Fake name

[BritBoy]

When I go out and pick up girls I sometimes use a fake name and a second phone number. If it's just short term fun and games I figured it's perhaps best not to, and unneccesary, to reveal too much about myself.

Do you guys do that too?

Recently kind of come unstuck with one of the casual relationships progressing into something more meaningful. How would you guys handle this?

Many thanks!

 

[seano99]

i haven't done this yet, but i probably wouldn't bother. in the past i've avoided telling a girl where specifically i work and/or live..

sorry to hear about you coming unstuck. you should be entitled to at least one mistake with your new chick. have you thought about telling her you had a stalker once and you're just super cautious now. she should feel special you've opened up to her. hopefully that was all you lied about.. if it's your entire life you've made up, i dont think you'd be able to pull that off.

keep us updated man

 

[mikeyb]

Are you planning to cut these girls up into little pieces when you're done with them or something? I can understand the second number, but the fake name is unecessary IMO.

 

[seano99]

Lying about your name at parties is a good idea, seems like it'd make the girl more into you because you'd answer her differently than you would telling your real name.

i could see how this works.

like a halloween party or something where you're in costume, it's easier to let loose because you're playing the character.

i -might- try it sometime.

 

[BritBoy]

Thank you all for your thoughts.

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I thought it gives you peace of mind if they don't know your real name, place of work etc, if, for whatever reasons, you don't want to see them again.

Girls are commonly nosey too and like to 'google' you to find out more about you. That's also one of the reasons that puts me off telling a girl too many specifics about me if I don't see the potential in her.

But then of course, you would get into a sticky situation like I am in now when things progress from being a causal fling to something a bit more serious...

 

[Cinamon]

When I go out and pick up girls I sometimes use a fake name and a second phone number. If it's just short term fun and games I figured it's perhaps best not to, and unneccesary, to reveal too much about myself.

Do you guys do that too?

Recently kind of come unstuck with one of the casual relationships progressing into something more meaningful. How would you guys handle this?

Many thanks!

Yeah, I have been doing this for years. I think most guys are understanding about it when you come clean afterwards and can laugh it off. For those that dont have a sense of humour, the stalker story is great.

There are a number of guys i am glad I didnt give my real name or work info too, thats just asking for trouble.

 

[BritBoy]

So a bit of an update, finally come clean with my fake name, she said it's a bit weird but can sort of understand.

However, I think we can both sense something's changed and we kind of ended the evening with her saying 'Sorry I had some loverly evenings with you, not sure what happened tonight, as I think you are cute and good company but for whatever reason Im just not ready to take it any further'

I kind of accepted that. Hold my hands up and acknowledge my bad. She then invites me to her birthday party which is coming up. I declined and said it will be awkward...since...with me coming clean it's pretty clear I intend it to be more than just a fling (otherwise I wouldnt have given a toss). Showed my hand and ruined my game!!!!

Feel sh1tty really! (and drunk). Salvagable? Or move on?

Edit: I've chosen to move on. Too much energy wasted already on what seem to be a dead end

 

[seano99]

So a bit of an update, finally come clean with my fake name, she said it's a bit weird but can sort of understand.

However, I think we can both sense something's changed and we kind of ended the evening with her saying 'Sorry I had some loverly evenings with you, not sure what happened tonight, as I think you are cute and good company but for whatever reason Im just not ready to take it any further'

I kind of accepted that. Hold my hands up and acknowledge my bad. She then invites me to her birthday party which is coming up. I declined and said it will be awkward...since...with me coming clean it's pretty clear I intend it to be more than just a fling (otherwise I wouldnt have given a toss). Showed my hand and ruined my game!!!!

Feel sh1tty really! (and drunk). Salvagable? Or move on?

Edit: I've chosen to move on. Too much energy wasted already on what seem to be a dead end

it's actually good you declined her invite. she might get keen for you again, but you really have to play hard to get and bring your A game.

if you arent interested move on, in fact move on anyway, it will only help your game.

i wouldnt have thought coming clean with your name would necessarily reveal your hand. sure, at first glance it seems that way. but it should have been sold in the way that it was hardly an issue.. maybe your delivery wasn't that good. if you made it out to be a problem, it would be a problem..

did you give her the stalker reason? my guess is you didn't.

since you didn't, now she thinks you have been a player/slut since you gave her a fake name.

 

[BritBoy]

Thank you for your thoughts Seano.

She has also asked me to do lunch with her some time next week and I have also declined. Basically saying I know we have a busy week coming up so lets just catch up when things let up, something along them lines, just being vague about meeting up again. If anything things have been happening fast the last couple of weeks and we needed time to cool off regardless. On top of that there's a big danger I feel that I'd be approaching the friend zone pretty soon, if not already have done so, with the way things are heading at the moment.

It's been a strange one cos up to this point it has been her doing a fair bit of chasing. And I have been doing a good job of maintaining her IL and being a challenge myself. But you are probably right about my delivery when coming clean about my fake name wasn't that good. In fact, I still wince when I think about my delivery - it was basically the opposite of everything I've done up to this point to keep up my game.

I went out today and met a new girl, but must admit am still a little hung up about this one, perhaps it's cos I'm genuinely into her, or perhaps it's my ego. I can't be bothered figuring that one out at the moment.

Anything more I can or should be doing at this point? Thoughts?

 

[seano99]

In fact, I still wince when I think about my delivery - it was basically the opposite of everything I've done up to this point to keep up my game

i thought that could be the case.. but like i said it's not too late if you're still interested in her. the text in bold is the root of the problem.

but must admit am still a little hung up about this one, perhaps it's cos I'm genuinely into her, or perhaps it's my ego. I can't be bothered figuring that one out at the moment.

the ego is definitely involved, so be careful that now you dont fall into the trap of doing all the chasing...

Anything more I can or should be doing at this point? Thoughts?

at this point, she is probably hurt and confused. you being vague about catching up was good. this will help us now as we move forward and reignite attraction.

what i would suggest is to arrange to hang out next week, so it will have been SEVEN days since you had the discussion (try not to go TOO long before seeing her, because otherwise too much time will pass and you could already be in the friendzone like you picked up on).

make sure she knows you've been SUPER BUSY the week leading up to that date. sounds like she could know this already, which is good.

the thing is dude, she's disappointed now she thinks you're not the great guy she was getting to know. BUT she will be STOKED if you turn out to be that guy. SHE WANTS YOU TO BE THAT GUY!!! you can take that to the bank.

make sure you do something that is FUN for both of you on this SEVENTH day. it should be an ACTION date so you are both absorbed in the activity - not in excessive conversation (where you could drown).

the fact is, this date will be make or break. it will determine if she wants to hang out again.

on this FUN time, when you meet up with her pretend like the fake name NEVER happened. i mean, this should show with your body language, confidence, etc - you need to be how you were around her when you were using your fake name. DO NOT enter into any discussion of the fake name with her!

if you've slept with her before (or possibly even if you haven't.. ever heard of make up sex?) you should try to make sure she is turned on enough by the end so you can both sleep with each other. or at least get physical with each other. make her wet and this will strengthen the bond.

what we are trying to do is keep whatever (small?) attraction vibe you have left going, and then build it back up again. if you let it die completely - that is the friendzone. so be aware of that.

you probably should send a SUBTLE flirty sms between now and seeing her, to pique her interest, and so you give her the subtle sexual vibe and reduce chances of the FZ.

in summary, the reason things have changed is because of the delivery. she doesn't think you are the same guy she was getting to know. you need to SHOW her you are the same guy, but WITHOUT coming across as acting or trying too hard. i'll say it again, WITHOUT coming across as acting or trying too hard. you need to be the cool, fun and relaxed guy she likes. her IL is low now, but it can be regained if you can be the person you were before, because she WAS interested in that guy.

next time, definitely use the stakler line man! and deliver it with confidence = no problems.

i hope i have helped..

good luck.

 

[BritBoy]

Thank you Seano you've given some great pointers and will definitely give them a go.

I'm gonna wait a while and see if she contacts me first though (she has a habit of initiating contact first in the past) since she knows I'm interested in her already. This fake name thing does play a part I reckon but who knows there might be other underlying reasons that her IL tanked, ie. still hung up about her ex, see dating as a means of seeking attention, bad day at the office etc. And I've learnt that second guessing why women do things are futile.

If anything though, this experience would help me develop my inner-game. Having success with various women the last few months has blinded me of some glaring weaknesses in me which I have swept under the carpet and not deal with properly.

Thank you again for your pointers! Will write again when I have an update.

 

[seano99]

Thank you Seano you've given some great pointers and will definitely give them a go.

I'm gonna wait a while and see if she contacts me first though (she has a habit of initiating contact first in the past) since she knows I'm interested in her already. This fake name thing does play a part I reckon but who knows there might be other underlying reasons that her IL tanked, ie. still hung up about her ex, see dating as a means of seeking attention, bad day at the office etc. And I've learnt that second guessing why women do things are futile.

If anything though, this experience would help me develop my inner-game. Having success with various women the last few months has blinded me of some glaring weaknesses in me which I have swept under the carpet and not deal with properly.

Thank you again for your pointers! Will write again when I have an update.

you sound like a cool guy. for some reason i see a lot of clarity in how to deal with your situation. so i am curious to ask,

what are the glaring weaknesses you have swept under the carpet? maybe we could all learn from these.

hope to hear how it pans out.

 

[BritBoy]

Cheers Seano!

I think ultimately my game is week. Every now and then the beta in me surfaces, especially in situations where it’s out of my control. And whenever that happens instead of addressing it head on I move onto a new girl/girls to regain composure and control.

The thing is, I don’t like or don’t want to keep doing it. Lets not talk about the girl/girls in question, ultimately the goal is to grow to be a complete alpha.

Another thing also is that, I’m curious to know if there are any better strategies than next-ing the girl. Next-ing the girl is easy, but it might let you glaze over some other issues which perhaps is best if you address it.

Perhaps this fake name thing, apart from a ploy to be more anonymous when playing the field (I’m living in a small city, so it’s easy to build a reputation, my real name is f**ked already haha, you know how women gossip). On a subconscious level it helps me keep the beta in me under-wrap, which is not good!!

Perhaps I could make this experience a sticking point to remind me the importance of truly working on my inner-game rather than delaying it.

 

[BritBoy]

So after what seems to be an eternity here is an update -

It's been a month since we last met and the 'revelation' because we both has a hectic social and work schedule. We have been keeping in touch with texts though.

So we met up for drinks a couple of days ago. I didn't do any of the things Seano advised though (Sorry Seano!) I made very little effort in making it a fun date, didn't say or do anything amazing (apart from a couple nags)...and in fact left my game at home totally. I was not scruffy but I didn't turn up in my best shirt either (in contrast she's all dressed up but then again it maybe just her work clothes)

Now I don't know why I didn't go into it full of plans and energy, maybe my own IL has dropped, or maybe I thought I need to go the other way and make it look like 'I don't really care that much' since I've revealed my interest to her last time when I told her about the 'fake name' business (at which point subsequently she said she didn't want to go further)

I still have a soft spot for her though....any thoughts?

 

[DonGorgon]

yup i never use my real name.. cause these low life hos dont need to know anything about me... and the funny thing is the more shady you are the more eager these hos are to F you ... if you let them know too much it get complicated and harder to F

 

[londonzen]

i use my nickname with girls if its a social situation (ie im in groups)
then they get into that wats your real name thing.
i tell them the nickname with a serious face or say to my friends " aint my name blah blah" they will usually back me up
but if i aproach on my own then i will usuaLLy give my name

 

[JJ109]

Lying about your name at parties is a good idea, seems it'd make the girl more into you because you'd answer her differently than you would telling your real name.

then you would become someone who you aren't and if you plan a further relationship with the girl...she would realize you're a fake.