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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

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And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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Failure is Golden!

Survivor

Master Don Juan
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The National Football League does a horrible job of grading and evaluating college quarterbacks. Each year there’s some crop of talented young, highly touted QBs who are supposed to be the next Marino, Elway, Favre, Montana, etc. They are graded on arm strength, mechanics, decision-making, intelligence, mobility, and of course, their high school and college performance. Yet every draft pick is still a crap shoot.

There’s a certain former QB who has the dubious distinction of being the biggest draft bust in NFL history. With much fanfare, he was drafted #2 overall to the Chargers in 1998, He was supposed to be as good or better than Peyton Manning. Instead, he was a complete flop, eventually phased out of the league after four years.

So how were NFL scouts to know this former QB would turn out so badly? Beforehand, he had been very successful at every level. He excelled in high school. He excelled in college. He posted great passing stats. He had the size, the mobility, the cannon arm. Teammates never questioned his ability. He never got benched. He almost never failed on the football field. Yet, he failed miserably once he reached the NFL.

However, there was another QB drafted to the Patriots a few years later. He had a successful college career, won a few conference titles, but nothing spectacular. He was in and out of the starting lineup throughout his four years, always getting benched by other QBs who coaches thought were better. However he persevered and earned a spot as a team captain. But even after that he lost his starting job during midseason of his senior year. Pro scouts were skeptical. They thought he was too skinny. He didn’t look like the prototypical quarterback. Plus, he wasn’t good enough to earn the trust of his college coaches, which was evident by the fact that he kept getting benched. With almost no fanfare, this other quarterback was drafted in the 6th round, 199th overall. However, when his chance to start a game came, he excelled…and the rest is Super Bowl history.

So what was the difference between the two quarterbacks that caused one to be a perennial draft day joke punch line and another to be a future Hall of Famer?

One word. FAILURE.

The first QB never experienced failure in his college career. And once he was forced to deal with adversity for the first time in the NFL, he had no prior experiences of how to cope, thus completely caving under the pressure.

In contrast, the second QB experienced failure and disappointment throughout his college career. He came into the league 4th string on the depth chart, but from past experience, he knew how to deal with it. He only got to play when the starting QB got injured, but again, from past experience, he knew how to deal with that too. Ironically, it was his failures, not his successes that made the 2nd QB a vastly better quarterback than the 1st QB.

Such is life. There is a vast shortage in our society of men who effectively cope with adversity, failure, rejection, and disappointment. Everyday we face failure at our jobs, rejection from women, and disappointment from our so-called friends. How one deals with these experiences is what makes the difference between men and boys.

Count it a blessing when you face failure and rejection. It is an opportunity for you to develop a sense of perseverance, to learn, and to grow. The man you will become tomorrow is worth any embarrassment you may feel today. The first QB never faced failure, and thus never knew how to man up in stressful situations.

Embrace your failures and learn from them, and you too can be a Hall of Famer in life.
 

djbr

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Welcome back Survivor. :D
 

Consent

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Interesting example, but there are flaws. If Ryan Leaf has so many failures in the NFL, then he should eventually get better as he gets a bit older. And I don't think that one should focus on failures. Yes, you should acknowledge them and adjust, but you should focus on successes.
 

Contender

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Survivor said:
The National Football League does a horrible job of grading and evaluating college quarterbacks. Each year there’s some crop of talented young, highly touted QBs who are supposed to be the next Marino, Elway, Favre, Montana, etc. They are graded on arm strength, mechanics, decision-making, intelligence, mobility, and of course, their high school and college performance. Yet every draft pick is still a crap shoot.

There’s a certain former QB who has the dubious distinction of being the biggest draft bust in NFL history. With much fanfare, he was drafted #2 overall to the Chargers in 1998, He was supposed to be as good or better than Peyton Manning. Instead, he was a complete flop, eventually phased out of the league after four years.

So how were NFL scouts to know this former QB would turn out so badly? Beforehand, he had been very successful at every level. He excelled in high school. He excelled in college. He posted great passing stats. He had the size, the mobility, the cannon arm. Teammates never questioned his ability. He never got benched. He almost never failed on the football field. Yet, he failed miserably once he reached the NFL.

However, there was another QB drafted to the Patriots a few years later. He had a successful college career, won a few conference titles, but nothing spectacular. He was in and out of the starting lineup throughout his four years, always getting benched by other QBs who coaches thought were better. However he persevered and earned a spot as a team captain. But even after that he lost his starting job during midseason of his senior year. Pro scouts were skeptical. They thought he was too skinny. He didn’t look like the prototypical quarterback. Plus, he wasn’t good enough to earn the trust of his college coaches, which was evident by the fact that he kept getting benched. With almost no fanfare, this other quarterback was drafted in the 6th round, 199th overall. However, when his chance to start a game came, he excelled…and the rest is Super Bowl history.

So what was the difference between the two quarterbacks that caused one to be a perennial draft day joke punch line and another to be a future Hall of Famer?

One word. FAILURE.

The first QB never experienced failure in his college career. And once he was forced to deal with adversity for the first time in the NFL, he had no prior experiences of how to cope, thus completely caving under the pressure.

In contrast, the second QB experienced failure and disappointment throughout his college career. He came into the league 4th string on the depth chart, but from past experience, he knew how to deal with it. He only got to play when the starting QB got injured, but again, from past experience, he knew how to deal with that too. Ironically, it was his failures, not his successes that made the 2nd QB a vastly better quarterback than the 1st QB.

Such is life. There is a vast shortage in our society of men who effectively cope with adversity, failure, rejection, and disappointment. Everyday we face failure at our jobs, rejection from women, and disappointment from our so-called friends. How one deals with these experiences is what makes the difference between men and boys.

Count it a blessing when you face failure and rejection. It is an opportunity for you to develop a sense of perseverance, to learn, and to grow. The man you will become tomorrow is worth any embarrassment you may feel today. The first QB never faced failure, and thus never knew how to man up in stressful situations.

Embrace your failures and learn from them, and you too can be a Hall of Famer in life.
:up: :up:

The answers to becoming a DJ lie in this short, and brilliant, post. Being a DJ is a state of being; by having this attitude towards life, one will become successful with women, one's career, and life in general.

Experience is the best teacher. Through our failures, we can grow into successful men/dj.

I've shared this perspective before I entered the board, and let me tell you... it feels great.

Rejections do not hurt as much... life becomes more enjoyable.
 

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
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I wish people would look at "failure"(doesnt belong in my dictionary) as more of a lesson learned. Every lesson learned is a chance for us to grow and learn from out past slip ups.
 

djbr

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I still don't know why some people confuse "failure as improvement" as "focusing on failure". Are you THIS scared of failure?

Failure has NOT to be always a NEGATIVE thing for you to be so scared of even thinking about it!
 

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Hooray Rejection!
 

Crowes

Don Juan
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One of the most mature, outstanding post I have read.
 

Rollo Tomassi

Master Don Juan
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There are no mistakes, only outcomes. They may not be the outcome you'd like or were expecting, but outcomes nonetheless.

There is no failure, only feedback. Thomas Edison can tell you a thousand ways not to make a light bulb, but only one way to make one. The only true failure is not to learn from your feedback.
 

mountain

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rsxtreme said:
great points, but failing sucks
I've found that failing only sucks when you puss out and go against your instinct. When you've grabbed your balls and tried something, you feel great no matter what actually becomes of it.

On a somewhat related note,
Don't get caught in the box of believing that being kind to a woman is AFC. Kindness takes balls to execute a lot of times. I've really fallen into being too much of a jerk (not calling but every 2 weeks) and lost some women. It's really the balls to be rejected that women like, not just ****iness.

What I'm saying is, attempting something that pushes your boundries is never a failure. Doing something half ass or in a way that you feel is safe is most definately a failure.
 

ImpatientFire

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:rockon: great post! I totally agree with you and it's a good thing I've gradually started seeing life in this way.
 

killbill

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its true I agree. pretty good post/
 

UltimateScoundrel

Master Don Juan
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Fortunately, everyone here has experienced their share of failure. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here.
 
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