Facebook linked to divorce rates, study shows

[Veridin]

People are simple creatures, easily tempted: the more exposure to flirting, the more cheating and changing of partners will there be. Even when you would have been content with how things were in your life otherwise, and could have patched up anything lacking in your marriage.

And when you see a spouse flirting with someone over Facebook, your romantic feelings will turn to ice.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technolo...acebook-fuelling-divorce-research-claims.html

The social networking site, which connects old friends and allows users to make new ones online, is being blamed for an increasing number of marital breakdowns.
Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the popularity of websites such as Facebook and Bebo is tempting people to cheat on their partners.
Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce.

One law firm, which specialises in divorce, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook.

Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online said: "I had heard from my staff that there were a lot of people saying they had found out things about their partners on Facebook and I decided to see how prevalent it was. I was really surprised to see 20 percent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook.
"The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to."
Flirty emails and messages found on Facebook pages are increasingly being cited as evidence of unreasonable behaviour.

Last year a 28-year-old woman ended her marriage after discovering her husband had been having a virtual affair with someone in cyberspace he had never met.

Amy Taylor 28, split from David Pollard after discovering he was sleeping with an escort in the game Second Life, a virtual world where people reinvent themselves.

Around 14 million Britons are believed to regularly use social networking sites to communicate with old friends or make new ones.

The popularity of the Friends Reunited website several years ago was also blamed for a surge in divorces as bored husbands and wives used it to contact old flames and first loves.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/06/02/survey-shows-facebook-driving-divorce-rate/

"More and more I have clients coming in and I say, 'Why are you here today?' And they say, 'Facebook,'" divorce attorney Mary Cay Trace told MyFoxPhilly.com. "You can now search beyond your neighbors and your co-workers if you're trying to find somebody to replace what you think is missing in your marriage."

One woman showed MyFoxPhilly.com love notes that her husband sent an old flame from grade school that he reconnected with on Facebook.

Their 13-year marriage ended after that, and her husband's new flame also filed for divorce from her marriage.

The families had two children each.

http://newsfamilylaw.wordpress.com/2011/03/01/facebook-linked-to-rising-divorce-rates/

According to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), social networking site Facebook is cited in 1 of every 5 U.S. divorces. And the country’s top divorce attorneys further claim use of social networking evidence in divorce has climbed even higher during the past five years. Of the various social networking sites out there, Facebook is cited as the primary source of evidence 66 percent of the time.
.....
Although most marriage woes begin outside of social networking, licensed clinical psychologist Steven Kimmons, PhD, of Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Illinois, says is can begin there, too.

She said, “We’re coming across it more and more. One spouse connects online with someone they knew from high school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook. Within a short amount of time, the sharing of personal stories can lead to a deepened sense of intimacy, which in turn can point the couple in the direction of physical contact. I don’t think these people typically set out to have affairs. A lot of it is curiosity. They see an old friend or someone they dated and decide to say ‘hello’ and catch up on where that person is and how they’re doing.”

 

[squirrels]

That's like saying ice cream scoops are responsible for fat people.

Stop hating on FaceBook and just learn to use it without being an attention-wh0re. If your girl is going to cheat on you, she's going to do it whether she has a FB account or not.

 

[PDubb75]

My brain hurts...

Why is every other thread here about Facebook being so evil? As I've said in another post, the b!tching about Facebook on this site is so much worse than Facebook itself. We get it... you guys don't like it.

 

[backbreaker]

That's like saying ice cream scoops are responsible for fat people.

Stop hating on FaceBook and just learn to use it without being an attention-wh0re. If your girl is going to cheat on you, she's going to do it whether she has a FB account or not.

facebook is like BASF. It doesn't make cheating, it makes cheating more efficient.

 

[squirrels]

facebook is like BASF. It doesn't make cheating, it makes cheating more efficient.

It makes EVERYTHING more efficient. Intent is up to the user.

 

[Veridin]

If your girl is going to cheat on you, she's going to do it whether she has a FB account or not.

...And the fact remains that a lot of people who wouldn't go out of their way to cheat, will do so if temptation is right there before them. And a lot of people who would otherwise have stayed and worked things out, will leave if greener grass somewhere else is more readily available. (As the examples show.)

Personally I think Facebook caters far too much to the ego.

My brain hurts...

Why is every other thread here about Facebook being so evil?

I haven't seen "every other thread," but that indicates a lot of people see the same thing. Are they wrong about their Facebook observations, but you are not? Even divorce lawyers say they see many people breaking up because one spouse got tempted through a contact that otherwise wouldn't have been possible - is it bad to quote them? What I see is men weaseling their way into women's presence through this tool, and the women letting them because women love attention. Don't see what's wrong with pointing that out.

It's not wrong to call attention to a problem, which can help someone down the road. Men need to check up on what their women are doing online. And a more general reaction toward too much internet use can't hurt either. What are people doing, having a social life through the internet anyway. Sending a few emails to coordinate when to meet, things like that, is okay; using Facebook as a second life is not.

 

[squirrels]

...And the fact remains that a lot of people who wouldn't go out of their way to cheat, will do so if temptation is right there before them. And a lot of people who would otherwise have stayed and worked things out, will leave if greener grass somewhere else is more readily available. (As the examples show.)

Personally I think Facebook caters far too much to the ego.


I haven't seen "every other thread," but that indicates a lot of people see the same thing. Are they wrong about their Facebook observations, but you are not? Even divorce lawyers say they see many people breaking up because one spouse got tempted through a contact that otherwise wouldn't have been possible - is it bad to quote them? What I see is men weaseling their way into women's presence through this tool, and the women letting them because women love attention. Don't see what's wrong with pointing that out.

It's not wrong to call attention to a problem, which can help someone down the road. Men need to check up on what their women are doing online. And a more general reaction toward too much internet use can't hurt either. What are people doing, having a social life through the internet anyway. Sending a few emails to coordinate when to meet, things like that, is okay; using Facebook as a second life is not.

It blows MY mind that it's OK for a girl to desperately want to sleep around and mess with other guys, as long as she doesn't act on it. WHY is the action what's important? Why do guys want to force girls into commitments when the girls don't WANT to be committed, then cut off their social networks so they won't be "tempted"?

If you were living with a woman who wanted to see you dead, would it be "OK" as long as you kept her away from guns and sharp implements so she didn't act on it??

The problem isn't Facebook. The problem is people in this world who have such low self-esteem that they're desperate to prove their worth by "holding down" an "exclusive" steady boyfriend/girlfriend. Even if that other does not WANT that kind of exclusivity.

Cheating is prevalent in today's society because the people who are cheating are in "relationships" they really dont' want to be in in the first place.

 

[PDubb75]

It isn't so much about right and wrong. I'm not discounting the findings there. But in my own experience, Facebook has been extremely helpful. It is all about how you use it.

squirrels is exactly right. You can look at these findings from a completely different perspective. Obviously the people in these marriages had curiosities they had yet to act on. But they wanted to. How great of a relationship could it REALLY have been if a website brought out all of these issues? It's obvious they weren't happy enough to begin with.

There is nothing to say this cheating wouldn't be occurring without Facebook. Their intentions are there. Sure, Facebook makes it easier, but it also makes it easier to catch.

If your wife is cheating on you, is it any better to be oblivious to it for years than it is to find out pretty quickly through Facebook?

 

[user43770]

I deleted my Facebook a little over a year ago. All it did for me was lead to feelings of jealousy and vanity. I knew way too much about people that I normally wouldn't give a sh1t about. That's just me. Your results may be different.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I don't have a facebook. If I want to talk tosomeone I will just get there number. Not look through facebook. Facebook is just a time eater. Time is money. In my free time I do things that are productive not waste my time. If I see a girl I like I talk to her on the spot. I don't have anxiety and then look her up on facebook later.

Facebook is just an ego booster for people. I don't need that ego boost and I certainly will not be boostin anybody elses ego for that matter.

 

[Colossus]

Correlation does not always equal causation.

 

[Veridin]

It blows MY mind that it's OK for a girl to desperately want to sleep around and mess with other guys, as long as she doesn't act on it. WHY is the action what's important? Why do guys want to force girls into commitments when the girls don't WANT to be committed, then cut off their social networks so they won't be "tempted"?

If you were living with a woman who wanted to see you dead, would it be "OK" as long as you kept her away from guns and sharp implements so she didn't act on it??

The problem isn't Facebook. The problem is people in this world who have such low self-esteem that they're desperate to prove their worth by "holding down" an "exclusive" steady boyfriend/girlfriend. Even if that other does not WANT that kind of exclusivity.

Cheating is prevalent in today's society because the people who are cheating are in "relationships" they really dont' want to be in in the first place.

I understand what you mean, but the truth about people is, we are weak beings. And everyone feels desires they may not want to feel. Most of the time they don't act on it. But if opportunity is served on a platter, then more will.

Cheating. Everyone will feel the desire to cheat, even when in a good marriage. It isn't bad in itself, it is a natural desire. But when it becomes easier ... then more will do it.

And then you have what one of the stories above says: women pouring their hearts out to a guy from high school they met again through Facebook, then feeling "We are so close! You know my soul better than my husband!" and then the guy has her. Next up, bedtime.

A comparison. People desire pleasure and escape. People are weak. If drugs could not be found in their country, they wouldn't say "Man, I wish I could do drugs right now." Maybe they'd start eating lots of candy instead, which is also bad but not nearly as bad. But when they grow up with drugs all around them - more will start doing drugs. Suppose you had access to drugs at all times, through some device in your home. When your life feels duller than normal and you have argued with your spouse ... it's there. Such an easy thing. Isn't it more than likely there would be more junkies this way?


Now, people might say, "So what, you can't do anything about it, Facebook will still exist." Well of course. But all the time, we point out many facts that can't be changed. Awareness can help you handle things down the road. And learning pieces of information has its own value - I don't see why posting the stories in the OP should generate animosity, guys! When I play Trivial Pursuit, things I learn there that I can't change don't make me pissed off. You incorporate it in your view of the world and become a little bit wiser.

 

[Social Media Couple]

Thanks for the focus on Facebook’s impact on marriages. We noticed you used the “1 in 5 divorces involve Facebook” stat. The “stats” around this issue have gotten so loose and messy that we investigated the 14-month history of this stat and put the findings on our blog, Techlationships.com. We encourage you to read “Debunking the 1-in-5 Divorces Linked to Facebook Stat” at http://bit.ly/1in5FB and maybe do a story on it.

BTW, 2 days after our blog post, the Wall Street Journal did an article on it as well validating our findings.

Let us know if you have any questions! K Jason and Kelli Krafsky (The Social Media Couple/Co-Authors of "Facebook and Your Marriage")

 

[exbrit]

divorce

The dicorce rate is already around 50% so how much worse can it get?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Correlation does not always equal causation.

Exactly. It could be the opposite. "Chicks who want a divorce (or a fresh ****) cruise Facebook more often."