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Failed to give her the fire box

twelveightyone

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This girl I was dating a few months ago when covid was around came by last night to get her things. She kept leaving stuff at my house -- jewelry, makeup, soap, underwear, etc.. I think it was her attempt to keep other women away because she would always leave things here.

I broke it off with her a couple months ago because she was very pushy/clingy and basically trying for a serious relationship. For context she lives more than hour away and is a bit older/heavier than I prefer.

After giving her a few months to cool off, I hit her up on IG to come get her stuff and she came by yesterday. She called this a fire box?! I offered her a glass of wine because she was upset when she arrived and then one thing lead to another... she ended up staying the night.

She wants an exclusive relationship, but I told her that I don't think I can give this to her. Any suggestions on how to keep her as just a date or do they all reach a point where you just need to let them go?
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
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From : https://calebjones.com/2013/12/01/how-my-open-relationships-usually-look-s/


During the first several months I do not talk about our relationship at all. I do not ask her any questions about it, and I will dodge any questions she gives me. Questions like "Where is this going?" or "What am I to you?" or "Are you still having sex with other girls?" get nothing out of me except a snort and a smartass comment, and then I change the subject. This works for about three to six months. Most women are sensitive about looking like a needy *****, so they don't press it. This is especially true with women age 22 to 37. (The very young girls and the over-age-37s tend to get a little more bitchy or whiny faster regarding "where the relationship is going", but this is a generalization that isn't always true.)

At about the five-month mark or so (on average), she will finally NEED to have her relationship questions answered. Dodging questions won't work any more. At this point she's either in love with me or very close to it, and she needs answers. She knows damn well I'm ****ing other women even though I have not verbalized it, and needs to know where she stands in my future.

That's when we have The Talk. This is where I finally verbalize everything. The Talk is a big subject that I cover in the ebook, but the abbreviated version is me saying, in very nice and caring way:

"I love being with you, and I want to stay with you. I want to be in your life forever. But I will never, ever be sexually monogamous. Ever. Even if we get married or live together down the road, I will still be discreetly getting something on the side. If that's unacceptable to you and you need to leave me because of it, I'll be very sad, but I'll understand and I'll let you go. I hope you stay with me, because I want to stay with you, but you have to make your own decisions."

What usually happens is that she cries for a little bit and says, "I don't know. I'll have to think about it." Then several days later, I see her again, and the relationship resumes. Sometimes they say nothing about the conversation and just resume like nothing ever happened. Other times they will come back with some "rules". Such as, "That's fine as long as you use condoms on other women" or whatever.

Since I already do that, those bases are already covered. I use condoms, have never gotten a woman pregnant on accident in my entire life, get tested for every STD in the universe three times a year, and will often show my MLTRs my clean test results. Open/poly relationships only work if both adults are sexually responsible, and I make sure to do my part. She must also, or else she gets nexted or downgraded to FB.
 

RickTheToad

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This girl I was dating a few months ago when covid was around came by last night to get her things. She kept leaving stuff at my house -- jewelry, makeup, soap, underwear, etc.. I think it was her attempt to keep other women away because she would always leave things here.

I broke it off with her a couple months ago because she was very pushy/clingy and basically trying for a serious relationship. For context she lives more than hour away and is a bit older/heavier than I prefer.

After giving her a few months to cool off, I hit her up on IG to come get her stuff and she came by yesterday. She called this a fire box?! I offered her a glass of wine because she was upset when she arrived and then one thing lead to another... she ended up staying the night.

She wants an exclusive relationship, but I told her that I don't think I can give this to her. Any suggestions on how to keep her as just a date or do they all reach a point where you just need to let them go?
And here I though you were talking about an STD from the title; fire box.
 

Willie Naylor

Master Don Juan
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This girl I was dating a few months ago when covid was around came by last night to get her things. She kept leaving stuff at my house -- jewelry, makeup, soap, underwear, etc.. I think it was her attempt to keep other women away because she would always leave things here.

I broke it off with her a couple months ago because she was very pushy/clingy and basically trying for a serious relationship. For context she lives more than hour away and is a bit older/heavier than I prefer.

After giving her a few months to cool off, I hit her up on IG to come get her stuff and she came by yesterday. She called this a fire box?! I offered her a glass of wine because she was upset when she arrived and then one thing lead to another... she ended up staying the night.

She wants an exclusive relationship, but I told her that I don't think I can give this to her. Any suggestions on how to keep her as just a date or do they all reach a point where you just need to let them go?
If she's older and heavier than you prefer, then let her go.

No need to keep fvcking a pvssy you don't want to fvck anymore.
 

Stuffnu

Don Juan
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Yes, she was marking her territory by leaving shiate.
You know what you want so stick with it.
Plates will break so just get another one from the cupboard.
 

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EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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From : https://calebjones.com/2013/12/01/how-my-open-relationships-usually-look-s/


During the first several months I do not talk about our relationship at all. I do not ask her any questions about it, and I will dodge any questions she gives me. Questions like "Where is this going?" or "What am I to you?" or "Are you still having sex with other girls?" get nothing out of me except a snort and a smartass comment, and then I change the subject. This works for about three to six months. Most women are sensitive about looking like a needy *****, so they don't press it. This is especially true with women age 22 to 37. (The very young girls and the over-age-37s tend to get a little more bitchy or whiny faster regarding "where the relationship is going", but this is a generalization that isn't always true.)

At about the five-month mark or so (on average), she will finally NEED to have her relationship questions answered. Dodging questions won't work any more. At this point she's either in love with me or very close to it, and she needs answers. She knows damn well I'm ****ing other women even though I have not verbalized it, and needs to know where she stands in my future.

That's when we have The Talk. This is where I finally verbalize everything. The Talk is a big subject that I cover in the ebook, but the abbreviated version is me saying, in very nice and caring way:

"I love being with you, and I want to stay with you. I want to be in your life forever. But I will never, ever be sexually monogamous. Ever. Even if we get married or live together down the road, I will still be discreetly getting something on the side. If that's unacceptable to you and you need to leave me because of it, I'll be very sad, but I'll understand and I'll let you go. I hope you stay with me, because I want to stay with you, but you have to make your own decisions."

What usually happens is that she cries for a little bit and says, "I don't know. I'll have to think about it." Then several days later, I see her again, and the relationship resumes. Sometimes they say nothing about the conversation and just resume like nothing ever happened. Other times they will come back with some "rules". Such as, "That's fine as long as you use condoms on other women" or whatever.

Since I already do that, those bases are already covered. I use condoms, have never gotten a woman pregnant on accident in my entire life, get tested for every STD in the universe three times a year, and will often show my MLTRs my clean test results. Open/poly relationships only work if both adults are sexually responsible, and I make sure to do my part. She must also, or else she gets nexted or downgraded to FB.
This is true and I vouch for it. Some women just come back out of the blue and are DTF. They just can’t forget you. After she has a break up, she wants rebound sex from someone other than her recent ex. But not a stranger. So she goes through her phone and “checks in” with her high score men.

I had one chick.. inconsistent and floaty. I’ve had sex with her 1-2 times per year for the last 4 years. She always comes back for a bang then ghosts. This year I’m in an LTR. I told her about it- she says “oh you know can I still check up on you?”

Translation: can I still call you when I need to fvck?
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
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This girl I was dating a few months ago when covid was around came by last night to get her things. She kept leaving stuff at my house -- jewelry, makeup, soap, underwear, etc.. I think it was her attempt to keep other women away because she would always leave things here.

I broke it off with her a couple months ago because she was very pushy/clingy and basically trying for a serious relationship. For context she lives more than hour away and is a bit older/heavier than I prefer.

After giving her a few months to cool off, I hit her up on IG to come get her stuff and she came by yesterday. She called this a fire box?! I offered her a glass of wine because she was upset when she arrived and then one thing lead to another... she ended up staying the night.

She wants an exclusive relationship, but I told her that I don't think I can give this to her. Any suggestions on how to keep her as just a date or do they all reach a point where you just need to let them go?
She's supposed to have the "fire" BOX...
 
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