Failed opportunity

[Hypoxia II]

This is a first for me but it was an eye opener. I should be slapped for not responding appropiately.

I service retail stores and help stock supplies. I like my job as I meet many nice people and have a comforatable working environment.

Recently (about 4 months ago) I got several new stores to service. As I'm starting to get used to these new stores I am getting more comforatable with the people that work in them, and starting to get to know them more on a personal level and not just professional.

The people in these stores are required to help me stock merchandise so if a little hottie stands next to me and talks politely I don't see it as much. We are just doing our jobs.

One store in particular had a little hottie who would always help.. Now when I first started she always wore blue jeans, tennis shoes, had her hair pulled back, just casual work attire. I started noticing over time how she has changed from casual attire to just plain sexy. I thought maybe it was just coincidence, never gave it a second thought.

Then just this morning we were talking, just casual chit-chat. She told me her and some of her friends were going to spend the weekend in the city were I live to party and asked me if I knew of some good clubs. We talked about that for a while and she said "sounds like you party alot. What does your girlfriend think about that?". I took that as a sign of interest but I had to be carefull in how I responded. (This is still in the workplace) I told her that I am single, live alone and have all the time in the world to do as I wish. Then she hit me with "why don't you have a g/f?".
Without thinking I just blurted out "I haven't met a girl interesting enough for me in a long time." The whole time I was saying that I was thinking to myself "you stupid F**K!". She kind of laughed a little bit and continued working for about a minute or two.. Then politely excused herself and another of her co-workers came to help me finish.

What I said just came out without thinking even though I knew it was wrong. I think what I said was very insulting. What do you guys think? How could I have handled this situation differently?

I think I have no choice now but to mark this one as a learning experience and move on.. But I have been kicking myself in the ass all day for it.



All you touch and all you see
is all your life will ever be

Hypoxia II

 

[phillydude]

I don't see anything wrong with what you said. You let her know, plain and simple, that you need a woman who is worthy of your time and energy. She probably wasn't insulted... you just turned her head around because she's probably never heard that kind of talk from a man before. So SHE's the one who freaked, not you.

Next time you go in there, make it a point to talk to her again. This way you are subtly letting her know that she MIGHT be interesting enough for you to spend time with. Ask her some questions about what SHE likes to do for fun... see if she has any "interesting" hobbies or stories to tell. If she's boring as sh*t, call her on it... "Wow... that's not very interesting... I kind of thought you might be a little wilder than that." I'll bet a Twinkie that if you say that, she'll start with the "Oh I can be wild..." stories... at which point, you've got your opening: "Well let's make plans to go out and get wild sometime." Or if the stories she tells you are indeed freaky ones, then your obvious follow up is "Well I can tell I need to spend some time getting wild with you."

In any case, try not to talk about yourself too much... take the lead in asking the questions... make it about you being interested in her, not the other way around. Chicks dig it when guys are "fascinated" with them... makes them feel like they are the center of attention in your world. Hell, I've been out with women for 2-3 hours and never given out one bit of personal information about myself... what kind of work I do, what town I live in, what I like to do for fun. If they ask, change the subject back to them.

Her: "Where do you live?" Me: "Not far... do you live nearby too?"
Her: "What do you do?" Me: "I make things happen... what was your first real job?"
Her: "What do you like to do for fun?" Me: "I have lots of friends, and we do lots of things... do you go out with your friends a lot too?" And so on, and so on...

 

[disciple]

Don't take this the wrong way, but............................... Damn it man, why the hell did you say that? When you told her you hadn't met a girl interesting enough to date or something to that effect, in her mind she assumed she must not be interesting enough for you because for one thing you never made a move (assuming she is really interested in you and the signs you see are real attraction signs). I'll give you another tip: NEVER TELL A WOMAN THAT YOU ARE SINGLE AND DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!
Why, you may ask? Because a woman will start to wonder why a guy such as yourself doesn't have anybody he's been seeing. Then she'll start to think that there must be something wrong with you and if no other women want you, you must not be much of a catch. What happens? Her interest level will drop immediately. The next time a female asks you do you have a girlfriend, just say this, "Well, I have several women that I have been dating but nothing serious." This accomplishes two things:
1) It makes you look like a stud that alot of women want 2) You did mention that your not seriously involved with any of these women so she'll think that she still has a chance to snag you away from those other chicks. Remember, women love to compete with each other for attention and men. A woman loves to know that she beat out her competition for the top prize. That top prize has to be you but telling her what you told her not only alienated (and probably pissed off) the chick but it also made you sound like a loser and a Don Juan is NEVER a loser always a winner. It might be too late to salvage this situation but take it as a learning experience and use this knowledge in future encounters.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Hypoxia II
...Then she hit me with "why don't you have a g/f?".
Without thinking I just blurted out "I haven't met a girl interesting enough for me in a long time."...

you said the right thing, but you should have paused at the end and held her hand, arm, or something and smiled and added "until now"

now she wouldn't know if you were serious or joking, but the door would still be open

 

[Hypoxia II]

disciple,
those are my thoughts exactly.. i knew as soon as i started speaking i was trashing this opportunity but for some reason it was flowing and i couldnt stop it.


Crank_It_Up,
Excellent advice, however, this is someone who is considered a co-worker in a sense. That approach could be taken offensive by her and result in some serious reprimand. That may look like an excuse but I do have to be carefull. I will try that anywhere but at work though.. great avice

Thanks guys.. I do appreciate your responses