Facebook Social Proof

[Fumbduck]

Facebook is a big part of how we now interact with one another. Like it or not, it's here to stay.

Regarding social proof on facebook, (girls "liking" your status updates, "commenting" on your photos, writing on your wall, etc, etc)

I update facebook infrequently, however when I do it's usually something interesting, funny, or cool. Girls like and comment on my stuff. Obviously this is a good thing, because people browsing my page will see that others have validated what I have said. BUT can this be a bad thing? Could you get too much attention from girls on facebook?

I have a few girls I want to pursue who i'm facebook friends with. I know they are seeing these posts that have been "commented and liked". In a girls mind, when she sees a guy of value's facebook being liked by other girls, do they see him as a PLAYER, or do they see this as SOCIAL PROOF and want the guy even more because of the other female attention?

Interested in hearing your responses!

 

[mahoney]

Depends what the other girls write (and more importantly what their profile pics look like, regular or attention-*****ish) but in general its almost never a bad thing

Its best to have plenty of comments etc from both sexes on there, of all differing kinds

 

[PDubb75]

To be honest. I don't know. But bear with me. I have a reason for posting on here haha.

There is a ton of talk on this site about how horrible Facebook is. I have always been one of the people defending Facebook, as long as it isn't used as a crutch, a distraction, etc. The guys who have an issue with Facebook have a very valid point, in that they feel it provides these girls with too much information about you, and makes you less "mysterious". For that reason, I can see how this "social proof" can possibly be an issue.

I honestly don't know if it can help or hurt, and for that reason I don't add girls I'm trying to hook up with. There are a couple (one in particular) that I am already friends with on Facebook because of past relationships/friendships before I put my "rule" in place.

With that being said, I think it's better to have these girls see a lot of people commenting on your stuff. If anything, it may make you linger around in her thoughts a little longer if she actually reads the comments, instead of just scrolling past it.

And with THAT being said (and with a huge emphasis on this next part), I think the best approach is to not have your outcome with a girl have any ties to Facebook. Spend time with them in person so that anything on Facebook is just background. I agree with the line of thinking that Facebook is horrible for "gaming". It can hurt you more than it can help.

 

[LoneWolf]

i think it all depends how often you use it and what you do on it. i probably shouldn't of but i added the girl im seeing now on facebook right at the start of everything. because i met her on a dating website, i gave her my facebook to add me because it was hard to stay in contact with her. we actually don't even use facebook to keep in contact at all. i don't do status updates at all really. maybe once in a blue moon. my wall is usually just events i attend to or people inviting me to events, posting on my wall, tagging me in photos. not too much. i see some guys who are on facebook all day, writing status comments every 10 minutes. now that's bad.. no mysterious guy there.

but yeah i would agree with not adding girls you are interested in... probably AFTER you hook up would be okay. but i guess i got lucky, didn't damage my chances.

 

[mahoney]

its ok to add them before you hook up, just add when it seems a natural to do so. most of the time this is quite obvious if you don't overthink it

agree about status comments but only to an extent. its not the frequency of the updates that makes them boring (well ok there is a limit) - its the content of the updates that makes them boring

rarely doing updates doesn't make you look mysterious btw, it just doesn't really convey anything. If you want to know what an interesting persons profile looks like...look at the girl you likes profile, see who she comments on a lot, go look at their profile

or not even that, who's profile do you leave comments on? (this doesn't include girls you are trying to get with) Their profile is interesting - at least comparatively

 

[Connor99]

Girls can check out your facebook page in 5 minutes and maybe decide if they like you or not rather actually trying to get to know you.

they can see your previous girlfriends and all of your other friends without you even introducing them...they can even find out where you work..went to school, vacation pictures etc...what is left to find out ? what surprises ?

its common knowledge chicks dig mystery

 

[Connor99]

Facebook in general is a joke and it's girly

writing "LOL great party last night" on some guys wall won't impress any girls ...it just makes you look like a douchebag...thats really all facebook does

Girls are different...they can get away with yacking all day on facebook or msn...thats what makes them girls

 

[Fumbduck]

The point of this thread is not a "facebook bash". I don't care what you think, say, or do on your own facebook; like it or not, it's the way many people (especially women) communicate these days.

Yes if you post stupid LOL's, winks, and lame status updates it will kill your mystery. My original question is for people who have successfully designed their facebook profiles to give the viewer only a glimpse of their awesome lives. For people who rarely update things, post interesting pictures, and receive many female comments.

Also, I am not interested in "how to set up a profile so chicks you've never met will be attracted to you." Again, this question assumes that you have originally met the girl, exchanged numbers, and in talking/texting you also exchanged facebook information... (I've seen too many "texting is for girls" threads, so let's not get into that debate).

AND FINALLY, I assume you're smart enough to NOT post pictures of your exes, ugly friends, and lame ass vacations. I assume the limited information you have posted leaves the viewer "wanting to learn more" about the amazing man on the computer screen in front of her.

Facebook can be a good tool if used properly, so back to the original question...IF you set up your facebook CORRECTLY, maintaining your mystery and action lifestyle; when girls comment/like your stuff...how do other girls view this. If I see a girl with a lot of male attention...I get curious myself what all the fuss is about.

 

[EvilAgenda]

People have too much sh*t going on in their own lives to give a sh*t about yours. Unless you show interest first, you will keep on guessing.

If you want to ask, go to the source, ask your facebook girl friends what they think.

 

[IamJosan]

No matter what girls say about players, they WANT guys that have other girls. I've had experience with this.

As I walk down the halls of school with some of my girl friends, I see other girls who will stare at me, simply because I'm walking and talking with another girl.

The player thing is good, just don't be so forward with girls that think this about you because then it sets off their defenses.

 

[LoneWolf]

i don't use facebook much. i don't even post photos much .. i'd say i'm pretty mysterious on there to most girls. i make a funny status or something interesting once in a blue moon and girls and guys comment on it and like it. like last night, girl im seeing liked it so it can't be too bad. she text me the next day so she must be thinking of me. i've noticed almost everyone on facebook has hundreds of photos tagged of themselves when they are out partying etc. so basically you can see what lifestyle they live just by all those photos. it's usually just party photos, clubbing, or trips they've gone too. but this is what facebook is for. i dont think it matters when it's your girlfriend on facebook though cause you've obviously already won her over.

but for me, i don't really have much going on my profile apart from when girls post on my wall and comment on my status. i dont have many great photos because i only joined up last year. maybe like 5 pictures of me with other girls, the rest just random things.

 

[Packers2010]

i don't think facebook gives too much away. i also thing that if you wanted a girl and you added her TO facebook. i think you could have some fun with it.

you can do more WITH the person then you can OVER facebook