Failed kiss close. Move on or keep at it. Advice please.

[shizz702]

Ok fellas, long story short, went out with this chick today on a cool action date at an indoor gun range and went and grabbed a bite and drink afterward. Everything was great, conversation, kino, hand holding. This was our 3rd time seeing each other, last time closed with just a peck so I figured a real kiss close was in order.

After walking her to her car she moved in and gave me a peck and pulled back, I pulled her back in lightly and went for it but she only let me peck her twice and kind turned away.

About 2 mins later she called and I missed it, tried calling back and she didn't answer.

Then she texted me "I just wanted to say I didn't mean to act weird when you kissed me. I just got nervous."

I then repsponded with "Yea so I guess next time you will be more prepared eh?"

She responded "Totally."

Then she said "I'm very glad I met you, and can't wait to be around you more."

I then cut it off and said in Spanish (she's half mexican half spaniard) "Tuve mucho divertido contigo, que tengas una buena noche, y hasta pronto."

She loves when I speak Spanish to her since I'm white and speak it.

Then she said "Awwww mwwaaahhhh."


Ok so anyways guys, I like this chick, far from oneitis but she is good quality, very attractive, good job, seemingly well rounded, but I'll be honest this is the first time I failed a kiss close, and normally if I ain't getting that by the 3rd round I move on.

But I am thinking she kinda redeemed herself at least by fessing up about it.

Opinions and or advice would be appreciated.

Should I get distant from here and let her start initiating all contact? At this point I certainly don't want to give her too much attention, and let her come to me and show me something.

 

[Masculinity]

"Tuve mucho divertido contigo, que tengas una buena noche, y hasta pronto." was supposed to be "]"Me diverti mucho contigo. Buenas noches y hasta pronto" That was pretty good, though. Just work on the details.

Should I get distant from here and let her start initiating all contact? At this point I certainly don't want to give her too much attention, and let her come to me and show me something.

You are overthinking and worrying too much. She's being receptive to your moves and you don't want to give her attention? Reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. She practically implied she would kiss you in the future. How is that not good behavior? I'm not saying go overboard, but have some acuity.

PS: don't text too much.

 

[shizz702]

You are overthinking and worrying too much. She's being receptive to your moves and you don't want to give her attention? Reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. She practically implied she would kiss you in the future. How is that not good behavior? I'm not saying go overboard, but have some acuity.

PS: don't text too much.

Thanks for the input, appreciated.

That's the thing, I was trying to distinguish this as good or bad behavior. On one hand I thought rejecting the kiss was lame cause I figured it was time, but on the other I'm placing myself in her shoes now (she claims she has been single now for over 2 years, and was in a a 5 year ltr that ended very hostiley) and I guess I can see her being nervous.

Other than this her actions speak well for her with me.

You're right, I suppose I will just continue on.

Gracias por la leccione de gramatica tambien!

 

[Masculinity]

Thanks for the input, appreciated.

That's the thing, I was trying to distinguish this as good or bad behavior. On one hand I thought rejecting the kiss was lame cause I figured it was time, but on the other I'm placing myself in her shoes now (she claims she has been single now for over 2 years, and was in a a 5 year ltr that ended very hostiley) and I guess I can see her being nervous.

Other than this her actions speak well for her with me.

You're right, I suppose I will just continue on.

Gracias por la leccione de gramatica tambien!

You got it, bro. Keep in mind that not all girls kiss on the first date. And from my experience, Latinas are more traditional than white women and it may take you longer to get the girl, but once you do you have potential for much more. Come back and share what happens when you see her again!

 

[shizz702]

Gracias otra vez.

And you are definitely right, my ex ltr was from Mexico, and it definitely took a lot of work to get her to open up to her sensitive side (didn't kiss til the 3rd date, and things didn't really start to flourish til the 4th or 5th), but once she did she was die hard loyal to me. So you bring up another good point here.

I'm sure it will be gravy next time around, will just brush it off as if nothing happened and keep things cool and fun like always. I'm seeing other chicks right now, but eventually want to settle down, now that I think about it this displays behavior worthy of a keeper I suppose?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think she redeemed herself.

Remember that she does not fall in love with you while you are with her. She talks herself into falling in love with you after the meeting, when she is alone. That time spent apart is like an investment that grows as we sleep.

 

[Masculinity]

will just brush it off as if nothing happened and keep things cool and fun like always.

Good, in reality nothing happened; it is just the way you interpret/perceive things. It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you think you will succeed, you

will behave accordingly and probably succeed. If you think things will go downhill...catch my drift?

I'm seeing other chicks right now, but eventually want to settle down, now that I think about it this displays behavior worthy of a keeper I suppose?

No, no, no...you are over-thinking again. :kick: You have only gone out once with this girl and you're already thinking she could be your girlfriend?

You do not know her, man. She could turn out to be a psycho or your girlfriend in the future; give her the benefit of the doubt. However you will not know

until time goes by and you make your moves. How old are you?

 

[backbreaker]

I think she redeemed herself.

Remember that she does not fall in love with you while you are with her. She talks herself into falling in love with you after the meeting, when she is alone. That time spent apart is like an investment that grows as we sleep.

fvcking money atom smasher, fvcking money



think of dating women, like working out. In fact it's exactly like working out


AFC's, are guys who go to the gym, and spend 3 hours a day in the gym, 6 days a week, trying to hurry up and get big.

A true DJ, knows you don't get big in the gym, you break the muscles down when are in the gym, and you get bigger by eating and resting.

eating and resting, are the things you do in between the time you see the woman.

think of calling a woman, or texting the woman, like cheating on your diet. You might, hell you will get away with it every once in a while but if you work ought right, only to head to mc donalds everyday after you leave the gym, you aren't going to get anywhere.

rest is the time in which you don't' make any contact with her. you can only grow while you rest. you HAVE to rest to grow. there is no way around it. this is a concept the AFC will ever comprehend. he texts 10 times a day, he calls 2-3 times a day, he gets worried when she doesn't talk to him for a day or two.

i know this has very little tod o with the OP, but it just all came together in my head and wanted to type this out.

 

[shizz702]

Good, in reality nothing happened; it is just the way you interpret/perceive things. It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you think you will succeed, you

will behave accordingly and probably succeed. If you think things will go downhill...catch my drift?





No, no, no...you are over-thinking again. :kick: You have only gone out once with this girl and you're already thinking she could be your girlfriend?

You do not know her, man. She could turn out to be a psycho or your girlfriend in the future; give her the benefit of the doubt. However you will not know

until time goes by and you make your moves. How old are you?

lol nan man not thinking about it like that at all, you misunderstood me! What I meant by possible qualities of a keeper is since she seems to more traditional and taking things slower, did not mean that I'm thinking of making her my girl. Got a long way to go if that's gonna happen.

Also, this is my 3rd time seeing her, which is why there was concern about the failed kiss close anyway.

But I understand where you are coming from. Like I said far from oneitis here, and I'm seeing other girls, hell going out with one tonight. I just came out of a ltr 6 months ago that ended pretty bad so believe me it's gonna have to be one hell of a woman for me to settle, but I am looking to do so in the future. I'm 25.

 

[shizz702]

fvcking money atom smasher, fvcking money



think of dating women, like working out. In fact it's exactly like working out


AFC's, are guys who go to the gym, and spend 3 hours a day in the gym, 6 days a week, trying to hurry up and get big.

A true DJ, knows you don't get big in the gym, you break the muscles down when are in the gym, and you get bigger by eating and resting.

eating and resting, are the things you do in between the time you see the woman.

think of calling a woman, or texting the woman, like cheating on your diet. You might, hell you will get away with it every once in a while but if you work ought right, only to head to mc donalds everyday after you leave the gym, you aren't going to get anywhere.

rest is the time in which you don't' make any contact with her. you can only grow while you rest. you HAVE to rest to grow. there is no way around it. this is a concept the AFC will ever comprehend. he texts 10 times a day, he calls 2-3 times a day, he gets worried when she doesn't talk to him for a day or two.

i know this has very little tod o with the OP, but it just all came together in my head and wanted to type this out.

Solid analogy using the gym as an illustration and all.

 

[pdx1138]

fvcking money atom smasher, fvcking money



think of dating women, like working out. In fact it's exactly like working out


AFC's, are guys who go to the gym, and spend 3 hours a day in the gym, 6 days a week, trying to hurry up and get big.

A true DJ, knows you don't get big in the gym, you break the muscles down when are in the gym, and you get bigger by eating and resting.

eating and resting, are the things you do in between the time you see the woman.

think of calling a woman, or texting the woman, like cheating on your diet. You might, hell you will get away with it every once in a while but if you work ought right, only to head to mc donalds everyday after you leave the gym, you aren't going to get anywhere.

rest is the time in which you don't' make any contact with her. you can only grow while you rest. you HAVE to rest to grow. there is no way around it. this is a concept the AFC will ever comprehend. he texts 10 times a day, he calls 2-3 times a day, he gets worried when she doesn't talk to him for a day or two.

i know this has very little tod o with the OP, but it just all came together in my head and wanted to type this out.

THATS GOLD! PURE GOLD!

 

[PokerStar]

Mr. BB,

your analogy is pretty cool. never looked at it like that.

awesome bro. awesome.

 

[Masculinity]

lol nan man not thinking about it like that at all, you misunderstood me! What I meant by possible qualities of a keeper is since she seems to more traditional and taking things slower, did not mean that I'm thinking of making her my girl. Got a long way to go if that's gonna happen.

Also, this is my 3rd time seeing her, which is why there was concern about the failed kiss close anyway.

But I understand where you are coming from. Like I said far from oneitis here, and I'm seeing other girls, hell going out with one tonight. I just came out of a ltr 6 months ago that ended pretty bad so believe me it's gonna have to be one hell of a woman for me to settle, but I am looking to do so in the future. I'm 25.

Good work on getting yourself out there after having terminated a recent LTR. I hear you. Although they may not admit it, most men on this sight ultimately want a great woman with whom to have a LTR.

Any updates on your situation with miss Latina yet? I want to hear success stories!

 

[shizz702]

Good work on getting yourself out there after having terminated a recent LTR. I hear you. Although they may not admit it, most men on this sight ultimately want a great woman with whom to have a LTR.

Any updates on your situation with miss Latina yet? I want to hear success stories!

Right on brotha, and as much I as love to have multiple women, I personally am the type that likes to have a good, down one by my side. But I see others as a means of having options because we all know things can go south real quick and if and when you settle you got to make sure she is fully qualified.

No real updates yet on her yet but I will be seeing her again soon, a few phone chats and texts thus far, and it is worth noting she always initiates the contact. I'm currently seeing another one that went out with last night to an exhibition. I went out with a Honduran chick a couple times, and she would have been a quick easy lay since by the second meet up we were all but doing the do, but I cut her off cause I just wasn't feeling it. I'm not into bedding ones I ain't feeling it with and am just at the point where I don't want to hurt anyone. Especially after having come out of a ltr that ended very painfully.

With the one regarding this post her and I have plans to go ice skating next week, and the other one I just mentioned am going to take hiking. I also have a Cubana that I'm goign to go to an amusement park with.

Lol me gusta las latinas!

 

[shizz702]

Update with her.

Ok so get a text from her this morning saying she needs a huge favor.

She eneded up getting herself in a jam, some dumb drama over her friends birthday, and long story short she needed a ride to a hotel and had forgotten where she parked her car (yea, I know, lol).

So fortunately for me she lives close by, and the timing was convenient for me so I said f it and went and picked her up.

Busted and teased her over it and lots of hand holding and hugging when we were there at the hotel waiting for security to find the car in the parking garage.

So it is worth noting she sh!t tested me too, while we were chilling by the information desk, some peeps we got to chatting with asked if we were interested in some tickets to a show and asked if we were married. She repsonded no, and they were like well boyfriend/gf? And she dropped the friend bomb!!!!!!!!!!!! Was like well we are friends and the dude looked at me smuggly and was like yea that's what they call it right?

I just laughed, and she said well we are dating.

So afterward when it was time to go, I grabbed her hand and was like so what now friend?! lol

Then she brought it back up at dinner afterward, and I said look, just making myself clear, I got friends, and I am not interested in being friends, just letting you know so you know my intentions, let's not overthink this and just keep doing like we are doing. That ended that, and things went on smoothly and we had a great time. One other sh1t test came up, she is a fb/iphone addict like most chicks these days, and I caught her checking her fb, and I called her out and told her look when you are with me it is our time, put the phone away. She obliged and acknowledged it was a rude thing to do.

So anyways, she paid for dinner and drinks, and when I took her back to her car went in for the close. She tried to resist again, and I called her out said, nah come here, you told me you were gonna be more prepared next time.

She was still resistant but went through with it. Didn't feel too good about it as I have had much more passionate first kisses, but then 10 mins later I got a text saying:

"Thanks for everything, really means a lot to me. You are such a good kisser, sorry I still just get so nervous around you. Good night sexy boi Btw, maybe you should kiss me many more times next time you are with me!"

Meh, I guess that works for me. Will be expecting at least a make out sesh next time.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Moral of the story:

Don't be cliche and wait until the end of the night to kiss her dude! This creates anxiety for her, nervous energy because she's expecting it. Get it out of the way early; then focus on just having fun.


Don't follow such text book rules.







PIMP

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Well from the first post here, it seemed as though she was just nervous and maybe a bit intimidated around you.. Which would be great.

But after this update, it seems that she might be using you. Don't over think it though, just hope for the best and expect the worst. It's still kind of unclear.. The "boyfriend/girlfriend" label can be intimidating to some people. Usually in those situations I like to say "Actually we're an old bitter married couple!" joking around or some other wise ass humor like that.

It's good that you put your foot down with the cellphone bullsh1t. I hate that too! (I'm sure we all do lol). You demonstrated your dominance over the interaction between her and you.

I'd say just keep doing what you two are doing and see how it pans out. Just have fun with her and don't sweat the small stuff. Being called "friends" is just a word. If you don't let it get to you, then it doesn't mean anything. I've hooked up with two girls in back to back weekends who I had been "best friends" with for 7 and 8 years last summer.

 

[shizz702]

Moral of the story:

Don't be cliche and wait until the end of the night to kiss her dude! This creates anxiety for her, nervous energy because she's expecting it. Get it out of the way early; then focus on just having fun.


Don't follow such text book rules.







PIMP

Well deserved criticism there as this is something I just seem to have imbedded in me unless I feel really good chemistry and know she wants it.

 

[shizz702]

Well from the first post here, it seemed as though she was just nervous and maybe a bit intimidated around you.. Which would be great.

But after this update, it seems that she might be using you. Don't over think it though, just hope for the best and expect the worst. It's still kind of unclear.. The "boyfriend/girlfriend" label can be intimidating to some people. Usually in those situations I like to say "Actually we're an old bitter married couple!" joking around or some other wise ass humor like that.

It's good that you put your foot down with the cellphone bullsh1t. I hate that too! (I'm sure we all do lol). You demonstrated your dominance over the interaction between her and you.

I'd say just keep doing what you two are doing and see how it pans out. Just have fun with her and don't sweat the small stuff. Being called "friends" is just a word. If you don't let it get to you, then it doesn't mean anything. I've hooked up with two girls in back to back weekends who I had been "best friends" with for 7 and 8 years last summer.

You're right, it still is unclear. I will have to gauge things more after our next meet up. If things heat up great, but if she keeps dragging this bs I don't know how much longer I will stand for it. Lol I've never had a chick take things this slow before.

That is pretty much the plan, and that's what I told her, let's just keep having fun together and see where it goes. The one good thing I can say about her is we always have a blast when we are together, she just gets awkward when the physicality comes in, but I'm confident I will work her on that and once that is out of the way things will be smooth sailing.

I may have came off harsh bout the friend bomb but the friend label is just something I avoid at all costs. But you present an interesting way of looking at it, and I like your line for that one, gonna have to remember that.