Failed to escalate and dodged a bullet.

[EverSure75]

I'm typing this a vent more than anything else and to thank the men of this forum for showing me the light. This story would've gone very differently had this been me two years ago.

She's 41 beautiful works out 5 days a week. Single mother of a 7 year old son. Lives with her parents. She's a Doctor. Works at clinic for the past 5 or 6 years.
I was friend zoned years ago. I cut contact for about a year. She reached out a few weeks ago. I decided to go on a date with her.
It was ok. I failed to escalate and kiss her.
Went on a second she cut it short for what sounded like she had to go home to relieve her sitter. She texted me and told me she wasn't at home but went with her girlfriend to buy some weed. She mentioned that she's been smoking more weed than she usually does and wants to cut back on her alcohol intake.

She suggested a third but the day before the date told me that she couldn't make it because she remembered it was her girlfriend's father's birthday party. Lol

I decided to cut my losses and ignore her. She texts me earlier today to tell me she and her son are travelling overseas and she and some of her friends will be going party for a few nights.

As I type this out I wonder what I was thinking trying to reconnect with her. So many red flags.

Thank you so suave.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Lmao your messing with a 41 year old Doctor who is a single mom and lives with her parents. On top of that she is a weed smoke.

This is hilarious. This is a train wreck waiting to happen.

OP is your game that bad you can't get any better? I don't mean to attack you but come on dog.

 

[EverSure75]

Lmao your messing with a 41 year old Doctor who is a single mom and lives with her parents. On top of that she is a weed smoke.

This is hilarious. This is a train wreck waiting to happen.

OP is your game that bad you can't get any better? I don't mean to attack you but come on dog.

Man. I have no explanation other than I wasn't thinking straight. I'd cut her off but when she reached out again some part of me thought I could've fk'd. The beta in me creeped back up.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Lmao your messing with a 41 year old Doctor who is a single mom and lives with her parents. On top of that she is a weed smoke.

This is hilarious. This is a train wreck waiting to happen.

OP is your game that bad you can't get any better? I don't mean to attack you but come on dog.

Yeah that's odd to me also. How much you want to bet the parents may occasionally help out with expenses too? I mean seriously...a doctor? Surely a doctor could afford even a decent 2 bedroom apartment and ask mom/dad to babysit occasionally?

Whatever....

Edit: But more to the point of OP's post, good job sir. Maybe a little late, but you eventually got it. Dont worry man, it takes practice.

 

[EverSure75]

Yeah that's odd to me also. How much you want to bet the parents may occasionally help out with expenses too? I mean seriously...a doctor? Surely a doctor could afford even a decent 2 bedroom apartment and ask mom/dad to babysit occasionally?

Whatever....

Edit: But more to the point of OP's post, good job sir. Maybe a little late, but you eventually got it. Dont worry man, it takes practice.

Yup. Lesson learnt yet again

 

[Desdinova]

It takes time and experience to really see the vast amount of trashy women out there. You start dating a particular woman and decide to give her the benefit of the doubt.

- She's in her 40s? She must be mature!
- She has kids? She must be responsible!
- She's overweight? She must have a great personality!
- She works out? She must have lots of self-respect!
- She has a good job? She must be smart!

In the end, you'll find all of this reasoning just ends up being bull****. These traits may ring true for many men, but never for women. You'll find out most of them are just as fvcked up as the next.

 

[EverSure75]

It takes time and experience to really see the vast amount of trashy women out there. You start dating a particular woman and decide to give her the benefit of the doubt.

- She's in her 40s? She must be mature!
- She has kids? She must be responsible!
- She's overweight? She must have a great personality!
- She works out? She must have lots of self-respect!
- She has a good job? She must be smart!

In the end, you'll find all of this reasoning just ends up being bull****. These traits may ring true for many men, but never for women. You'll find out most of them are just as fvcked up as the next.

So true, man. So true.

 

[CMNILS87]

You've been a member of this forum for a year and half. You've read the bible and escalation. If you're decently seasoned now, there was a specific reason you didn't go for a kiss. Something turned you off to her. If everything was clicking for you, a little kiss anxiety wouldn't stop you from being white on rice.

 

[EverSure75]

You've been a member of this forum for a year and half. You've read the bible and escalation. If you're decently seasoned now, there was a specific reason you didn't go for a kiss. Something turned you off to her. If everything was clicking for you, a little kiss anxiety wouldn't stop you from being white on rice.

Thinking about it....you're right, bro.
Are you saying on some mayne subconscious level I knew she was bad news?

 

[CMNILS87]

Thinking about it....you're right, bro.
Are you saying on some mayne subconscious level I knew she was bad news?

Gut feeling/intuition. Use it more often. If a girl is heavy partier, says she's been dumped by past boyfriends, is a daddy's girl, overweight, doesn't work out, no future plans. All of these are flags that you should be picking up.

A light bulb should be flashing saying "Bad LTR material".

 

[EverSure75]

Gut feeling/intuition. Use it more often. If a girl is heavy partier, says she's been dumped by past boyfriends, is a daddy's girl, overweight, doesn't work out, no future plans. All of these are flags that you should be picking up.

A light bulb should be flashing saying "Bad LTR material".

Indeed. Thanks.

 

[KingBeef]

OP, I don't know anything about South African women's attitude, lifestyles, norms etc. Do yourself a favor and for the love of god...JUGGLE MORE WOMEN WORTHY OF YOUR TIME ... If you're in decent looking/shape at 40 you should have no problem spinning late 20's to early 30's women.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Surely a doctor could afford even a decent 2 bedroom apartment and ask mom/dad to babysit occasionally?

Chances are she's got a fvckton of debt from medical school she's still paying off.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm typing this a vent more than anything else and to thank the men of this forum for showing me the light. This story would've gone very differently had this been me two years ago.

She's 41 beautiful works out 5 days a week. Single mother of a 7 year old son. Lives with her parents. She's a Doctor. Works at clinic for the past 5 or 6 years.
I was friend zoned years ago. I cut contact for about a year. She reached out a few weeks ago. I decided to go on a date with her.
It was ok. I failed to escalate and kiss her.
Went on a second she cut it short for what sounded like she had to go home to relieve her sitter. She texted me and told me she wasn't at home but went with her girlfriend to buy some weed. She mentioned that she's been smoking more weed than she usually does and wants to cut back on her alcohol intake.

She suggested a third but the day before the date told me that she couldn't make it because she remembered it was her girlfriend's father's birthday party. Lol

I decided to cut my losses and ignore her. She texts me earlier today to tell me she and her son are travelling overseas and she and some of her friends will be going party for a few nights.

As I type this out I wonder what I was thinking trying to reconnect with her. So many red flags.

Thank you so suave.

This is the type of woman you FVCK and use for a fvck buddy.

She's not the type you get into a relationship with.

She represents over 90% of women in today's market, they are (at best) only good for fvcking. If you are up to it, go party with her and get some pvssy if she's offering it.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Use DJ principles and you become Neo from the Matrix! Now you know in the future, escalate/bang get that dumpster dive out of the way and move on to greener pastures.

Nothing wrong with an occasional hot single mommy when plates go cold, just don't get s*cked in!

 

[EverSure75]

This is the type of woman you FVCK and use for a fvck buddy.

She's not the type you get into a relationship with.

She represents over 90% of women in today's market, they are (at best) only good for fvcking. If you are up to it, go party with her and get some pvssy if she's offering it.

Lesson learnt Bro. My standards were too low

 

[EverSure75]

Use DJ principles and you become Neo from the Matrix! Now you know in the future, escalate/bang get that dumpster dive out of the way and move on to greener pastures.

Nothing wrong with an occasional hot single mommy when plates go cold, just don't get s*cked in!

Indeed.