facebook date cancelled to go out with another friend.. it's over before it's started

[drift king]

if i made an arrangement on the phone today with a facebook girl to meet tonight for a drink.. she confirmed the time it was on.

then she calls me now to tell me she cant make it.. surprise surprise and shes going to see another friend.. i feel disrespected. she offered me another time.. kinda.. saying monday's good and lets talk then to arrange time. i hate these girls who dont commit to definite times.

im not good on the phone so i sound nervous and cant think on my feet and panic, should i take it to heart her flake today?

cos to me it's like.. she made a commitment to meet me tonight.. then cos she has friends who are going out somewhere cos it's friday night. she blows me off..

im still a stranger at the end of the day but i cant help but think her IL level has dropped cos she rather go out with her friends than me.

i f'd up by not getting a firm time there and then, so i called straight back to say can she give me a def time cos otherwise i'll make other plans. i think it's over before it's even started. she leaves the country for xmas next thursday so if i flake on her i dont see this working out.

 

[2.0]

First off, don't take it personally. Some people are just "flakers." It's in their personality and has nothing to do with you!

Second, I wouldn't bother pursuing it. That's not a personality trait that I find attractive.

 

[drift king]

u have to bear in mind it's a facebook meet up so it's a complete stranger.. and in my experience after 1 flake it doesn't go well.. they expect you to be understanding cos we haven't met each other before.. but i didn't know what to say.. i knew she was flaking when she called me and i saw the miss call.

i didn't know what to do cos if i left it she'd just text me to cancel. i knew she was gona cancel.. i just didn't know what to say.. cos at end of the day she told me yesterday that if she didn't take that job tonight we'd definitely meet.. somehow it's come as now her friends have offered her to go out and she'd rather do that than meet me.. frustrating but its over. also too keen cos i talked about how she's leaving the country next week.

im not impressed.

in these scenarios what do u say when she goes 'listen.. im going to have to cancel tonight.. im going to see my other friends.'

my 1st question was 'when u leaving?' rather than.. 'huh.. u confirmed our meeting earlier saying that if u weren't working we'd definitely meet tonight..' would that have just been too afc if i said that?

i mean if she wants to cancel.. then u have to let her?

i feel somewhat used like i let her get away with something now.. and her IL must have dropped cos im not good on the phone.. i dont know what to say to keep it light.. im much better in person or in writing.. and u can tell in her voice she's losing interest fast. frustrating as it is, i'll have to accept that when i call on monday she'll just cancel again more than likely.

 

[drift king]

am i missing the fundamental point in that if i had created more IL on the phone today while confirming the date tonight then she wouldn't have blew me off to go out with her friends?

now it seems like she feels committed and cant say no so is tryna squeeze it in to her schedule. i feel like im losing value so quickly.

she sounded so excited when i called today, i chit chatted asking her how her night was.. then she said she was about to go underground on the train and said for me to call her back in 20 mins.. i thought 'no way.. im not calling u again to supplicate you' and said 'it's cool i was just confirming for tonight.. so we went into it' got it confirmed. now she's flaking. i feel angry. very angry. but i keep repeating these same probs cos i cant hold my nerve on the phone.

do i need to throw in a bit more rapport to make her want to blow her friends off to see me? grr.. i put so much work into getting this one. now i cant see it happening. no other options right now either.

 

[drift king]

i originally framed our meeting that i could only stay 2 hours max but i forgot to bring that up earlier when she cancelled.. is it just too desperate if i had said 'well we're only meeting up for an hour max cos i got somewhere to go at 10pm so can u do that?' if she said no then i could have suggested the arrangement for monday.. i f'd up cos i should have let her counteroffer before i did.. i went straight into 'im busy tomorrow but no plans sunday..' just before she was about to counter..

now im p1ssed cos she told me that she was leaving at the time i called cos i originally asked 'when u going' she's lying cos she's on facebook now. grrr.. it seems pointless even agreeing an alternative time cos the amount of times i've been flaked on once that another time doesn't mean sh1t.. i'll call monday and she won't pick up or just cancel again.. i can't do sh1t cos she's a FB chick who i haven't met.. it's so frustrating when u have no options or plates..

 

[hover411]

question- are you building rapport with these girls before setting up dates?

it seems like they are not totally excited or not comfortable enough to make it to the date.

if that's the case, you gotta spark some attraction before setting up a meeting.

 

[DonJuan11]

if i made an arrangement on the phone today with a facebook girl to meet tonight for a drink.. she confirmed the time it was on.

then she calls me now to tell me she cant make it.. surprise surprise and shes going to see another friend.. i feel disrespected. she offered me another time.. kinda.. saying monday's good and lets talk then to arrange time. i hate these girls who dont commit to definite times.

im not good on the phone so i sound nervous and cant think on my feet and panic, should i take it to heart her flake today?

cos to me it's like.. she made a commitment to meet me tonight.. then cos she has friends who are going out somewhere cos it's friday night. she blows me off..

Dude but don't take yourself so seriously. Maybe these friends she sees once every 2 months, you don't know. You probably won't giving her mind blowing 10/10 sex tonight so she postponed until Monday. She probably feels a little bad too.

im still a stranger at the end of the day but i cant help but think her IL level has dropped cos she rather go out with her friends than me.

i f'd up by not getting a firm time there and then, so i called straight back to say can she give me a def time cos otherwise i'll make other plans.

NO NO NO NO. Giving her an ultimatium and putting her under pressure to make a decision? What girl in the world finds that sexy?

Her: Sorry I can't make it tonight. Monday is good for me though, can call me then so we can arrange a time

You: You have give a DEFINITE TIME for Monday RIGHT NOW or else I will make other plans with other people who are more important than you. Are you going to give me a time now or what?

Does that make you seem confident? Does that make you seem in control? Does that make her feel sexy? Does that sound very James Bond like? Even though she canceled you, you have to still make her seem like the most important person in the world to you.

Her: Sorry I can't make it tonight. Monday is good for me though, call me then so we can arrange a time.
You: That's unfortunate, I was really looking forward to meeting you tonight. Unfortunately Monday doesn't work me, how about Wednesday at 1:00? There is a great coffee place I know just around the corner that I'm sure you'll love."