as we experience new things in life and as we become less afraid of what we don't know. Have a purpose, know that everything will be alright because you trust yourself. If something fails, so what, it's not the end.

That's what I think.
 

Teh_Wolf

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yeah but isnt it somewhat bad to depend on boosts from things like that. like i know tyler from rsd (or it mighta been natural tim) said that he wanted to work on doing well without depending on things like that, so he would dress badly on purpose to help develope his core confidence. That way he would never have to worry how he looked to feel great ect.
 

SinJester

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It's normal to feel better when you are dressed well. It's just conditioning by society. Ideally you should be able to hold that level of confidence all the time. Like Teh Wolf said. But hey there's nothing wrong with feeling good when you are dressed well! Enjoy it. Just work on being confident ALL THE TIME.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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TakenDirectly

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It's weird, but I have a pretty bad habit of doing this too. If I put on a shirt that I feel makes me look chubby then I definitely do not feel as confident when I wear something that is more fitting. Appearance only affects your confidence because you feel more accepted when you look better. Not necessarily "accepted" so much as you feel that less/no people will think/look at you negatively. It's not a BAD thing to care about your appearance, but in my opinion the more you build up that good feeling of "looking good" the less and less picky you will be over what you wear. Of course, you won't go out in a garbage bag, but you will be able to put on a shirt or jeans that aren't the best and still be able to say "hey, I look good". Just my 2 cents.
 
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